Wedding during GCSE period

[RoseyPosey78]

After a very long engagement (7 years!) DP & I are finally booking our wedding for next year. We have always wanted to get married in June as our unofficial anniversary is in this month. However, DSD will be taking her GCSE's next year and they fall over May-June time! Do you think AIBU to to think she will be ok for one day and it won't disrupt her too much? I am happy to go into July as obviously I'd rather she do as well as she can but just wondered what people's thoughts are as the June date has a lot of sentimental value for us?! We're looking at the May half term to give her space around the day if that helps?

Really good idea to make it late June. English and maths (several papers each) are usually around half term.

I would definitely do it after the exams or the year after in June. I am and was so laid back with exams and don't get stressed with them at all but school runs so many revision sessions in the run up to them she may want to go to them. Then there is always the what ifs. If she did unfortunately not get what she is expecting it could mar the relationship she has with you both, as natural blame would be placed on the wedding even if it there was no fault there. My son is in yr10 and already its crazy with homework etc that's before he starts yr11 in September. She will definitely not enjoy it as much as she will without exams looming over her head.

This isn't even a question, you should wait until after the exams are finished and make sure she doesn't feel the stress of the wedding preparations around her.

If you're asking us then you know it's wrong right in the middle or run up to her exams

It's a very stressful time and she needs to be in the 'zone' during her exams

I'd personally do it in July. Having gone through two sets of gcses the exam period is a bit of a stressy time - with mine it was more the worrying about which exam was when and me worrying were they ok. I would not want to be dealing with an imminent wedding too. Plus it would be something to look forward to rather than something in the mid of a busy time. Plus there's celebration with friends and prom if they have that. I'd want may/June to be about her so once it's all over the focus can be on the wedding.

Just wait until she’s finished her exams, she will be more relaxed and enjoy it more too.
If she’s anything like my daughter was all she’ll be thinking about is her next exam.
although that month holds sentimental value to you, your new wedding anniversary will also become a new sentimental date.

You night want to check when her prom date is too as I'm sure she'd rather be at that with her mates than at a family wedding.

Or just not be so selfish and wait until July?

Dickhead move

I'd say go for it

Currently immersed in the year 11 'gcse or bust' part of life, and god, it's horrid.

We are looking to book a little break on the may half term just to give the poor kid something to look forward to

Maybe being part of her mums wedding will be a lovey way to have a bit of down time in what is such a stressful time.

You think a 15/16 yr old would rather be at a prom with a bunch of random people she isn’t likely to keep in touch with than her dads wedding?

Of course you don't plan a wedding for in, or close to, GCSEs. The final few weeks and days are chaos; dress fittings, chasing final numbers, finalising seating plans, final arrangements on cake, flowers, favours etc... either book for August or wait a year.

I haven’t read the full thread but I don’t see a problem with this, it’s one weekend day and by may half term she should be prepared and ready for her exams and if she’s not an extra day won’t really help.

Also everyone saying you need to be giving her your full support and attention over this time, I disagree. I just got on snd did my GCSES and got all As and A *s. My mum was there if I needed her to test me on anything but she definitely could have spent my year 11 planning her wedding and it would have had zero impact on me.

My DD is also taking GCSEs next summer, we will not be focussing September to June solely around this, they don’t need this sort of pressure and it does not need to take over their lives .

Why do you not ask her what she thinks?

The June date can’t be so significant if you are saying you would marry in the May half term so on that basis I’d push back to very late June or early July. My DD is doing her GCSEs this year and we still haven’t had official confirmation of when her exam dates are. We have been told there is a contingency day on 28 June she must be available for and Prom is 29 June so really even late June is risky. I’d do July.

Weddings are not just a one day thing if you live with the people who are getting married. This is totally different to attending a family friend’s wedding. Your DSD will be distracted by the wedding planning and will probably want to be actively involved. Wedding planning takes months. Maybe you should get married Autumn 2023 or Spring 2024. Her exams and revision for the exams won’t be impacted by wedding planning then.

Absolutely fine then!!

All the people saying GCSEs wont take over their lives and you wont put that pressure on your children ... regardless of how you think or act, school puts pressure on your children, life puts pressure on your children and just the timings of everything is INTENSE. It does take over their lives. There are a LOT more exams now, as there isn't coursework like there used to be. There's a lot of back and forth to exams and revision sessions. It's emotionally exhausting.

Whilst we know that the actual results aren't the most important thing and don't matter forever, the exam period does take over your life.

Maths is usually the last GCSE and is often towards the end of June so I wouldn't bank on it.

@RoseyPosey78 if it is a weekend day at half term it should be OK. You will obviously need to not involve your DSD in any wedding planning as GCSEs start mid May, and she really can't do with any distractions. Having a lovely day off in the middle will be something nice for her to look forward to though.

I'd avoid that period entirely- its not just a day it's the build up. She won't enjoy it and you may distract her.

if it’s a Saturday during half term then this isn’t even a question IMO.

i would ask her what she thinks, but unless she’s one of those kids who studying all the time she’ll be spending a large part of half term with her friends. One day isn’t going to matter.

@Mostexpensiveplug

Er....... Yes

This year Maths is The Friday a whole week before half term, and the 2 Wednesdays after half term.

Good luck with your wedding OP 😁 I think some GCSEs will fall before May half term & the rest after. They have about 21 exams too so it's an awful lot! If you plan your wedding for 1st Saturday of half term she may very well have an exam the day before. I think she'll be stressed & exhausted tbh. I'd definitely wait til early July personally then it will give you all something to look forward to. My DD had 9 exams in 3 wks last May/June for her A Levels & that was pretty stressful. We didn't do much else during that time period as a family. Not been through the GCSE period yet as my DD exams were cancelled in 2020. Hope you can find a date that suits everybody. Avoid the exam contingency date though - it's usually about a week after all the exams finish x

I think this all depends on your DSD’s temperament.

I know for me, I would have found my parents’ wedding in the middle of my GCSEs extremely difficult. However, you know your DSD best. Some downtime from revising during half term isn’t a bad thing, and might help keep things in perspective.

I was just going to say the same thing. Honestly, unless OP is expecting DSD to organise the wedding, make the dress, and do the catering - which she quite obviously isn't - then I can't see the problem. What a lot of fuss, and I'm very thankful I don't live in the UK is this is the pressure kids are put under regarding exams.