FIL has messed up my front garden … AIBU?

[Rosieposey91]

FIL offered to do our front garden in our new house for us. Originally I wasn’t keen on the idea as he didn’t put my son’s bedroom furniture together very well. However with the cost of living it meant to have what we really wanted would take a good couple years to afford. I agreed to him doing some pebbles and fake plants etc and already started off on the wrong foot as he went against my wish for big pebbles and got smaller ‘tacky’ looking ones. He then let us pay for the paint as we wanted a darker grey colour despite saying it was all his treat. That’s not an issue but also has asked me to order the fake plants etc so isn’t ‘really’ treating us to it. Bearing in mind these things aren’t that expensive … then today he puts in some slabs that 1) don’t match our other slabs 2) weren’t what we agreed , we agreed concrete not slabs 3) are much larger than the slabs we have so look completely odd.

it was so awkward as my husband wasn’t here, so I just agreed that it would look ok when painted but inside I was thinking this looks so cheap and tacky and rushed.

I’ve told my partner and thankfully he fully agrees it looks rubbish.

now I’m stuck as to what to do, ask him to take the slabs up and let him carry on or just wait and save and get it done exactly how we want it. All along we have said no to him doing it and he kept insisting , I didn’t let the MIL be involved as last time she was stood on MY drive saying this will go here and we will have that there etc … they completely baby my husband but I won’t have them baby me, I’ve always been independent and my parents have let me have my own mind etc.

AIBU?

It also won’t be that low maintenance, it will need weeding, replacing and maintaining.

I saw Astro turf deodoriser and anti bacterial cleaner today, that’s when I realised we are fucked.

Astro turf deodoriser and anti bacterial cleaner...how bloody joyless is that? I despair.

How bad does it smell if deodoriser is necessary 😭

Absolutely nothing wrong with fake topiary bushes. I have both and tbh you can’t tell the difference! Fake grass however, is shit!

Ok advice….you have to be honest with him and either stand your ground for him to change it or tell him to stop. Gardens are expensive to do. If you wana do it cheaper I would get your DH to do it. He might not be a DIY man, mine wasn’t but he soon learnt when he realised it would cost us 4K instead of 15k! Go on Instagram home accounts there’s lots of inspiration.

And this ladies and gentlemen is why the planet is doomed.

I don't have kids or skin in the game, but for those of you that do I extend my apologies and sympathies on behalf of @Emmamoo89

If the OP was really skint or lacking in time, she could chuck down a £5 packet of wild meadow seeds.

When I had babies and toddlers, I just had weeds. lol

I was being deadly serious, I don’t have any interest in saving the planet through trees, I do however have a great interest in saving myself £100 a month on a gardener coming to cut my grass weed my garden and trim bushes which I can’t do myself because of poor health since a stroke. AstroTurf fake plants and upvc fencing and decking would allow me to save money every month £1200 per year and have a nice garden I can actually use safely and maintain. I don’t care how it affects others or makes them feel as long as I like it and I’m happy

If people can't maintain a garden, look into rewilding (obviously more limited in the cities and suburbs). Great explanation for anyone wondering about my weeds. ;-)

Agree!
We got some topiary balls in pots donkeys ago. I maybe water the and feed them once a year when I remember and they rarely need a trim, again maybe once a year? It’s quite soothing to do.
they are super easy to look after. If it gets too hot and dry, I just move them.
plastic ones will need replacing and end up dearer. IMO.
Good luck!

Absolutely nothing wrong with that! They were alive, growing and pollinating.

It’s for the dog loos that have artificial turf in them.

I can't get my head around why FIL was involved, he must have been told about the grave pebbles and plastic plants.
I dont think the OP would have had so much negativity if she hadn't been so snobby in her OP.

Oh god that must stink to high heaven

Do you mean concrete slabs? Don’t put poured concrete down, that’ll be a bugger to break up to replace with resin.

Use the slabs spaced out I.e not joined together. Laid on just sand will be better than cemented in as temporary. Fill in the gaps with pebbles. You can have more pebbles than slabs or vice versa.
www.paving.org/index.php/how-to-lay-stepping-stones-on-gravel/

Or swap the slabs for wood , lay as in across the path, again on sand. Fill in surround with pebbles. www.gardening-naturally.com/rail-road-stepping-stones?ps=MjQwPTY5NQ==&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIireTr8iJ_QIViY1oCR1AJgA7EAQYASABEgIOUfD_BwE#240=695
As pp said plant grasses, minimal maintenance, just a bit of water if it’s dry.

Neither can I.

The OP has already explained that she has a heart condition, had it not occurred to any of you that maybe she doesn’t want to explain that she’s immunocompromised and can’t be exposed to gardening. I can’t, digging around in soil is a really good way to get pseudomonas, last time I had that it took over a year to get rid of it.

So much rudeness on here, I thought this was supposed to be a supportive place.

They do, they’re disgusting and impossible to keep clean. Someone suggested using old towels in mine so that’s what I do, mask up, gloves on and change it daily. Towel goes in on its own on a 60° wash.

Is he? He's tried. Op sounds ungrateful and tasteless

No.

If you were the ONLY alone with them, fine. But you’re not - just one of many. They should be banned along with fake grass. And concrete gardens.

This is x 100 times the work of anything else.

I think on this occasion I would let him finish. In future get your DH to have a word so that this doesn’t happen again. I mean when he next insists on helping your DH needs to kindly let him know that it’s okay dad and we will sort it. In the meantime save up for what you intended.

It doesn’t.

What is? Cleaning a towel daily? How else am I supposed to get my dog to go to the loo when I live in a flat and he won’t go out if it’s raining, or if I’m not well enough? He’s small and very old, just wants to lie in the window in the sun and watch the world go by, towel in the dog loo is both convenient and hygienic.

Jeez, I feel quite sorry for the OP here.

In relation to your question, you have to learn to say no. Regardless to how overbearing / they know best / doing you a favour, get ready to have a stock of answers to knock them back. "Thanks for the offer but I am looking forward to trying this myself" "It's all in hand, but thanks for offering".
I have an overbearing Father in law who claimed to be brilliant at tiling and insisted he could save us money. I knew no better at the time... cost us hundreds to rectify.

In my experience, the more you turn away the offers of help, the less the offers come.

Good luck, and I hope you get your garden looking the way you and your partner had envisioned.

Sorry we were talking about fake grass? I thought you mean you cleaned the fake grass with a towel??? The previous post was about deodoriser for fake grass?

I was going to say the same thing, astroturf and grey paint sounds familiar!