FIL has messed up my front garden … AIBU?

[Rosieposey91]

FIL offered to do our front garden in our new house for us. Originally I wasn’t keen on the idea as he didn’t put my son’s bedroom furniture together very well. However with the cost of living it meant to have what we really wanted would take a good couple years to afford. I agreed to him doing some pebbles and fake plants etc and already started off on the wrong foot as he went against my wish for big pebbles and got smaller ‘tacky’ looking ones. He then let us pay for the paint as we wanted a darker grey colour despite saying it was all his treat. That’s not an issue but also has asked me to order the fake plants etc so isn’t ‘really’ treating us to it. Bearing in mind these things aren’t that expensive … then today he puts in some slabs that 1) don’t match our other slabs 2) weren’t what we agreed , we agreed concrete not slabs 3) are much larger than the slabs we have so look completely odd.

it was so awkward as my husband wasn’t here, so I just agreed that it would look ok when painted but inside I was thinking this looks so cheap and tacky and rushed.

I’ve told my partner and thankfully he fully agrees it looks rubbish.

now I’m stuck as to what to do, ask him to take the slabs up and let him carry on or just wait and save and get it done exactly how we want it. All along we have said no to him doing it and he kept insisting , I didn’t let the MIL be involved as last time she was stood on MY drive saying this will go here and we will have that there etc … they completely baby my husband but I won’t have them baby me, I’ve always been independent and my parents have let me have my own mind etc.

AIBU?

Oh god no, artificial grass lasted a week then got binned. I put old towels down in the dog loo instead, no smells and easy to clean. Also much nicer for my neighbours in the summer.

Don't people pay £££ to send their kids to forest school? Do the gardening as an activity with them op.

But OP if you actually love gardens and real flowers you do realise it doesn't have to be labour intensive? In the simplest version, you could just do a strip of wildflower meadow. Just put down some decent ground, get a bag of seeds and scatter it all over. Boom, done. Even better if interspersed with the lavender bushes mentioned by pp. I'd wager it's less work than those slabs and pebbles, because you won't really have to bother with weeding.

YANBU but the garden sounds tacky either way

It isn't a garden. It has nothing in common with a garden. It's tacky, environmentally damaging and pointless.

The plant you desire is called Hebe Emerald Gem.

A perfectly compact green ball requiring no pruning, no watering, and exactly zero of your time.

My gift to you 👌

I have to agree, it's going to look shit anyway so just leave and then get a professional in to sort it later.

It starts and ends somewhere so you are, I'm sorry to say, part of the problem.

And there are so many low/no maintenance plants there is no reason. Or just have the pebbles. (I'm assuming they're real?)

This

@Rosieposey91

We moved house shortly after DS was born. I got quite stressed about all the things I wanted to change. I’ve stopped ‘seeing’ all the issues now - and try to focus my energy more on the children.

I’d probably just thank your FIL, and show faux gratitude to save his feelings - and resolve never to let him let him loose again! Live with the front garden, try and add a few things to improve - and change it when you can afford.

Bearing in mind these things aren’t that expensive … then today he puts in some slabs that 1) don’t match our other slabs 2) weren’t what we agreed , we agreed concrete not slabs 3) are much larger than the slabs we have so look completely odd.
Could you ask him to rearrange the slabs, make a pattern of the 2 different sizes so it doesn't look so odd?

It's not nice when someone offers to do something for you the way YOU want it, and then turns around and either does it they way THEY want it or just does it with no care so it looks awful.

Glad he's going to change the slabs. I think you might have to micromanage the purchasing of any parts because it doesn't my sound as though he cares enough to listen to what you want.

And ignore everyone re the fake plants. Yes, it would be nice to have some real plants. If you can't garden maybe one day you could afford to get a gardener in to look after some real plants. Until then enjoy your garden as it is!

No bitchiness intended op but I'm a little confused and would like clarification: are you topiary balls made of plastic or are they actually living plants?

Cards on the table I'm not a fan of fake greenery - fake grass and AstroTurf I can understand in some circumstances but plastic plants outside do blow my mind a wee bit lol

Anyway, personal preferences aside, while yabu if you are choosing fake greenery, yanbu about your father in law. At all. And I do feel for you having to deal with him and your disappointed alongside. It sounds like you're making the best of things though!

Fake plants?!!
No.

Just put in some low maintenance plants!

This is insane.

This is so bad for the environment, you're making your patch of the earth uninhabitable for insects etc.

If you don't want to garden there are so many better and cheaper options than what you have planned.

This place is like a cactus sometimes. Full of pricks.

OP... I think it looks lovely x

Sorry but I think you are totally unreasonable to use concrete and fake plants.

I would like a pebbly minimalist garden. It is hard work, and was very nice of him to want to help. I would not want to insult his efforts, so would just make the best of it and as time goes on you can have it tweaked to perfection. Which sounds like what you are doing. Awkward though when it is a fil. Easier to tell ones own dp than telling inlaws!

Having no plants is a better option than having fake plants.

Two issues:

Your father-in-law wants to be appreciated for doing things for you, but doesn't do them to your liking. The options are to either say 'no thanks', or to put up with it.

Plastic plants and a proposed plastic driveway are horrible for the environment and look ghastly, cheap and tacky.

There are plenty of very low maintenance plants out there that could be so much better and actually look and smell good. Why not have father-in-law involved in a bit of digging and planting real plants instead? It's hard to mess up and is infinitely more classy than Poundland green plastic.

Also, please reconsider getting a plastic resin drive. Those things are a nightmare.

Just popping in to say I like the topiary balls you posted and I don’t care about fake plants at all. 😁

grey,fake grass,be kind... mrs hinch is that you?

You're giving off school bully vibes 🤑

Pmsl! I was the one sticking up for the OP! And I’m an extremely keen gardener!!

I am in an area where fake grass and back garden developments are rife.

there’s quite a few houses now who have done away with their gardens either for new buildings or Astro turf. Do you know what, all that heavy rain, great big puddles outside or run off to the lowest point. I’ve had conversations with the owners “well it’s terrible now isn’t it, look at all the puddles, never used to be like that”

because of what YOUVE done.

we don’t live in isolation, either as a species or as a neighbour. Our choices affect so many people and creatures, which again affects us. We live in the most environmentally and bio diverse depleted country in the world, we’ve done that.