To be horrified by these ‘baby boxes’?

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

This just came up on my newsfeed and I’m absolutely horrified by the whole concept of women abandoning their newborns in the US:

www.newschannel10.com/2023/02/10/newborn-surrendered-baby-box-installed-less-than-3-months-ago/?fbclid=IwAR1qz7BbrIeF390b6YXl4mAscw82cTvt-Bzwnp_LMaZMMCjBcpltEZGHav0#ldzrvrvoa7ecauugx04

Im NOT having a go at these women, and this is supposedly to prevent newborns being abandoned in unsafe places.

But surely the answer isn’t “Hey brand new mum with raging hormones, probably depression, who is tired, stressed and not thinking straight - put your baby here for a nice new family” - it should be about supporting mums with PND, improving practical support, healthcare and rights of new mothers and reproductive rights. Not just “Oh well you don’t feel OK today so probably best you don’t be a mum, here’s a little box to pop your baby in”.

My spidey senses were tingling so when I did a bit of further research, the woman who started these is, of course, fiercely anti abortion. So that’s what it’s all about. it’s about not allowing women their reproductive rights but making them go through a birth they don’t want, have the trauma of having a baby they don’t want but it’s OK, and the heartache of giving them away - no harm done ey 😡

Some women should never be mothers.

Well, clearly, but at least a woman coming in for an abortion is then under the care of health professionals who can counsel her, investigate motivations, check physical health, and make relevant referrals to social services, police, domestic violence charities, or whatever she needs.

It's very likely that a woman in a really bad situation will not be frank with the hcps who attend her. I think the assumption that this happens in the majority of cases is wishful thinking. Abuse has the effect on many women of driving them away from agencies offering help or refusing to engage with them even at the point where they could reach out.

The baby boxes contain a package for the mother, with legal information, the number for the 24 hour crisis line where counseling is available before the birth as well as after the baby is placed in the box. Also in the box is info on seeking medical help and what a woman can expect if she goes to a hospital.

Some women just want the whole business over with, for reasons that are unique to them but generally falling into the category of trying to maintain a semblance of control over their personal situations.

It's not a matter of abortion = support amd baby box = none.

Only if she comes in for one. Not if, as in a very large number of cases, she gets tablets prescribed to her after a phone call (which may be with her abuser in the room).

As a newborn, I was left in a cardboard box on an orphanage doorstep (Romania, 1980’s, contraception and abortion was illegal, so wasn’t uncommon).

I would rather any baby be left in a safe space than being dumped somewhere unsafe where their life would be put at risk.

YABU.

Poor you and your poor mother who probably had no choice. I hope you found a wonderful family.

I must be naive but I hadn't thought of that, it has made a shiver run down my spine. I hope any woman in that position gets help, it really is horrific to think of it.

These are babies that would have been abandoned due to poverty, addiction etc, probably in a non or a public toilet. This is a good thing and the babies are attended to immediately.
It's not a new thing by far and there are similar boxes around the world.

Wonderful response. I was adopted as a baby and if I had been placed in one of these boxes I would be very grateful and am glad so many people understand. We just don't live in a perfect world.

You obviously have no idea about how much poverty there is in the USA.
You are getting upset about the wrong thing.

In my home country they have "Baby windows". They were set up to help reduce infanticide.

The situation for women who are pregnant and can't keep the child (women without money that is) is a disaster. No abortion, no healthcare, no pill/IUD etc. It's OK if you can pay though. Watch out because this will be over here very soon.

These aren't in the UK as of yet, but they should be! Around 50 babies a year are abandoned in the UK every year!
Where are they left? Not in a warm, safe and trusting place like those in countries where they do have these life saving pro active boxes.

These boxes aren't for bad, and they certainly aren't for the likes of you to judge the obviously desperate mother. They do have time to reunite with their baby, they do offer help and services for any issues the mother may be facing. Unfortunately it's not so black and white and these are so needed, and it's a good thing they are available.
I'd much rather hear of a mother leaving her baby in a baby box rather than a cold, unsafe place where anything or anyone could find the poor baby.

