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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Boyfriend cancelled night away because he feels sick..aibu?

310 replies

songasongasing · 11/02/2023 11:47

I booked a nice hotel a couple of hours away from home for tonight and paid for train fares as a little valentines treat.
Altogether cost around £250
It's been booked for a month.
Anyway it gets to today and he says "babe I feel so sick I can't go away -my back is aching and I've got a blocked nose"
Okay
So I say can we not just go -even if we just go to hotel and enjoy the room.
He refused
So that money is Wasted
Also I booked a bottomless brunch and the no show fee is £20

Anyway trains gone now so we have missed it
I'm in living room and he's watching tv in bed

Aibu to be annoyed ?

OP posts:

NumberTheory · 12/02/2023 08:45

Applesandcarrots · 12/02/2023 08:24

Going out while sick just to people please is not caring. Firstly, you spread it, secondly, you should care about your own body at that point and don't be a martyr to its detriment.

Again, everyone keeps saying it's minor sniffle but some people look like it's just minor sniffle but fuck me, inside we are dying.
Cold and flu and similar affect your heart, liver and lots of other important things.
People really just need to learn to sit the for day or two.

Maybe people should stop and think why UK has one of the biggest COPD mortality rates. COPD diagnoses are growing and also i believe second or third country in europe with number of COPD patients. Then i remember that you send young children into school with antibiotics and similar and this thread makes sense actually...

He can be a twat, but he isn't a twat for not going away when sick

Show quote history

The main causes of COPD are related to inhaling bad air (smoking, air pollution, etc.). Not going to a hotel by train when you have a mild cold. In fact mild to moderate exercise when you have a moderate cold is not associated with ill effects and can help prevent further colds by helping keep you physically fit.

Applesandcarrots · 12/02/2023 09:04

Exercise is often ok IF you don't have it on your chest. If it's just mild cold like stuffy nose and not much else. It's certainly not recommended if it's on your chest and below or if you have significant headache which is what lots of people get with cold.

stripedsox · 12/02/2023 17:08

Yabu, he's got man flu and we know how pathetic some men are with that.

PeanutButterSmoothie · 13/02/2023 00:11

stripedsox · 12/02/2023 17:08

Yabu, he's got man flu and we know how pathetic some men are with that.

Tbf though men take far less sick leave than women statistically so I think on the whole they're probably more inclined to tough it out.

Mamma2017 · 13/02/2023 02:14

Schnooze · 11/02/2023 12:33

I think his attitude towards it would be the main thing. If he was genuinely apologetic, offered to reimburse you at least half of it, or offered to rearrange another weekend, I’d be more likely to be ok about it. Given you’ve said he won’t offer, then I suspect he wasn’t really that sorry either.

What is the rest of your relationship like? Think about it? I suspect this is just the tip of the iceberg, unless he was really sorry and apologetic and bending over himself backwards to make it up to you?

Best comment so far. It’s his attitude the OP clearly sees this hence why she’s annoyed enough to post about this. If my partner had been so considerate to arrange & pay for all this I would go even with a “blocked nose” and if I really, really felt too unwell to be bothered I’d be so apologetic, offer to pay at least for my half & probably offer to arrange something once feeling better.
And My god people are so bloody precious on here about having a bit of a sniffle! He has a blocked nose & went to work with it! He’s not “ill “ Get a grip.

Mamma2017 · 13/02/2023 02:51

Mariposista · 11/02/2023 23:33

I'd have been absolutely furious. Unless he was puking his guts up, covered in blood or unconscious, he should have manned up. Selfish dick.

“Covered in blood” 🤣🤣🤣 brilliant! Iv just laughed out loud 👏🏼 and I completely agree with the comment

pictoosh · 13/02/2023 04:53

"My god people are so bloody precious on here about having a bit of a sniffle! He has a blocked nose & went to work with it! He’s not “ill “ Get a grip."

Yes indeed, so much earnestness and hand wringing over a blocked bloody nose.

He'd get a short shrift from me before I dumped him to make room in my life for someone who isn't a selfish, ungracious, wet fucking lettuce.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 13/02/2023 06:26

pictoosh · 13/02/2023 04:53

"My god people are so bloody precious on here about having a bit of a sniffle! He has a blocked nose & went to work with it! He’s not “ill “ Get a grip."

Yes indeed, so much earnestness and hand wringing over a blocked bloody nose.

He'd get a short shrift from me before I dumped him to make room in my life for someone who isn't a selfish, ungracious, wet fucking lettuce.

I suspect they'd be relieved tbh

I woke up with what I thought was a bit of a cold on Friday - duly dosed up on lemsip and carried on. I now have earache in both ears, my throat is raw, I've barely slept all weekend and I spent most of last night being sick.

For the first time in years I've had to call off work and I'm incredibly grateful my DH doesn't think I'm a "wet lettuce" for cancelling our plans yesterday

Canyoubelievethesepeople · 15/02/2023 00:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PeanutButterSmoothie · 16/02/2023 21:48