I think Itisbetter · Today, Mon., 15:06, makes a good point. I do sympathise with the OP and anyone else in this position though because having to ask for help is daunting and still can spoil what should be a very pleasant special occasion if you have to speak to someone about the thoughtless behaviour of another person. But it is the best and possibly the only way to deal with it I am sure. I would try the Manager if the Waiters can't get a decent result.
Interestingly, the OP was not asking what to do about it. She was explaining a scenario, of which she first set the scene very well, illustrating it wasn't an ordinary lunch place but "a celebration so we splashed out." and describing the kind of extra details that the restaurant produced such as the 'amuse bouche' and Waiters' white gloves. She also explained how a member of the party with the 'singing' girl did have an awareness of other restaurant users and took his baby out. But she wasn't asking how to deal with the irritation. Her point was, 'Why the hell do some parents do this?' and 'in a place which is way out of most peoples usual daily reach, am I unreasonable to think those parents should have said something to this child and told her to stop?'
So, A] Why do some parents do this?
And B] Is it unreasonable to expect parents to have said something to this child and told her to stop?
My thoughts are A] Because some people do not care about making other people's experience unhappy and have no thought for the effect their or their child's behaviour is having on others. In other words they are selfish.
B] Of course they should tell their child not to do a thing that is irritating to many* other people, especially in a restaurant.
OP said "you could see people looking from all over the restaurant."
I need to add, Itisbetter, your remark, "Forget the disability question because really people were only answering the twats who suggest that those with disabilities should stay away until they are miraculously able or go to “cheap places” because the other diners don’t matter as much." is offensive and as far as my comments go, it is wholly inaccurate.
At best you have been over sensitive about disabled children, but it is no excuse for twisting what people say and calling them vulgar names. I worked with so many disabled children who were tertiary referrals which means they were in need of help their local services were having trouble in providing. I was closely in contact with their wonderful parents too. I know the isolation and the terrible remarks that mostly the mums have to endure especially with the children whose appearance does not suggest they have any disability. Therefore when they come out with behaviour that is unexpected, people can be very judgemental and not at all understanding.
As far as I can remember, all the people I met used to try to keep a balance between letting their child join in with the things other children did and taking care they did not disrupt the atmosphere so that others could not enjoy whatever activity it was, in an appropriate way.
This topic clearly described this restaurant as being quite different from an every-day lunch experience; "a nice celebration lunch. It was a step up from your regular restaurant, the kind of place where chef sounds out an amuse bouche, there is one menu for the day," etc. Then she described the father taking out the crying baby. If the little girl were unable to stop her loud repetitive singing of the same line, one could hope that members of her family would take her out so that other people were not driven mad.
In fact the OP has told us the child did not seem to be Special Needs and she wrote here because she cannot understand why parents let children do this kind of thing. She wanted answers about the parents. If you want to say it's because they are totally unable to stop them, then say that. But leave out the vulgarity and insults you heap on
Respondents who are simply trying to suggest helpful ideas or are giving the benefit of their experiences. Most of all do not make up lies about them. It does not make your ideas more convincing to try and crush people by subjecting them to coarse language in an ad hominem attack.
I am genuinely concerned that you might be feeling very unhappy about your circumstances and are reading things through a perception of persecution or feeling downtrodden and hopeless when actually people care very much about you. If you have a disabled child, there should be a lot of support for you. It might not be enjoyable right now to take a disabled child to a posh restaurant where the child might get very bored and people might be looking at him in annoyance. But never give up hope. I have seen behavioural disabilities become moderated to such a degree that things have really become quite different they are so much better as the child has grown older. Also as far as a restaurant like this one is concerned, I did say I wouldn't have taken my children to the type of restaurant I think of as 'for adults' where the food is amazing and the service out of this world. They wouldn't have been able to appreciate it. I'd wait till they were much older. In fact I was taken to such a restaurant by my adult daughter and her husband the first time I went to such a place!