Childcare excluded my child

[BrokenAndAfraid]

My child aged 7 sneaked a mobile phone in to school and from there into childcare. Of course I accept she was naughty and shouldn't have done it.
the childcare facility has now excluded my child - as she took a photo of another child - whist under there care.
They have said she had created a safeguarding issue.
She was caught by the staff and asked not to play on the phone, but they did not confiscate it. They handed it back to her. Older children have phones so this confused her. The phone has no sim and access to internet - it's used to play games.
AIBU to expect them to take responsibility for allowing a child to play with a phone? And then to exclude her with no prior warning?

I said YABU because you shouldn't be trying to push the responsibility away from yourself and your DD, and because she knew the rules and broke them. Others have already gone into the safeguarding implications and why it's so important that children don't just take photos of each other without permission.

Having said that, if you see it as a punishment (rather than as a neutral action that was necessary to take to remove a child who poses a threat to the smooth running of the club or the wellbeing or safety of other children), it does seem quite harsh, because it's a punishment for both the child and the child's family, with possible far-reaching implications for a parent's ability to earn a living and maintain a safe and healthy home environment.

Dont get me wrong, the OP is being ridiculous and her child should have done as shes told.

But I dont think a 7yr old took a photo maliciously or understands the consequences of safeguarding etc. To me a 'malicious' photo would mean the 7yr old deliberately intended to harm or cause harm which i doubt is true- sounds more like poor discipline and poor decision making.

Surely they could have had a very stern word with the OP and explained if it happened again it would result in expulsion.

Old enough to know better, the older kids had their phones? where? Thus wouldn’t be allowed at school at all. She’s old enough to be told
not to do something and not do it.

sadly she did create a safeguard issue, even if it wasn’t with intention. This has to be noted and referenced to show the school followed procedure. The childcare setting excluding the child is very much down to their discretion, but I’d wonder if there was more to it than this to result in exclusion- has there been any issues prior warning of exclusion?

This all sounds odd for an afterschool club: “facility” / “staff”.
But I searched your posts and a couple of weeks ago you were posting about a set-up than sounded much more like a childminder.
Cancelling a session on a strike day, own children there.
Which is more believable about older children being on phones - I didn’t believe that about an actual after school club or professional provision.
It sounds like it’s really shit childcare (the phones) and she just wants rid of your child. Possibly this isn’t the only bad behaviour?

What do you even mean by excluded? For a week as punishment, or permanent?

Sounds like a shit set up that you’re better off out of, but you also need to take some responsibility and address your child’s behaviour in taking the phone and using it.

I think their action seems very extreme for a first offence from a 7yr old.

Has there been other issues and that's maybe why theyve decided to be harsh

Oh wow! Some of these comments are going IN on you.
Blumming hell, her daughter is 7! She made a mistake and probably didn't think about the consequences.
Mum has stated the phone is not connected to the internet and is without a sim, so the photo could go no further.
It is a safeguarding issue.
I think the setting has been too extreme in their actions. If the child was seen with the phone, it should have been confiscated. Parents notified, potential warning? Child spoken to about not doing it again?
I think I'd challenge the setting OP. Maybe approach the parent of the child whose photo was taken, apologise directly. Get a vibe from them how they feel about it?

7 year olds shouldn't have phones, connected or otherwise.

She broke a school rule by taking it in. She broke a serious school rule by taking photos of other children.

She deserves the punishment.

AND a punishment from home!

I

I’m going to make a massive leap here…
and say the 7yo snuck her phone to the childminder’s because the childminder is shit (letting other older kids just sit on their phones) and she’s been bored rigid.
Just a theory!

@StaunchMomma “She broke a school rule by taking it in. She broke a serious school rule by taking photos of other children.”

I don’t think she took the photo anywhere near school - from another post, it’s a childminder not an afterschool club run by the school.

Sorry posted too soon, don't think the op is telling the full story here, from what I've heard, the child was temporarily excluded while the safeguarding investigation was going on, the photo was then requested to be deleted in which the op refused (and consequently a bit of conflict happened) which is why the child was then permanently excluded from the setting.

Care to comment op?

It’s your responsibility. Have you called them and suggested you check her bag every morning, they may let her back in? I’d also take the phone away completely, she’s 7 and has misused it. Give her your own phone to play on supervised or get her a games console

'Please put your phone away' should be enough! The phone shouldn't have to be confiscated. The child needs to listen and do what they're told!

What's the difference between a phone without a SIM and a tablet? My son had an old mobile when he was a lot younger than 7 so he could play Pokémon Go.

Even if she is bored is this an excuse for breaking rules and sneaking photos of another child?

Is this true OP?

👀👀👀

This is interesting!

I love these threads. Is there any way I can make it someone else's fault that I haven't got a clue what my child is doing please?

I work in an educational setting and a child taking a photo or videoing other children or staff is actually quite a serious safeguarding issue. A 7 year old does not need to bring a phone to school or childcare. You need to make sure she doesn't do it again.

I'm guessing you know about this IRL? Or I've missed something. 😅
Definitely makes it more clear cut than what the OP has said!

It doesn’t say the photo was taken in secret though
just that a photo was taken and the staff member caught her
They could’ve all been sitting in the same room or anything

OP I’d imagine the older kids parents have probably signed something with the facility that allows them to have phones provided they agree to adhere to a set of rules regarding their usage

The staff member probably didn’t think of confiscating the phone but maybe a manager or owner reviewed the events later and decided to stick to the zero tolerance policy regarding pictures being taken

Did your DD know that the other child wasn’t allowed to have their photo taken OP? By 7 they have usually worked out which children can’t.

if so, then you really need to make her understand how serious this is. it’s a very bad rule to have broken.

That sounds like an explanation as to how this escalated to exclusion.

Did I say it was an excuse?
Nope.
OP is choosing to send her child to a childminder that allows older children to use their phones.
That sounds like a bad decision.
I’m theorising on how that might have led to the child’s behaviour.
Doesn’t excuse it though 🤷🏻‍♀️