Page 5 | Boyfriend cancelled night away because he feels sick..aibu?

songasongasing · 2023-02-11T11:47:02+00:00

I booked a nice hotel a couple of hours away from home for tonight and paid for train fares as a little valentines treat. Altogether cost around £250 It's been booked for a month. Anyway it gets to today and he says "babe I feel so sick I can't go away -my back is aching and I've got a blocked nose" Okay So I say can we not just go -even if we just go to hotel and enjoy the room. He refused So that money is Wasted Also I booked a bottomless brunch and the no show fee is £20 Anyway trains gone now so we have missed it I'm in living room and he's watching tv in bed Aibu to be annoyed ?

WimbyAce · 11/02/2023 12:30

I dunno, I feel hideous at the moment and the last thing I'd feel like doing is going on a train. Still in my pjs and sent oh to do the weekly shop.

Soakitup37 · 11/02/2023 12:31

I’d have gone alone, I’ve done a solo hotel trip before bloody brilliant! Been chasing that indulgence ever since. Would defo do it again.

you’ve cut your nose to spite your face here.

DestinysGrandchild · 11/02/2023 12:31

Not sure why the bloke is getting so much stick. He's not well. Most people don't want to do things when they're I'll. it's just awkward timing.

ImprobablePuffin · 11/02/2023 12:32

FGS he has a cold, he's not sick. Sounds like he belongs on a dressing gown of doom thread. How many times have you just carried on with a cold. He sounds a bit pathetic, either that or he didn't want to go for different reasons but a cold? Come on.

ImprobablePuffin · 11/02/2023 12:32

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 11/02/2023 11:57

Those of you who think he should have sucked it up and gone

Any views on the poor sods on the train or cleaning the hotel room having to come in to contact with his virus?

Do you not go anywhere if you have a 'blocked nose'?

Schnooze · 11/02/2023 12:33

I think his attitude towards it would be the main thing. If he was genuinely apologetic, offered to reimburse you at least half of it, or offered to rearrange another weekend, I’d be more likely to be ok about it. Given you’ve said he won’t offer, then I suspect he wasn’t really that sorry either.

What is the rest of your relationship like? Think about it? I suspect this is just the tip of the iceberg, unless he was really sorry and apologetic and bending over himself backwards to make it up to you?

Chooksnroses · 11/02/2023 12:34

I'd have gone by myself.

Gremlins101 · 11/02/2023 12:35

It all depends if it is an isolated incident or if he makes you feel bad regularly. I think only you can decide that. As someone who took six years to decide the latter about my ex, I'd say follow your gut. Someone can't help being ill though, if he really is ill.

chickbean · 11/02/2023 12:36

Has he done a Covid test? My first symptom was a bad back. Twenty-four hours later and I felt like I'd been run over by a truck. Probably a good job he didn't go on the train and pass it on to everyone else.

Wishimaywishimight · 11/02/2023 12:39

Seriously, some people are such wimps these days! It's a flipping cold, not pneumonia. Of course he could go if he really wanted to. There's another thread where a poster is considering not visiting her parents because she has a cold. Bonkers stuff! When did people become so delicate / unable to function because if a mere cold?

OP, I would be really annoyed. If my partner had booked a night away I would not allow such a thoughtful treat to go to waste because of a cold. As for those saying go alone, it's hardly the romantic treat OP had in mind.

Gymnopedie · 11/02/2023 12:39

Make a decision on how you feel about it after the weekend, based on how he's been. If he he's genuinely ill let him off. If he seems fine and decides tonight that he's well enough to go out with his mates (as a f'rinstance) have another think about the relationship.

But I'd also think about his other behaviour. Does he cancel or not agree to things you want to do but is always able to do what he wants? will he be apologetic about the weekend and suggest something else another weekend that he pays for, or will his attitude be that he doesn't care?

StarsSand · 11/02/2023 12:41

He's lying in bed, it's not like he's skipping around the house feeling fine.

A bad back and a blocked nose can be the start of Covid or the flu. Just as well he isn't spreading his germs on a train.

I would expect him to be apologetic. Not as in accepting he's in the wrong, but just expressing some disappointment and empathy for OP also missing out on the trip she planned.

OP is it too late for you to go alone? You might surprise yourself and love it. And if you are really mad at him, it's a good way to show him he can't rain on your parade.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 11/02/2023 12:43

I felt a bit under the weather yesterday and went to work.

I barely had any sleep last night and feel like shit today. If someone told me I had to take some lemsip, "power through" and go on a romantic weekend, I'd tell them to fuck off, quite frankly.

When you're ill, you just want your home comforts. Bed, sofa, rubbish TV and snacks if you feel upto it - not a hotel break, a bottomless brunch and a swim in a pool.

