Childcare excluded my child

[BrokenAndAfraid]

My child aged 7 sneaked a mobile phone in to school and from there into childcare. Of course I accept she was naughty and shouldn't have done it.
the childcare facility has now excluded my child - as she took a photo of another child - whist under there care.
They have said she had created a safeguarding issue.
She was caught by the staff and asked not to play on the phone, but they did not confiscate it. They handed it back to her. Older children have phones so this confused her. The phone has no sim and access to internet - it's used to play games.
AIBU to expect them to take responsibility for allowing a child to play with a phone? And then to exclude her with no prior warning?

Surely, the whole point of childcare is that a 7 year old needs adult supervision? Yes, she shouldn't have sneaked a phone in but she's a child and children do dumb stuff which is why they need adult supervision in the first place when the parents are working?

Exclusion seems a very extreme reaction. If she'd have been caught playing with a stolen lighter would they have just handed that back over too? I can understand that it was against their safeguarding policies but they do need to take some responsibility for this themselves as they are the adults and you weren't there. If you were there, then you wouldn't have needed childcare in the first place. They've probably done you a massive favour to be honest as you need childcare where adults are willing to act as responsible adults.

Whose phone was it?

This 100%.

A 7 year old isn't a toddler. They don't need watching like a hawk. They can be left to play independently for a few minutes while the cm changes a nappy or serves food.

I have to say OP, I'd be furious if a photo was taken of my child even if by another child. You never know where these things will end up.

Well what kind of picture was it? It does seem to be an overreaction. Of course she needs punishing but it does seem OTT. She is only 7, how many stupid things did we all do at 7 years old?!

@Sherrystrull the OP says the caregiver handed the phone back. If my child was doing something wrong and I wasn't there , I would expect the person I'd paid to act in loco parentis to do just that. Yes, I would want to pick up on that and be made aware, but I would not expect a childcare provider to just shrug their shoulders and blame me when I was not there.

Fortunately, my children are much older now, but I did use nurseries, pre schools, after school clubs, child minders, camps and holiday clubs for all 3 and I never ever had issues with any of these settings. Every single one of them acted in loco parentis and I trusted them to do as I would have done if I'd been there. There was the odd occasion I'd be called at work to fill me in on something I needed to know but I trusted them implicitly to do their jobs. I couldn't have worked otherwise.

My twins were an absolute handful, I will be the first to admit that, but I had decent childcare that I trusted 100%. My youngest is now 15 and actually incredibly easy to parent/teach but you have to understand not all kids are like my youngest. Some kids just do stuff they're not supposed to. That's why we trust other adults to look after them when we can't.

Furious at who though? Surely, if you entrust a childminder/nursery/after school club you're expecting them to take care of your daughter as you would? Otherwise, you may as well just leave them to roam the streets and keep your fingers crossed?

@Casilero Well I am trusting the childminder to take care of my child the same as I do yes, I do not expect strangers to be having photos of my offspring. I dont know where a photo will end up, and i do not know who will see it. Not sure what roaming the street has to do with my comment sorry!

She is 7, she was showing off and doing silly childish things that 7 year olds do to impress. She doesn’t have the maturity to know what safeguarding or child protection is.
she should have had the phone confiscated, a mild bollocking and you should have been told so she doesn’t bring it again.

What I mean by that comment is that you are entrusting other adults to look after your child just as you would. Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude or obtuse. Just that if another child did something to harm your child it's the fault of the other adults in charge, not the other child. We don't just leave our children to roam the streets with other children (which was quite common in the 70s and 80s when I grew up) precisely because we expect adults to keep our children safe.

Ah yes! Sorry I didn't read it properly- absolutely, i expect an adult in a position of trust to keep my child safe, it's not a 7 year olds responsibility. However, what I was trying to say to OP is that while exclusion is extreme in this scenario, I personally would be outraged that anyone had a picture of my child because my current circumstances include keeping our location fairly excluded from people outside of our circle. So from my own perspective I can see why the providers have said that it's a safeguarding issue, I am sure I'm not the only person who is wary but equally I think it's so easy to forget about those of us who are, when you don't have bad intentions yourself and would have deleted a photo of a strangers child without even thinking twice!

There has to be more to the story than this. Has she been in trouble with them before this?

@SwanGame yes, I expect you're probably right, and there is indeed more to this story. I'm just commenting on what the OP said. I notice they've not been back though...

after school childcare

She took a picture of her freind - with freinds permission

I feel like they should of confiscated the phone and let me know . Not allow a child to keep the phone and then complain it's against the rules

Pfft. You’re still deflecting.

Your child did something against the rules. You take no responsibility for dealing with that.

I agree with you. That's what I would have expected to happen too.

A mobile phone is hardly a gun. You can't be expected to lock them away just in case a child accesses one and takes it to school against the rules. I did a lot worse than your daughter when I was a kid but I've turned out alright (I think).

I'd just find a better provision if you can.

No. She paid someone to act as an adult. They didn't. I agree with OP.

Yep, I find it very weird that they’d say an item is prohibited in the setting but then hand it straight back to her. Then exclude her for having it.

But didn’t the childminder also breach safe guarding by allowing your daughter to keep the phone? If it’s a safe guarding issue it needs to be dealt with immediately. I’d address that with her.

What was a seven year old doing with a mobile?

She took an old mobile without a sim that she'd been allowed to use as a dumb phone, without permission to take to school. Is that so hard to understand? She shouldn't have taken it to school but she did. She's 7, and 7 year olds do dumb shit. She's hardly the antichrist.

My (now 22 year old) twins did shit they shouldn't have done. They were "naughty", they required more parenting than my 15 year old. My twins got behaviour points at school. My 15 year old has never had even one behaviour point. Maybe I was a terrible parent to my twins (who are now doing a masters and fast track phd between them so have somehow survived my terrible parenting) and have learned how to be a better parent to my youngest. Or maybe all children are different?

Stop beating up mothers coming on here for advice. We can help each other or we can tear each other to shreds.

First all focus is on the phone, despite being told the issue is safeguarding.
Then you all focus on OP and her DD.

Nobody has considered the other child's experience, or their parents reaction. Probably one or both explain the exclusion of OP's DD to safeguard theirs.