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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FIL has messed up my front garden … AIBU?

234 replies

Rosieposey91 · 09/02/2023 20:40

FIL offered to do our front garden in our new house for us. Originally I wasn’t keen on the idea as he didn’t put my son’s bedroom furniture together very well. However with the cost of living it meant to have what we really wanted would take a good couple years to afford. I agreed to him doing some pebbles and fake plants etc and already started off on the wrong foot as he went against my wish for big pebbles and got smaller ‘tacky’ looking ones. He then let us pay for the paint as we wanted a darker grey colour despite saying it was all his treat. That’s not an issue but also has asked me to order the fake plants etc so isn’t ‘really’ treating us to it. Bearing in mind these things aren’t that expensive … then today he puts in some slabs that 1) don’t match our other slabs 2) weren’t what we agreed , we agreed concrete not slabs 3) are much larger than the slabs we have so look completely odd.

it was so awkward as my husband wasn’t here, so I just agreed that it would look ok when painted but inside I was thinking this looks so cheap and tacky and rushed.

I’ve told my partner and thankfully he fully agrees it looks rubbish.

now I’m stuck as to what to do, ask him to take the slabs up and let him carry on or just wait and save and get it done exactly how we want it. All along we have said no to him doing it and he kept insisting , I didn’t let the MIL be involved as last time she was stood on MY drive saying this will go here and we will have that there etc … they completely baby my husband but I won’t have them baby me, I’ve always been independent and my parents have let me have my own mind etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
LakieLady · 09/02/2023 20:42

YABVU for having fake plants.

Oxtersftw · 09/02/2023 20:46

Fake plants? That sounds more 'tacky' than any of the other issues.

Original poster
Rosieposey91 · 09/02/2023 20:47

Ha ha I don’t get the time to look after plants and my partner will never remember so it is just easier for us. They aren’t fake plants tbh just little topiary shrubs to make the pebbles look less boring.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rosieposey91 · 09/02/2023 20:47

They aren’t fake plants!! Just little topiary balls that’s all :)

OP posts:
growgrowinggrown · 09/02/2023 20:48

Pebbles, concrete and fake plants sounds miserable to begin with so I'd leave him to it and save up for a proper garden to be done at a later date.

JizzlordTheCat · 09/02/2023 20:49

If you’re conscious of things looking “tacky” but insist on fake plants, maybe leave it to the FIL and see if he’ll incorporate some taste?

Do you have fake grass too?

Testina · 09/02/2023 20:49

You have let him baby you though.

Also: fake plants.

RichPetunia · 09/02/2023 20:50

Please post a picture..,

wanttoshareyouropinion · 09/02/2023 20:50

I agreed to him doing some pebbles and fake plants etc

So are they fake plants, or topiary balls?

We need to know.

mrsbyers · 09/02/2023 20:51

What are you painting ? If you’re painting slabs it will last one summer max

Original poster
Rosieposey91 · 09/02/2023 20:51

Yes we want a Resin drive eventually , I haven’t explained it very well but no one is actually answering my question :(

we have a driveway but the path to my door we are having done. Not the full driveway. So some pebbles/slates where the mud is next to the pathway. With a few topiary balls and floor lights and then some decking around this. Painting the slabs a dark grey and making the most of it until we can afford Resin.

it looks better than it sounds, well it would if FIL didn’t go against our wishes

OP posts:
Original poster
Rosieposey91 · 09/02/2023 20:52

They are topiary balls , I just called them fake plants!!

OP posts:
TheFlis12345 · 09/02/2023 20:53

Oh god those topiary plastic things are worse than fake plants! Our house had them when we moved in and they were gone within 48 hours of getting the keys!

JimHensonWasAGenius · 09/02/2023 20:54

Are they those hideous plastic balls that fade in the sunlight and look chavvy AF?

PermanentTemporary · 09/02/2023 20:55

I'd just ask him to stop, then wait and save up.

Write down somewhere 'it wasn't worth it' just to remind yourself that gifts always come with strings that trip you up.

I have a [lovely] FIL who is keen to be generous and it can take some working around.

Original poster
Rosieposey91 · 09/02/2023 20:55

What ever happened to ‘be kind’ the comments on here are so snobby!!

below is the image of what I am referring to.

FIL has messed up my front garden … AIBU?
OP posts:
ItsCalledAConversation · 09/02/2023 20:55

YABU for the fake plants. Also if you care this much and want it just so, and it’s just a case of throwing down some pebbles and fake plants, why not do it yourself? How hard can it be, a weekend’s work tops AND you wouldn’t have to put up with your in-laws.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 09/02/2023 20:57

Take them up and say they got stolen. My fil was the same. Offered to fix our toilet cistern... Dropped a hammer on and smashed it. He didn't offer to replace it either.. Insisted he replace a broken floor tile. Then broke the surrounding ones trying to get it up. List is endless.
Best one was blocked sink. Unblocked it...poured the gunk down the sink without pipes replaced.. Big smelly mess.
All jobs I was more than happy to do myself..

JizzlordTheCat · 09/02/2023 20:57

Rosieposey91 · 09/02/2023 20:47

They aren’t fake plants!! Just little topiary balls that’s all :)

Oh sorry. It’s just when you said “fake plants”, many of us assumed your meant plants that were fake.

Can see now from your picture of artificial plants that we were wrong.

Jojo19834 · 09/02/2023 20:57

OP you are getting a hard time! The picture doesn’t look that bad! Hopefully there will be some useful comments soon!

DashboardConfessional · 09/02/2023 20:57

What ever happened to ‘be kind’

It went in the bin along with other hashtags designed to shut women up.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 09/02/2023 20:58

OP, I think it sounds more like the gift is the effort and man power of what he is doing rather than him supplying all the raw materials. He's still saved you a lot of money and I'm assuming if he didn't do this for you then you'd just have mud until you found time or saved up?

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 09/02/2023 20:59

Also, why did he put together your kids furniture?
If you aren't happy with his work, do it yourself

DashboardConfessional · 09/02/2023 20:59

Anyway, re: FiL, I'd just let him do it now and save up. The time to stop him was when the first "wrong" thing was put down.

Marinegreen87 · 09/02/2023 21:01

Some horrible bitchy comments on here tonight

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