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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend cancelled night away because he feels sick..aibu?

310 replies

songasongasing · 11/02/2023 11:47

I booked a nice hotel a couple of hours away from home for tonight and paid for train fares as a little valentines treat.
Altogether cost around £250
It's been booked for a month.
Anyway it gets to today and he says "babe I feel so sick I can't go away -my back is aching and I've got a blocked nose"
Okay
So I say can we not just go -even if we just go to hotel and enjoy the room.
He refused
So that money is Wasted
Also I booked a bottomless brunch and the no show fee is £20

Anyway trains gone now so we have missed it
I'm in living room and he's watching tv in bed

Aibu to be annoyed ?

OP posts:
ReadtheReviews · 11/02/2023 11:57

Ah see it's not your thing. Very crap that he wont give you any money for it. Next thing you plan to do together, he pays entirely.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 11/02/2023 11:57

Those of you who think he should have sucked it up and gone

Any views on the poor sods on the train or cleaning the hotel room having to come in to contact with his virus?

SittingNextToIt · 11/02/2023 11:57

If you’re near surrey area I’ll happily go in your place as I’d love a night or two away and a bottomless brunch to myself.

Nimbostratus100 · 11/02/2023 11:57

songasongasing · 11/02/2023 11:53

I didn't really fancy going alone and just sitting in the hotel by myself or going for bottomless brunch on a Saturday alone. Pointless

well, its up to you, but personally, I d just go and make it fun on my own

Christmaspyjamas · 11/02/2023 11:58

Is he often sickly?

I think he's being rather pathetic however if this is the first time in years he has complained of being too sick to do something id be more sympathetic

Had he seemed to be looking forward to the trip in the last few days?

rogueone · 11/02/2023 11:58

So he doesn’t care about the money you have lost for a treat for you both. Is he someone who will book something similar in the future or is it you that makes all the effort and spends your money?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 11/02/2023 11:58

I'd have been off quick sharpish but I do like spending time alone. I'd not have done the bottomless brunch alone but everything else yes.

DestinysGrandchild · 11/02/2023 11:58

TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 11/02/2023 11:55

I'd LOVE a night away on my own!!

Same here!

Oysterbabe · 11/02/2023 11:59

He is being a baby and I'd be really annoyed. He should take some drugs and get on with it.

fellrunner85 · 11/02/2023 11:59

I'd have either gone on my own or taken my mum. Don't really understand these people who are scared of their own company.

BattleofBeamfleot · 11/02/2023 11:59

I'd have gone. Big bed to myself, have a bath, bring my ipad, bring a G&T up to the room and then binge watch all the stuff on Netflix he doesn't enjoy and I don't have alone time for usually.

I'd go for a refreshing morning swim if the hotel has a pool, then do the brunch too with a magazine or my phone, but probably not drink too much though since i'd have to get home after!

OP can you not get another train? I know you're not in the mood right now, but you might feel better NOT wasting all of the money! I'm jealous thinking of it...

Overthebow · 11/02/2023 12:00

Sounds like he just doesn’t want to go. Did you ask him if it was something he might like before booking it?

StarsSand · 11/02/2023 12:00

songasongasing · 11/02/2023 11:53

I didn't really fancy going alone and just sitting in the hotel by myself or going for bottomless brunch on a Saturday alone. Pointless

Those both sound amazing to me but then I have small children.

Sorry your weekend is ruined but I don't think it's fair to expect him to travel when he's feeling crap.

Skinnyunderneath · 11/02/2023 12:02

Yeah thats really shit, he doesnt sound too bothered about wasting all that money or disappointing you. Chalk it up to experience

GoodChat · 11/02/2023 12:02

I agree that it sounds like he just didn't want to go. Is he normally like this? Was he enthusiastic about the initial booking?

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 11/02/2023 12:03

I’d go on my own and love it

PotterLottery · 11/02/2023 12:03

I think that's really mean.

I'd have to be feeling so ill I couldn't even get out of bed to cancel a whole night away in the hotel. I don't think he really wants to go or he would try bit harder.

NightsThatStartWithWhiskey · 11/02/2023 12:04

If he’s not well, he’s not well. I don’t blame him not wanting to travel by train and be away from home. My partner and kids had a cold, then aches and all ended up being sick over the last couple of weeks. Sometimes you just feel too crap to be bothered with anything, even a paid for night away.

ANUsernamgh · 11/02/2023 12:05

Your argument that he was at work with it yesterday so it's not the flu is rubbish.

He may be exaggerating or he may have pushed himself yesterday when he was just starting to come down with it and we feeling worse today for doing so.

I'm just getting over Covid, the first day of symptoms I just had a sore throat and otherwise felt pretty ok, the next 3 or 4 days I felt horrendous and just getting off the sofa to get some toast felt like running a marathon.

I don't understand how people can have lived through the COVID pandemic and still not understand that the effects of a single virus can vary between people from asymptomatic all the way through to death. Just because you didn't feel that rough with your 'cold' doesn't mean he's up to a trip away.

WetBandits · 11/02/2023 12:05

user1497787065 · 11/02/2023 11:55

He sounds like a child wanting to skip school.

Or an adult phoning in sick - back ache, a runny nose and feeling sick don't usually go together.

I had flu over Christmas and these were three of my symptoms.

PinkFrogss · 11/02/2023 12:05

Is he funny about calling in sick to work? I’ve got a friend who at the slightest sense of illness will spend the weekend in bed resting so she doesn’t end up calling in sick to work the next week.

How long ago did you book it and how long has he known about it for?

Hoolihan · 11/02/2023 12:05

Shit of him. You should definitely go alone though! Enjoy the hotel at least.

Reinventinganna · 11/02/2023 12:06

You were a bit silly to not have just gone alone.

NightsThatStartWithWhiskey · 11/02/2023 12:06

PotterLottery · 11/02/2023 12:03

I think that's really mean.

I'd have to be feeling so ill I couldn't even get out of bed to cancel a whole night away in the hotel. I don't think he really wants to go or he would try bit harder.

If someone told me to ‘try a bit harder’ when I was in bed ill, they’d be told to fuck right off.

StarsSand · 11/02/2023 12:07

@BattleofBeamfleot agree!!

A hotel room to yourself is magical. When I travel for work I look forward to it all day.

Order room service, have a bath, do a face mask, sit around in a robe, watch TV, drink some overpriced wine, swim in the pool, hit the gym. Love it all.

OP you could book a massage and make it a spa weekend for yourself.

OP buy sone magazines and sit there reading them at brunch like a goddess of leisure.

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