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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL has my Valentine gift

368 replies

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 07:57

About 5 years ago, DH bought me a few gifts for valentines day including a mug, it was very distinctive being red with 'love you' on it.

I really liked this mug. It would cheer me up whenever I looked at it, it was a perfect size for my coffee, comfy handle, just a nice mug. I used it daily.

A few years ago we stayed with MIL between house moves for 4 weeks, and I took my favourite mug.

I noticed her using it a few times, fine, okay, fair enough we were staying there. But when we moved out, and I couldn't find this mug. I swear I packed it but it wasn't in the box with other mugs.

The next time we visited MIL, I noticed my mug in her cupboard. I thought oh good, I can't have packed it! I brought it out and said I'd been looking for it and phew there it was!

She said NO that's her mug. That someone bought it for her. I asked who? She couldn't remember.

This mug is very distinctive, even with a little scratch I made by accident the first week I had it, so I know it's my mug.

Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

OP posts:
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5
StanleyBriggs · 14/02/2023 09:46

Although actually you will always have to hide it when she visits or she'll nick it right back!

Chickenly · 14/02/2023 09:46

As a lawyer, I would never, ever, ever condone stealing.

However, this isn’t stealing. It’s your mug. Go and get it back. Now.

cheeky mare

forrestgreen · 14/02/2023 09:47

She'll be telling everyone her son bought it for her.
Take it, or drop it...

Beautiful3 · 14/02/2023 09:47

I would steal it back. Bring a large hand bag next time you visit.

Triflenot · 14/02/2023 09:48

I don’t think I’d bother getting it back. It wouldn’t be the same, I’d probably end up feeling uncomfortable every time I used it.

TangledWebOfDeception · 14/02/2023 09:49

@CloudySuns Treat yourself to a beautiful new mug! I wouldn’t want that one now after all this time of someone else using it...

Maybe your DH could get you one from Emma Bridgewater (my favourite, but might not be to your tastes!), they have some lovely designs right now.

ididntwanttodoit · 14/02/2023 09:49

I'm with the "accidentally drop it" crew. Even better, get DH to drop it, then you won't get the blame.

MrKlaw · 14/02/2023 09:50

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 14/02/2023 08:18

"Accidentally" drop it on the floor.

buy a very similar one and drop that on the floor and pretend its your one, which you've previously snuck into your bag

stonebrambleboy · 14/02/2023 09:51

Let her keep it. Spread the joy and all that. Is FIL still around?

Shortpoet · 14/02/2023 09:51

Swop it with the not quite perfect mug. Swear blind that the not perfect one is definitely her mug

FeinCuroxiVooz · 14/02/2023 09:54

yanbu but why hasn't DH already sorted it out. he is responsible for managing any potential frictions with his own mum, to make sure you aren't made out to be the baddy, so he just needs to find it, be certain that it's yours and tell his mum that he remembers buying it for you and remembers the scratch. if she insists otherwise then she needs dementia testing so it's important that he talks about it with her.

soggydigestives · 14/02/2023 09:55

I'd take it back and buy her a new one for her birthday!

Schnooze · 14/02/2023 09:57

A way to deal with it after all this time.

He can “accidentally find” it in her cupboard and he can act surprised and can laughingly say to mil “bloody hell I buy clouds a loving gift and she leaves it here. Shows how much she loves me. Here clouds, take this home!” You reply, yes I did think it was mine. I will take it home. Oops sorry dh” tinkly laugh.

Mil can’t argue with that exchange. And it’s not you being petty bring it up again.

PurpleFlower1983 · 14/02/2023 09:57

Definitely steal it back.

CloakAndTin · 14/02/2023 10:01

I would just leave it now, although I do understand the love of a mug that's "just right". The ebay one is accepting offers so offer them a fiver. Honestly there's no way they'll get £10 for a second hand sainsbury's mug. Sentimental value aside, that would be 50p in a charity shop.

louise5754 · 14/02/2023 10:03

Is she single / a widower? Maybe she's never had anyone buy her anything like this before. Maybe it makes her feel as though someone bought it for her? But still it's bound to open up questions especially from you.

I know it's not about the money but that does look like a really cheap mug. Can your husband get you another nicer new one?

TibetanTerrah · 14/02/2023 10:04

I used to have a mug like this pic, and your predicament has given me an idea.

Spend £14 on the replacement mug. Buy some letters spelling out I'M A TWAT or other choice words and superglue them to the base.

Smuggle the 'new' mug to MILs, and discreetly swap it for your one...

MIL has my Valentine gift
endoftheworldniteclub · 14/02/2023 10:04

Or next time you are there, let your dh take out the mug and say ’Still a bit weird you drinkint out of the love mug I bought Cloudy for Valentines day..don’t you think that too? Oh well.’ He can laugh and put it back in the cupboard, and buy you a new one.

Trinidading3 · 14/02/2023 10:05

I know exactly how you feel, I had a total shock once whilst visiting a very close relative to see displayed so lovingly my silver bookmark being used to prop up a photo , I was so shocked I had been looking for it everywhere as it's sooo cute and I have had it for years so nearly a heirloom......I immediately let off steam to my brother as I was flabbergasted that this person obviously helped themselves to it without asking for it.....so I hatched a plan to steal it back....I did and that was the end of it.. I honestly felt so much better being reunited with it.....thinking about it now.... the shock I felt when I saw it at this person's house was weird.....

hopewithoutpanic · 14/02/2023 10:08

Take every single other mug in the house and just leave the love you mug on its own in the cupboard. You need to send a message not to mess with a woman and her favourite mug.

RobertsRadio · 14/02/2023 10:10

Just make an offer on the eBay mug and then you can forget the one at MIL's.

StormTreader · 14/02/2023 10:11

Stash it in your bag, take it home.
Next time she visits and tries to take it, do the same to her as she did to you "oh no, you're mistaken, this is MY mug, DH gave it to me for valentines".

Worst case, it'll become an amusing running turf war between you with the rotating shared custody :D

Collaborate · 14/02/2023 10:12

This is the kind of thing my mum used to do - turned out it was the early stages of dementia - seeing something and assuming it was hers.

SoupDragon · 14/02/2023 10:13

SgtCatherineCawood · 14/02/2023 09:19

She's had it for ages now though!*
*
Maybe it was "you" who gave her it 🤣

Actually, that's a valid point. Just how long has she had it? She probably genuinely thinks it's hers as she found it in the back of her cupboard and the reason she can't remember who gave it to her because no one did but she assumes she's had it for ages.

Smineusername · 14/02/2023 10:14

Please god steal that mug back.

The cheek of her!