It does make sense, I think, to provide a safe box for a baby to be left in. However, I was concerned by the sentence "“We know this infant was loved by their birth mother and will be quickly adopted by a family who has been eagerly awaiting a baby,”

In the UK, I believe when a baby is abandoned it is reported in the news with a statement like "the authorities are concerned that the mother may be in need of medical assistance and she is urged to make contact". Some mothers may need some emotional or practical support, and jumping straight to a statement about a quick adoption by a family eagerly awaiting a baby seems premature to me.

I also agree with headstronggirl's comment:

"You should be horrified that a large number of girls and women would be completely priced out of receiving mental health treatment in the US. You should be horrified at the ruling made by mostly old white males that these girls and women can’t access abortions." but I don't think the OP was being critical of the woman leaving the baby."

""the authorities are concerned that the mother may be in need of medical assistance and she is urged to make contact"
Vs loved i think it comes from, if you leave a baby in a winter in a park, there is very reasonable assumption that something is terribly wrong. However, if you seek a baby box and get some information about help, I would assume you are not bledding to death or having a breakdown in the toilets near to the aforementioned park.

They published some interesting stats on one of the EU countries who has them.
Most babies were put in on Mon, second on Tue and usually between 4pm and 7pm, February and December.

These boxes aren't for bad, and they certainly aren't for the likes of you to judge the obviously desperate mother

Nobody is judging the mother, we are judging a society that prefers this solution to the problem of abandoned babies, instead of more costly but kinder solutions of support for mothers in distress

But sometimes you cannot help even with the support. Going by how little they are used it is most likely cases where even support wouldn't make the mother keep it. Some women do not want to keep the babies for whatever reason but can't face the process. Some are in distress, yes.

This is not one or the other. This is not boxes vs support. Most countries have support, some have this options as well.

Frankly, being able to relinquish child safely and without pressure of "why don't you keep it? I am sure you will change your mind" is also a form of support of mother in bad situation...

Going by how little they are used it is most likely cases where even support wouldn't make the mother keep it

Why on earth should a mother be forced or convinced to keep an unwanted baby? But why is the alternative the secrecy of putting the baby in a box on the street?

Did you think this through? The alternative is the baby is left to die in an unsafe place.

we are judging a society that prefers this solution to the problem of abandoned babies, instead of more costly but kinder solutions of support for mothers in distress

@Coyoacan
There all sorts of costly and kind alternatives. There are social workers and MH professionals in schools. There are free maternity and early childhood healthcare programmes offered by individual states. There are private charities working to support mothers in crisis. There is welfare available - WIC and food stamps, and TANF.

There are women who do not want to engage with any of it, for reasons of their own.

The baby boxes are not a preferred solution by any stretch. They are there to provide a safe, warm place where babies may be placed so that their lives can be saved. They are strictly seen as an emergency resource, not the front line solution to a wider problem.

Well said Mathanxiety.

What about homeless pregnant women, and girls who have been abused and the baby is the result, women who have been raped, in denial that they are pregnant at all?! There’s so many reasons babies are left

The “concern for the mother” message may be what is broadcast, but in reality, if she comes forward in the UK she is likely to be arrested for child abandonment / endangerment. The boxes mean that the mother, if she does subsequently make herself known, isn’t criminalised.
The boxes are a decent solution to a problem (or multiple layers of problems) that we all wish didn’t exist. And I can unfortunately see scenarios in which the absolute best option for mum (living in the world we do) is being able to surrender the baby safely and anonymously.

@RosieTheDragon

Please stop repeating that 50 a year figure, that is not true at all.

I posted upthread info from the ONS showing that child abandonment is vanishingly rare in the UK - maybe 1 baby per year (none at all in the most recent years I found stats for.)

The appropriate response in those very rare cases is to see that there was a failure of pre/postnatal care or safeguarding, and to investigate. If the mother attended midwife appointments or hospital to give birth then risk factors should have been identified and support given. Or otherwise, the baby removed to foster care at birth. Social workers should be working amongst populations not presenting for medical care, eg the homeless.

This is what happens in the vast majority of cases in the UK, which is why babies are rarely abandoned, and we have no need of these baby boxes here.