Boyfriend cancelled night away because he feels sick..aibu?

[songasongasing]

I booked a nice hotel a couple of hours away from home for tonight and paid for train fares as a little valentines treat.
Altogether cost around £250
It's been booked for a month.
Anyway it gets to today and he says "babe I feel so sick I can't go away -my back is aching and I've got a blocked nose"
Okay
So I say can we not just go -even if we just go to hotel and enjoy the room.
He refused
So that money is Wasted
Also I booked a bottomless brunch and the no show fee is £20

Anyway trains gone now so we have missed it
I'm in living room and he's watching tv in bed

Aibu to be annoyed ?

Sounds like he doesn’t fancy sitting on a train and in a hotel while he’s sick. Most people wouldn’t.

This! How old is he? Playing on computer games ffs! 🤦🏼‍♀️

All of us cab feel under the weather but if there is a booking in a hotel unless we are truly sick, we try to make the most of it.

He was obviously not sick enough to play FIFA which means that because he didn't spend his money, he was being blasé with yours.

Take it as a learning lesson.

Based on your most recent update, YANBU. It sounds like it’s a pattern of behaviour rather than an isolated situation. It just makes you feel like you are at the bottom of the priority list and even if he is genuinely too ill on this occasion it still grates.

I think you’re already fed up with lack of effort and this isn’t working for you. I’d probably start looking to call it quits now as I think you’ll find this resentment continues to build.

Yeah get him some proper hobby like cleaning while watching Eastenders, or whatever it is mumsnetters see as worthy relaxation time. 🙄

Shuffles back to her retro pc games and lemsip

@Applesandcarrots There's plenty more to do besides cleaning and playing games fgs! 🙄

What is worthy adult relaxation activity you approve of?

A blocked nose and his back aches - i’d be fuming, he’s hardly got the flu or a limb hanging off.

This. But also OP you can do these things alone. I get you might not fancy a bottomless brunch but a nice solo lunch at the same place they would probably have waived the £20 no show fee. Don't rely on someone else for your joy.

Sounds awesome to me to be honest. I would have been there in a shot

This.
All these saying "I'd love to go on my own" - the OP has said multiple times that she doesn't want to do this. Shock horror - everyone is different.

A little sniffle shouldn't stop him going though, he could lie in the hotel bed and feel sorry for himself, the wuss, then the OP could maybe enjoy the hotel and go for a wander round.

I don’t often get ill but when I get a cold once every 2/3 years or whatever it floors me for good couple of days. I’m a big snotty,headache and body achy, shattered mess. Presumably cos my immune system goes into over drive. I wouldn’t want to go either.

Not everyone gets a little sniffle that they can power through. Not everyone wants to go spread their virus all over the show either.

If I was op I’d have gone alone and mooched around and got takeaway or meal out with drinks in the room watching a film. Nice bath and relax. But I don’t mind my own company. Wouldn’t have done the brunch. Drinking at brunch doesn’t interest me with company nevermind alone .

Op doesn’t need him there to do that though. She would get more sleep than lying next to someone that’s sick and snotty.

Thats your choice then. If he's ill he's ill. You could've gone so not a complete waste

I wouldn't go if I felt too ill. I would be the judge of how well/ill I felt.
I would be trying hard to recoup some of the cost or gifting it to my friend, parents, sister, someone...
It's unfortunate 😕

Did you atleast try and phone the hotel and see if you could move the booking rather than loosing all the money? Some places will do it if they no they can resell the room. Same with the bottomless brunch.

He's fancied a FIFA night. If you have a bad cold coming on, gaming would make you feel worse. You wouldn't let a partner waste £250 (unless that's equivalent to a day's pay). You'd dose yourself up and go. You should be rethinking things.

Not necessarily. When I’ve had a bad virus coming on I’ve wanted to distract myself by doing stuff like gaming, especially if I’m stuffed up and struggling to sleep.

and no, I would not be pushing myself to have a weekend away knowing I’d end up feeling even more shit by the end of it. I wouldn’t expect my husband to put that expectation on me either, as I wouldn’t on him if the roles were reversed.

As this is the Valentine weekend, presumably the hotel and the brunch will be full of loved-up couples. The OP doesn't fancy sitting there alone like a lemon, and I for one don't blame her, I wouldn't do it either.

I'm sure a lot of couples would prefer not to catch valentines flu off OP's boyfriend too.

I have the feel from what’s you say that he has form for being unwell whenever it’s something he doesn’t want to do.

By staying with him you are enabling that behaviour. I bet he wouldn’t have liked you going alone and calling his bluff.

I would have gone and had a fabulous time by myself.

Well I'd be pissed off at his wimpery and lack of oomph. You say there's always something wrong with him. How boring, how drippy, how uninspiring, how lame. Not attractive to me. Next please.

@songasongasing Norovirus?
I have absolute empathy.
A cold?
Absolutely no excuse!
He sounds a wimp to not go because of a cold!

@pictoosh “Drippy” sums it up completely.
How bloody feeble of him to bale because of a cold!