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Original poster

MIL has my Valentine gift

368 replies

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 07:57

About 5 years ago, DH bought me a few gifts for valentines day including a mug, it was very distinctive being red with 'love you' on it.

I really liked this mug. It would cheer me up whenever I looked at it, it was a perfect size for my coffee, comfy handle, just a nice mug. I used it daily.

A few years ago we stayed with MIL between house moves for 4 weeks, and I took my favourite mug.

I noticed her using it a few times, fine, okay, fair enough we were staying there. But when we moved out, and I couldn't find this mug. I swear I packed it but it wasn't in the box with other mugs.

The next time we visited MIL, I noticed my mug in her cupboard. I thought oh good, I can't have packed it! I brought it out and said I'd been looking for it and phew there it was!

She said NO that's her mug. That someone bought it for her. I asked who? She couldn't remember.

This mug is very distinctive, even with a little scratch I made by accident the first week I had it, so I know it's my mug.

Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

OP posts:
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LilyAndTheKing · 14/02/2023 10:45

@CloudySuns that mug might be reduced in the sale after today, perhaps get it then?
I'd totally be fed up with someone who appropriated my favourite drinking vessel.

GiraffeLaSophie · 14/02/2023 10:47

If you’re absolutely certain it’s yours then I wouldn’t get into a discussion about it. Just take it back and put it in your cupboard.

If she says anything then just say that’s your mug that her son bought for you for Valentine’s Day years ago and you have no idea where her mug is.

Two can play at that game!

FinallyHere · 14/02/2023 10:48

Surely this represents an easy win for your DH to get you a new, unscratched one of those mugs.

Simples, as you are now the love of his life, as was always inevitable as he grew up.

Seems as if his DM still has some growing up to do.

Then, anytime you see the mug in her house you and he can share a conspiratorial giggle, because, well, you both know you are now 'it'

RandomUsernameHere · 14/02/2023 10:50

MiL sounds unhinged, how could she not remember who gave her a very specific Valentines' gift? Assuming she doesn't have multiple romantic admirers. Sounds like she has stolen it on purpose.

thetwotattoos · 14/02/2023 10:50

That is one crazy power game your MIL has got going on! Your son gives someone an 'I Love You' mug and MIL commandeers it as she feels that sentiment should be directed to her. I don't think for one minute she doesn't know it's yours so... take it back, drop it, chip it, replace it with a similar one, buy yourself another one....your move.

RicciardoPerez · 14/02/2023 10:52

@ScottishLavender I think you're my best friend lol! Genuinely something she has said before hehe!

CopperMaran · 14/02/2023 10:52

Schnooze · 14/02/2023 09:57

A way to deal with it after all this time.

He can “accidentally find” it in her cupboard and he can act surprised and can laughingly say to mil “bloody hell I buy clouds a loving gift and she leaves it here. Shows how much she loves me. Here clouds, take this home!” You reply, yes I did think it was mine. I will take it home. Oops sorry dh” tinkly laugh.

Mil can’t argue with that exchange. And it’s not you being petty bring it up again.

Really wouldn’t go with the “shows how much she loves me” line!

Catspyjamas17 · 14/02/2023 10:54

Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

I'm a knob who would have argued the shit out of that.

CopperMaran · 14/02/2023 10:54

TheFretfulPorpentine · 14/02/2023 10:36

It's only a mug and you've managed without it for years, why give it headspace?

If it is only a mug then why does MIL feel the need to lie (or lie to herself by rewriting history). It’s a symbol of a bigger emotional situation that is as old as time itself!

SamanthaCarter · 14/02/2023 10:56

It's just a mug, if it makes your MIL happy then just let her have it. Its weird behavior on her part alright, but I'm all for keeping the peace. She must really like it!

Also, I'm very weird about other people drinking from my mugs/cups/glass. I have a mug in work that I keep in my desk at all times. If I saw someone else using it, I'd let them have it and replace it.

CopperMaran · 14/02/2023 10:56

thetwotattoos · 14/02/2023 10:50

That is one crazy power game your MIL has got going on! Your son gives someone an 'I Love You' mug and MIL commandeers it as she feels that sentiment should be directed to her. I don't think for one minute she doesn't know it's yours so... take it back, drop it, chip it, replace it with a similar one, buy yourself another one....your move.

