Boyfriend cancelled night away because he feels sick..aibu?

[songasongasing]

I booked a nice hotel a couple of hours away from home for tonight and paid for train fares as a little valentines treat.
Altogether cost around £250
It's been booked for a month.
Anyway it gets to today and he says "babe I feel so sick I can't go away -my back is aching and I've got a blocked nose"
Okay
So I say can we not just go -even if we just go to hotel and enjoy the room.
He refused
So that money is Wasted
Also I booked a bottomless brunch and the no show fee is £20

Anyway trains gone now so we have missed it
I'm in living room and he's watching tv in bed

Aibu to be annoyed ?

You might be able to get a refund for the unused train tickers- see the T&Cs.
Ditto the hotel is they can re-let the room.

How long have you been dating? Do you live together and share expenses?

It sounds a bit off to me.

YANBU, he could have taken some painkillers and powered through.

Why on earth don't you go yourself??
Be adventuresome. Surely a man isn't your whole world.

Bloody hell, what a waste, you should have gone!

A romantic weekend away is not something you should have to "dose up and power through" when you're feeling like shite.

Agree @Deathbyfluffy - 100%

I think it’s outrageous.

Not sure it’s a good sign for your relationship. Let him book a Valentine’s Day night. You’re making all the effort and on top of that, he lets you lose all that effort and money over a cold. He’s not the one. He’s not even a decent bf until you find the one. Drop him like a hot potato.

Are you the BF ?

I think that really depends if this is pretty 'standard' behaviour for him or 'not like him at all'.

If he regularly shows little respect for your time, money, effort - then he is being a twat who might have made an effort.

But If this is not like him, maybe he feels really ill.

Well no, OP decided not to go - it's her own choice to waste that time and effort.

I certainly would not dose myself up and go on a trip if I didn't feel well, Valentine's or not!

Why would you need childcare if he's at home sick?

yes I also don’t fancy doing that when Ill nor eating a load of food.
unfortunately I have no choice about going to work.
if I were off with every cold/sinus infection/bad chest I’d lose my job.

I think she means any friends she would ask would need to arrange childcare.

A night in a lovely hotel on your own with a bottomless brunch, versus a night with a snotty/whingey/sweaty/ partner?

Do yourself a favour and get the next train!

What a twat OP.

Why is childcare an issue?

Some of the responses on here! Jeez, why is a man worthy of being called a c*nt for being ill and not wanting to go away????!

A night in a hotel isn't everyone's cup of tea and I'm sure we've all had times where we just want to stay at home!

Yes, the op is disappointed but her boyfriend sounds like he's genuinely feeling shit and why should he dose up on neurofen and 'power through' just to appease someone else? The op has booked this trip - did she even consult her partner beforehand to check he would want to? Cos if she didn't then she needs to realise its maybe just not his cup of tea to get on a train for two hours simply to get to a hotel, especially if he's unwell.

Not to mention that there's still a pandemic going on and getting on a train when you're knowingly infectious is really quite selfish!

Such double standards on here it's unreal. No way would this rudeness be directed at a woman in this situation. Take a look at yourselves.

He can't help being ill. It's shit to blame him for your choice not to go by yourself. I think it's pretty feeble to feel you need to have a man with you to be able to enjoy a break at a nice hotel.

Seriously? End the whole relationship because he's had the audacity to be ill? This place is batshit sometimes.

When I feel ill the last thing I want to be doing is traveling. Feeling like shit and forcing myself through a ‘romantic’ break is not an attractive prospect at all tbh. I’d want to be in my own bed.

I don’t blame him for wanting to rest this weekend, especially if he has to power through the working week.

I wouldn't enjoy being away if I felt poorly, especially if it wasn't something I wanted to do overly. Does he enjoy this sort of thing usually or did you book as its something you enjoy? Not saying that's right, but nice to plan stuff together imo rather than spend loads on something the other person probably isn't arsed with.

Why are you spoiling and princessing this bloke who isn’t really bothered?

what does he do for you?

what’s your Valentine’s treat?

Am I broken because that sounds like heaven 🤣 I'd do have 2 preschool age kids maybe that's it

(However I will add the caveat to @songasongasing that if he does often let you down or doesn't value time with you or prioritise your needs/wants at least half the time as one should in a relationship, then he's not a good boyfriend/partner/whatever. You shouldn't be doing all the running. But if he's ill and doesn't feel up to going then that's certainly okay IMO. Disappointing, of course, but sometimes that's life.)

If I knew DH had spent £250 and considerable effort booking a weekend away, I'd have had to be very unwell to want to cancel it and him lose the money.

It's a bit thoughtless over a snuffle OP, and I'd be very hurt/let down by it.