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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL has my Valentine gift

368 replies

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 07:57

About 5 years ago, DH bought me a few gifts for valentines day including a mug, it was very distinctive being red with 'love you' on it.

I really liked this mug. It would cheer me up whenever I looked at it, it was a perfect size for my coffee, comfy handle, just a nice mug. I used it daily.

A few years ago we stayed with MIL between house moves for 4 weeks, and I took my favourite mug.

I noticed her using it a few times, fine, okay, fair enough we were staying there. But when we moved out, and I couldn't find this mug. I swear I packed it but it wasn't in the box with other mugs.

The next time we visited MIL, I noticed my mug in her cupboard. I thought oh good, I can't have packed it! I brought it out and said I'd been looking for it and phew there it was!

She said NO that's her mug. That someone bought it for her. I asked who? She couldn't remember.

This mug is very distinctive, even with a little scratch I made by accident the first week I had it, so I know it's my mug.

Of course I'd be a right knob to have argued further, so I put it back in her cupboard. It's just a mug but every valentines day I think about it and it irks me! It was my mug!

OP posts:
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Cackawhookie · 14/02/2023 09:00

Steal it back, then when she next comes round make yourself a coffee in it and eyeball her the whole time whilst drinking from it……..

HappyAsASandboy · 14/02/2023 09:04

If your DH wasn't involved last time, then he's your chance for a do-over next time you visit.

Next time you're there, DH should find it in the cupboard and loudly exclaim "oh, CloudySuns, you mugs turned up! Definitely yours as it has that scratch you made after having it all of about 2 seconds. I'm so pleased it's turned up after all this time". You can respond in joy and then just leave it hanging to see if your MIL says anything. I bet she doesn't say a word, and you can bring your mug home.

bussteward · 14/02/2023 09:06

Steal it back! It’s not tainted, it’s a mug. Making it a thing would be part of the mug’s sentimental value for me - now it’s not only a gift it’s the gift MIL famously stole and lied about. Think of the potential for her re-thieving it, you sneaking it back, and round and round we go.

MaryLennoxsScowl · 14/02/2023 09:08

Buy ten LoveYou mugs and keep them at your house. When MIL comes round, give everyone tea in them and say to her ‘look how kind DH is - I was sad I couldn’t find my mug so he told me he loves me ten times as much and got me the mugs to prove it!’

musicandpassion · 14/02/2023 09:08

I'm with everyone else. I would steal it back or smash it. If I can't have it then sure as hell no one else can! But I'm quite petty.

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 09:11

I think the reason I haven't nabbed it back is the slight chance she genuinely believes it's hers, and the thought of her confused face trying to find it.

I just mentioned it to DH and he's said he can get it back if I want it. He's laughing a lot too.

She's had it for ages now though!

OP posts:
TaRaDeBumDeAy · 14/02/2023 09:16

YAVU for not taking it back when you left that day, and hiding it every time she came round.

Couldyounot · 14/02/2023 09:19

Get a mug made up with "DON'T STEAL MY STUFF" on it, and swap it for yours. Job done.

SgtCatherineCawood · 14/02/2023 09:19

She's had it for ages now though!*
*
Maybe it was "you" who gave her it 🤣

itsgettingweird · 14/02/2023 09:20

You definitely need to steal it back.

Then deny all knowledge and play complete innocence.

After all she can hardly say anything when she was convinced your mug was hers brought by someone she couldn't remember.

SillyLittleBiscuit · 14/02/2023 09:22

She’s probably accidentally rewritten history. It’d drive me mad though. I can’t cope with people having my stuff. Get your H to get it back.

PuppyMonkey · 14/02/2023 09:25

Totally mess with her mind and tell her YOU FOUND YOUR MUG AT HOME.Grin

GrumpyPanda · 14/02/2023 09:26

Don't be such a mug.

GretaGip · 14/02/2023 09:27

I'd take it and leave another mug in its place.

Ahem.

MIL has my Valentine gift
TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 14/02/2023 09:29

I had a perfect mug once. Sadly it broke and once never come close to getting another one that was as good. If someone had tried to pinch it like that I wouldn't have been able to let it go I don't think!

Get dh to retrieve it!

MintyGreenDreams · 14/02/2023 09:31

3 options

1.say to her "give me my fucking mug back you thieving mare"

2.steal back the mug

3.stare longingly at the mug every time you visit until she dies.

Mumteedum · 14/02/2023 09:33

TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 14/02/2023 09:29

I had a perfect mug once. Sadly it broke and once never come close to getting another one that was as good. If someone had tried to pinch it like that I wouldn't have been able to let it go I don't think!

Get dh to retrieve it!

Great minds.... Yours is a little harsh. This one is more on point Wink

MIL has my Valentine gift
MinnieGirl · 14/02/2023 09:38

SingaporeSlinky · 14/02/2023 08:55

Yeah I’d get DH to ‘find’ the mug in his mum’s cupboard and say to her “oh mum, this is CloudySun’s mug, she’s been looking for this” and when his mum says it’s hers, he can say “no, look, it’s even got the scratch on” and just insist. If all that fails, I’d have to smash it too.

That’s what I would do. Get DH to do that. And if she starts arguing he can just laugh at her and say what a tea leaf you are mum

LookItsMeAgain · 14/02/2023 09:39

SgtCatherineCawood · 14/02/2023 08:24

Someone gave her a mug saying "love you" and she can't remember who 😅

Has no one picked her up on this bit? I mean you might be given a mug as a gift from someone but if you get a mug that says "Love You" on it, you'd remember who gave it to you as they clearly loved you???

If your DH gave you another mug, swap it in for the one that your MiL has and take your favourite mug back!

daisychain01 · 14/02/2023 09:41

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 08:41

I found it!

But bloody hell I can't spend £14 on a mug 😩I may need to move on and let this go.

Can you get DH to order it for you for this year's Valentines Day, then it will be just as meaningful as the other one ♥️ it's a really cute mug! Plus it will be pristine with no scratch on it.

barmycatmum · 14/02/2023 09:41

Just steal it back. Replace it with another mug 😂😂

daisychain01 · 14/02/2023 09:42

CloudySuns · 14/02/2023 09:11

I think the reason I haven't nabbed it back is the slight chance she genuinely believes it's hers, and the thought of her confused face trying to find it.

I just mentioned it to DH and he's said he can get it back if I want it. He's laughing a lot too.

She's had it for ages now though!

You're definitely the bigger person!

FictionalCharacter · 14/02/2023 09:43

SingaporeSlinky · 14/02/2023 08:55

Yeah I’d get DH to ‘find’ the mug in his mum’s cupboard and say to her “oh mum, this is CloudySun’s mug, she’s been looking for this” and when his mum says it’s hers, he can say “no, look, it’s even got the scratch on” and just insist. If all that fails, I’d have to smash it too.

This is the way!
How awful that she not only took it, but lied about it. Nobody believes that “someone” bought them a distinctive mug like that, that’s completely different from all their other mugs, but can’t remember who. This is something of sentimental value, a gift from husband to wife, and MILs should keep their mitts off things like that. If my mother had stolen something like that, a sweet gift for DH that he liked and used all the time, I would have had it straight back off her.

StanleyBriggs · 14/02/2023 09:44

PuppyMonkey · 14/02/2023 09:25

Totally mess with her mind and tell her YOU FOUND YOUR MUG AT HOME.Grin

Definitely this! 😂

mumoffourminimes · 14/02/2023 09:46

One of you needs to steal it back. If she notices you tell her you found it at home after all 😁