Totally agree. I certainly don’t think she’s being sweet or daft. It’s horrible being on the receiving end of behaviour that insidiously unsettling whilst other people can’t understand what the problem is.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 14/02/2023 10:58

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 08:41

I found it!

But bloody hell I can't spend £14 on a mug 😩I may need to move on and let this go.

I think I’d just let her have it or break it next time I’m over.

Its odd behaviour from MIL but maybe if she doesn’t have a partner etc this mug somehow cements in her mind that she’s loved by someone even if she can’t recall who gave it to her!

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 14/02/2023 10:59

CopperMaran · 14/02/2023 10:54

If it is only a mug then why does MIL feel the need to lie (or lie to herself by rewriting history). It’s a symbol of a bigger emotional situation that is as old as time itself!

Show quote history

Yes but maybe if MIL doesn’t have a partner or is widowed etc and would like someone male in her life to give her attention this mug does it?!

autienotnaughty · 14/02/2023 11:00

Take it back. IWhen she can't find it if its innocent she will assume it is lost and given she doesn't know who gave it to her she surely won't care that much. If she did it on purpose then she knows she's met her match.

Astrak · 14/02/2023 11:03

Take it back! I had a MIL like that. The sort that saps the joy of little things right out of one's life. Nothing was ever good enough for her. If she was invited for Sunday lunch, she brought sandwiches. "You never cook anything I like properly". The rest of the in-laws scoffed it all down and accepted seconds.
Ignore her!

BabyTa · 14/02/2023 11:04

Please make it a thing! It's not just a mug, it's a memory. Steal it back!

kateandme · 14/02/2023 11:07

Finding the perfect mug is like finding buried treasure. You must then hold onto it forever

newnamethanks · 14/02/2023 11:09

Oh dear MIL, I've dropped it and now it's broken. I'm petty like that.

Andsoforth · 14/02/2023 11:11

I’d be jumping up to make the coffee in her house, and serving hers in the red mug and asking if she has remembered yet who gave it to her. Everytime. not really but fun to imagine it

elm26 · 14/02/2023 11:17

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and this has given me the rage 😂 take your mug and tell her to piss off the mug stealing weirdo

IncompleteSenten · 14/02/2023 11:19

You could always go full penis beaker on her.

I hope it's not my mug. DH ejaculated into that mug as a joke and I never used it since.

I'm joking. Obviously. But imagine her face 😁

BlackFlyChardonnay · 14/02/2023 11:20

Get your mug back. She knows what she's done. With the way you've explained all her mugs being blue and white with no other novelty mugs, she has clearly decided to steal the mug for herself.

I feel like the mug is a metaphor for your husband's love. She is jealous that her little boy adores you so, and wishes he'd buy her a public declaration of adoration in mug-form. Although she claims to have forgotten who gifted it, I bet she flaunts it to her friends and coos "oh? This 'Love You' mug? Why yes, my son bought it for me because he adores me so."

Can he buy her a mug for mother's day next month? Big pink one with a pandering slogan: world's best mum, i love my mum etc.

But, ultimately, take back the mug. You had your Forever Mug and you deserve to not live through another coffee without it.

SwishSwipe · 14/02/2023 11:24

It is quite amusing that your MIL thought she could pass of 'not remembering' who bought her a mug that has 'LOVE YOU' on it! How odd!

Is this reflective of her character in general or a surprising one-off?

I would let her have it - at least you now know she loves slogan mugs, which will make present buying easier!

Hope you find another perfect mug soon OP.

SisterAgatha · 14/02/2023 11:26

i had some mugs that meant SO much to me and my brother, distinctive collectors items (not worth anything) but a very rare find, my Nan saved stamps and send off for them in the 1980’s, and they were matching and had so much sentimental value. Mum gave them away. I bought the same ones off eBay, just paid the price and now glow inside when i see mine drinking from them.

I’d just get the same one again, and switch it or keep it.

TangledWebOfDeception · 14/02/2023 11:26

@CloudySuns as @SwishSwipe says, now you know just how much she loves slogan mugs!

I'd take a cue from that and give her a 'LOVE YOU' mug every single Christmas or Birthday (or both) from now on, right from you to her!!