To think parents who let their kids 'play out' are just completely abdicating responsibility for their kids' behaviour?

[MaybeIWillFuckOffThen]

We have a little walled playground near our house - little climbing frame, slide, stepping stones, toddler swing, very clearly aimed at a young primary/pre-school audience.

It's currently being completely taken over by a huge group of 10-12 preteen/early teen boys playing very rough games of football with real leather footballs. The bang the balls off the walls and hoof them in the air so they go careering everywhere at speed, they run around roughly after the ball pushing and shoving each other and getting in other people's personal space, they fight and shout aggressively and swear. Not a parent in sight of course so no-one to appeal to to get them to moderate their behaviour/find a more suitable venue (like say the massive park 5 minutes walk away). I've had a word now and again but generally just get mutinous stares and/or backchat. I can't really take my kids (2 and 6) there to play any more as it isn't safe for them and the atmosphere is so aggressive.

Why do people just turn their kids out of doors with no idea where they're going/what they're doing? It makes it impossible for other parents - either they have to tell your kid off for you (immediately in the wrong) or they simply have to either put up with inappropriate, loutish behaviour or give way to it and leave.

My 2yo's right to climb on a climbing frame/bounce on a bouncer without having a football kicked into her face might override their right to exercise their independence literally wherever and however they want though

oh dear. I think maybe you’ve not got the responses you wanted so have started to get all exaggerating and weird with it . The kids are now 8 years old it seems, they are playing foot ball in between the equipment, and your little child is having heavy footballs kicked in her face on the regular by aggressive 8 year olds.

This

I too am wondering how your tone came across OP - did you just ask them to be considerate or did you tell them off? There’s a difference, and one is far more productive than the other.

Losing your cool is not OK - you are still the adult. And if they are in fact just 8, it’s got out of hand if you can’t talk to them calmly.

They are. But they're not allowed to hurt my little ones. Which has happened on several occasions when they've hoofed or rebounded a ball into them, or bowled into them whilst pursuing a ball.

The overwhelming majority of teenage and preteen boys will, if asked nicely, move their game of football away from small children. Many will do it spontaneously when they spot said small child too.

Can I suggest being an adult and asking the children to kindly move away while your little one is playing, it does actually work.

Op your reply to me was quite detailed but you still think parents should go out to watch their 12 year olds.

Really?

To be fair to them at that age I was smoking, drinking and a gobby little shite so the fact these kids are out in the fresh air playing football with their mates is great. To many kids now spend to much time at home staring at a screen

So now it’s gone from teenagers playing football near your ‘little ones’ where there’s been a few near misses to 8yo’s full on booting a ‘nose breaking’ football into your toddler?

Which has happened on several occasions when they've hoofed or rebounded a ball into them, or bowled into them whilst pursuing a ball

wtf? Your child is being regularly hurt and you just keep taking them there when the boys are playing and letting them get hurt again?

The most considerate groups I come across personally as a parent to younger kids are actually pre teen boys. The worst are teenage girls, by far

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl
"But kids are not robots who behave perfectly with the right programming, they’re human beings and they will behave imperfectly sometimes."

Of course (I work in a school too, I know how it goes) but if my son said he'd hung out in a toddler play park and played football there I'd be telling him it wasn't an appropriate space. It's not meant for them. They'd need to find somewhere else to go.

Absolutely! I've even had preteens try and include my kids in the games when they were smaller. It's quite sweet really.

Oh ffs. If you knew me you'd know how utterly ridiculous that statement is. I am the least 'feminine' woman I know, I am not remotely interested in restricting my girls to 'girly' pursuits or stopping them playing hard. I just don't want my 2yo child to get a hard ball kicked into her face by a 10yo child (of any sex).

Even if there was a free space to play football (as there is in most parks these days)? Inevitably a ball will roll into the toddler bit but hey that’s life, sometimes things don’t go to plan and Perfect Toddler Princesses will cope much better than their parents.

When they can be trusted to be civilised. It's not an age thing, it's a maturity thing.

Haha same! The amount of football games by 6yo has ended up playing in with boys twice is age is insane. They often come over and ask if he can have a sweet as they brought a pack along etc. Not just in my area, but I experience this when we visit other places. It makes me sad that people have so little faith in boys and just assume they’ll turn into horrible men the day they turn 18

OP do you actually know any boys aged 8-12? Nephews, friends dc etc? Because you don't seem to understand them well at all. You can't just assume that they won't listen to you if you try to have a friendly chat with them. You haven't even tried. All boys (and girls) of this age that I know would listen and be respectful to an adult that is treating them with respect. But quite a few of them would get their backs up and ignore an adult that moans at them regularly when they are just trying to play.

I just don't want my 2yo child to get a hard ball kicked into her face by a 10yo child

I can’t even believe what I’m reading now. I don’t believe for one moment this is true. That your child is regularly having a hard balled kicked into her face. I just don’t believe you.

I didn’t accuse you of being ‘feminine’

But your story is getting more and more exaggerated and you’re understanding of how older children play will hopefully change in the coming years because it sounds like you are treating your girls like China

I know some 30+-year-olds who play 5-a-side pub football and are completely immature. Should their mums be on the bench watching them?! 😂

Do you use the park when the kids are in school ?

Where else are they supposed to go? Cinema, bowling, arcade, ?? It's all money, they're still kids and are entitled to play. Your kids arent the only ones in the world. Theres not many places for teens to go, mine does go in and out of a few friends houses but kids dont want adults round all the time, and not everyone wants a house full

How do you know their parents don’t believe they’re being civilised? Are they supposed to throw on their Cloak of Invisibility and follow their son to the park to check he definitely is?

I assure you even when your girls are older they will make out to be much, much nicer and considerate than they actually are. As , I imagine, these boys are to their parents (not that I think playing a game of football with a proper football in a free space in a children’s park is especially inconsiderate).

This is fair nobody wants their toddler hurt by other kids,however this is something you will have to.navigate.by either asking the kids to.be careful and getting a bit of lip off them you just need to stand your ground with them,