StarsSand · 11/02/2023 12:44

Wishimaywishimight · 11/02/2023 12:39

Seriously, some people are such wimps these days! It's a flipping cold, not pneumonia. Of course he could go if he really wanted to. There's another thread where a poster is considering not visiting her parents because she has a cold. Bonkers stuff! When did people become so delicate / unable to function because if a mere cold?

OP, I would be really annoyed. If my partner had booked a night away I would not allow such a thoughtful treat to go to waste because of a cold. As for those saying go alone, it's hardly the romantic treat OP had in mind.

🖐️ I don't want anyone visiting me with a self diagnosed cold. I don't want anyone sitting next to me on the train with a self diagnosed cold. I don't want my colleagues coming into work with a cold.

I don't want anyone's fucking cold thank you very much.

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 11/02/2023 12:44

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 11/02/2023 11:51

Oh come off it, he's sick!

Train journey and hotel when you just want to curl up in your own bed with your own home comforts? Are you really that bloody insensitive?

He’s not sick. He’s got a mild cold.

Livinghappy · 11/02/2023 12:44

@Schnooze Agree with thus.

Op I'm assuming you are posting because you believe he hasn't made the effort, rather than he is genuinely unwell to go. If this is the case then reflect on the relationship.

Oblomov23 · 11/02/2023 12:45

I would've gone.

2bazookas · 11/02/2023 12:46

You should have rounded up a girl friend and gone without him.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 11/02/2023 12:46

Wishimaywishimight · 11/02/2023 12:39

Seriously, some people are such wimps these days! It's a flipping cold, not pneumonia. Of course he could go if he really wanted to. There's another thread where a poster is considering not visiting her parents because she has a cold. Bonkers stuff! When did people become so delicate / unable to function because if a mere cold?

OP, I would be really annoyed. If my partner had booked a night away I would not allow such a thoughtful treat to go to waste because of a cold. As for those saying go alone, it's hardly the romantic treat OP had in mind.

There's colds and there's colds, though.

I've had colds where I can just take some paracetamol and get on with things - but other times I feel horrendous, nauseous and exhausted and just want to sleep.

Who do you (and OP) think you are to diagnose other people and tell them to just get on with it?

WimbyAce · 11/02/2023 12:46

chickbean · 11/02/2023 12:36

Has he done a Covid test? My first symptom was a bad back. Twenty-four hours later and I felt like I'd been run over by a truck. Probably a good job he didn't go on the train and pass it on to everyone else.

Yeah I had awful bad back with covid.

WimbyAce · 11/02/2023 12:47

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 11/02/2023 12:43

I felt a bit under the weather yesterday and went to work.

I barely had any sleep last night and feel like shit today. If someone told me I had to take some lemsip, "power through" and go on a romantic weekend, I'd tell them to fuck off, quite frankly.

When you're ill, you just want your home comforts. Bed, sofa, rubbish TV and snacks if you feel upto it - not a hotel break, a bottomless brunch and a swim in a pool.

Same.

Allblackeverythingalways · 11/02/2023 12:48

user1497787065 · 11/02/2023 11:56

He just doesn't want to go.

An ex pulled this all the time, always "sick" if we'd planned something and he'd decided he couldn't be arsed.
Tosser.
A cold isn't a good enough reason to cancel.

Tabitha888 · 11/02/2023 12:48

Don't be tight he's unwell! Should of gone with a mate

MindfulBear · 11/02/2023 12:50

He went to work like this but won't come with you for a weekend away?

Unless he is about to be really really unwell this would give me the ick.

Most loving / thoughtful / interested / respect boyfriends would power through with the assistance of nurofen. Unless they had a temperature of course.

He sounds flakey. If he was ill he wouldn't have gone to work, or he would have at least come home early.

If he was ill he would not be able to watch TV in bed. When my OH is unwell I know he is better (but hiding) when he turns the TV on in the bedroom!!!! So I turf him out to help sharpish.

He doesn't sound like he has shown enough concern about not being able to fulfill your plans or about the loss of all that £££.

Id have the ick and he would be gone within weeks, if not days!!!

HermioneHerman · 11/02/2023 12:50

BattleofBeamfleot · 11/02/2023 11:59

I'd have gone. Big bed to myself, have a bath, bring my ipad, bring a G&T up to the room and then binge watch all the stuff on Netflix he doesn't enjoy and I don't have alone time for usually.

I'd go for a refreshing morning swim if the hotel has a pool, then do the brunch too with a magazine or my phone, but probably not drink too much though since i'd have to get home after!

OP can you not get another train? I know you're not in the mood right now, but you might feel better NOT wasting all of the money! I'm jealous thinking of it...

All of this!