FIL has messed up my front garden … AIBU?

[Rosieposey91]

FIL offered to do our front garden in our new house for us. Originally I wasn’t keen on the idea as he didn’t put my son’s bedroom furniture together very well. However with the cost of living it meant to have what we really wanted would take a good couple years to afford. I agreed to him doing some pebbles and fake plants etc and already started off on the wrong foot as he went against my wish for big pebbles and got smaller ‘tacky’ looking ones. He then let us pay for the paint as we wanted a darker grey colour despite saying it was all his treat. That’s not an issue but also has asked me to order the fake plants etc so isn’t ‘really’ treating us to it. Bearing in mind these things aren’t that expensive … then today he puts in some slabs that 1) don’t match our other slabs 2) weren’t what we agreed , we agreed concrete not slabs 3) are much larger than the slabs we have so look completely odd.

it was so awkward as my husband wasn’t here, so I just agreed that it would look ok when painted but inside I was thinking this looks so cheap and tacky and rushed.

I’ve told my partner and thankfully he fully agrees it looks rubbish.

now I’m stuck as to what to do, ask him to take the slabs up and let him carry on or just wait and save and get it done exactly how we want it. All along we have said no to him doing it and he kept insisting , I didn’t let the MIL be involved as last time she was stood on MY drive saying this will go here and we will have that there etc … they completely baby my husband but I won’t have them baby me, I’ve always been independent and my parents have let me have my own mind etc.

AIBU?

I think I’d leave your fil to get on with it at the moment as long as he doesn’t go completely against your ideas and it’ll get him off your back, but then as and when you can afford it I’d replace the plastic ball plants with real box hedge plants and succulents that look better, are slow growing, and don’t need that much maintenance.
Ignore other comments about it looking tacky as long as you don’t mind it for now is all that matters.
It doesn’t look that bad and it probably looks a lot better than the mud.
You can replace things slowly bit by bit and get someone else other than your fil to the work.
Alternatively you can put your foot down now and get him to do everything just as you want it as it seems that you’re paying for a lot of it yourselves anyway.

🙄🙄🙄

Yes you CAN have real plants - you just don't care and you're lazy. Do a little research and you'll find lots of no-maintenance plants that don't even need watering.

Resin drives are just as bad, as they will shed microplastics. At least they could be made to be permeable, although many just have a layer of concrete underneath.

Also please explain how having a hybrid car will increase the biodiversity in your garden and provide habitats for insects and animals?

You don’t know me! So brave behind a keyboard with the insults it’s hilarious

@Dguu6u - you are jolly full of yourself aren't you? Do a little research?
"Please explain..." No, fuck off.

Don't take it personally OP, like you say we don't know you.
I don't like your style of garden either tbh but I'm not going to have a go at you because I realise you have your own reasons and priorities when it comes to organising your life. I won't say you're lazy or careless or preach at you. I've got no business doing that.

😂😂😂

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That’s what we do every couple of years in our front garden. We have lovely wild flowers that almost no work.

I’d make the best of it, op. Frustrating that Fil offered to do your garden for you but then did it for him instead! But, at least it’ll be usable and when you’re in a position to do it properly, you’ll have lived with it for a bit and you’ll know exactly what you want.
ps, fake plants do not last well outside and will wind up costing you far, far more than real ones.

You'd be mad to put down concrete especially if this is something you plan to change.

At least slabs can be lifted easily. Concrete you'll have to use a hammer drill and hire a skip. Slabs you can offer reuse or give away to go under a shed.

It sounds like a complete lack of communication here. I assumed you meant he offered his labour but it seems he is buying the stuff as well which is where it becomes a bit tricky. You can't really complain about what he has bought. It would have been much better to buy the supplies yourself and tell him what you want. If you can't afford that they you probably have to accept what he has bought.

They do look awful.

Why not get real ones? Outside plants like that tend to look after themselves anyway.

I think the issue here is you’ve described what your fil has done as tacky, and then taken the hump when folks have said what you want is tacky. It’s like you can give it not take it

as said, there is absolutely no reason you can’t have Real plants. Plenty are slow growing, low maintenance, ever green, I love palms, camellias, and cordylines when looking for something like this, but they are more a feature, and there are plenty of low maintenance shrubs. Buxus, rhe fake one you’re putting in, likely the most low maintenance of all.

if your parents have a nice garden why don’t you ask their advice. Some nice natural pea gravel round your plants will work well. I can’t comment on thr painted concrete. Painting concrete is something you usually do when you’ve concrete in place and can’t afford to get something nice down instead, it’s not usually done on purpose first off.

Yep, pretty much a large litter tray - my little old boy doesn’t like going for walks in the winter and it’s useful if he needs to pee in the night.

Could you offer some insight? We aren’t putting concrete down on the whole driveway. Basically we are keeping the slabs but want a tiny area covered so that when I pull out my drive I don’t run over and pull up the slabs (which I have done in the past)

hard to explain! Any suggestions what to use ?

I have actually looked into potted plants but I think most of them need watering even if outside. And the option to plant them has gone as FIL has put stuff down to stop anything growing through the pebbles. I would actually like to have planted some flowers but he did this without asking as probably wanted to make life easier for himself. I did also look into a wooden planter but I’m not sure it will look right with the pebbles.

if anyone wants to advise which plants are low maintenance in pots I may actually get some

I have a tiny area of mud under a REAL cornifer but was planning on putting pebbles underneath. I don’t know if a line of some plants would look nice or which to plant there to add a little colour.

I hate my neighbours astro-turf and concreted over front garden.
There's issues with flooding.

I also found it hilarious when they tried to object to me pruning my flowering trees and shrubs that overhang all of our fence. Apparently, I could leave their side alone as it's beautiful (agree! Hence the pruning - I want the pretty plants on MY side) and they're concerned about "privacy". Lol!
And off they went to hoover their lawn.

@Rosieposey91 succulents and alpines are pretty low maintenance for pots and look good against a gravel background. They need some watering in the summer but everything will. You could also go for a few ferns for evergreen interest - clustered together they look amazing. Lavender is another good one and again against gravel...also rosemary. Bulbs.
Sorry you've had such a hard time on this thread :(

You can get gel nuggets that you can mix in with compost which help pots to retain water. Once planted, stop the soil with mulch (woodchip or grit) and that will help protect the soil too. Leave an inch free below the rim so that water doesn't splash straight out.
Everything will need a bit more tlc when it's getting established the first year.
You can also plant up annuals yearly for seasonal interest (and pansies are always resilient)

Oh and choose woodland style planting under your conifer - think a couple of artfully placed ferns, lots of bulbs for spring - bluebells, snowdrops and crocus. Scatter the bulbs and plant where they land for a naturalistic look.

If you do find you end up with flooding you can dig in some drainage without too much difficulty.

My neighbour has a bird bath and a buddha on some bark chips.

Thank you SO much this is so helpful

@Rosieposey91 How do you pull out your drive? Is it on wheels?

You are letting them baby both of you by agreeing to FIL doing the work. Say no, mean it, save up and get it done or do it yourselves then problem sorted.

just to add, pick the right plant for the right spot.
so if your drive is a sunny spot, lavender and Mediterranean type plants will do well. If it’s a shadier spot ferns will do better.

rhs plant finder is great for it, they have tick boxes.

it will look lovely planted up with either style contrasting against the stones.

www.rhs.org.uk/plants/search-form