FIL has messed up my front garden … AIBU?

[Rosieposey91]

FIL offered to do our front garden in our new house for us. Originally I wasn’t keen on the idea as he didn’t put my son’s bedroom furniture together very well. However with the cost of living it meant to have what we really wanted would take a good couple years to afford. I agreed to him doing some pebbles and fake plants etc and already started off on the wrong foot as he went against my wish for big pebbles and got smaller ‘tacky’ looking ones. He then let us pay for the paint as we wanted a darker grey colour despite saying it was all his treat. That’s not an issue but also has asked me to order the fake plants etc so isn’t ‘really’ treating us to it. Bearing in mind these things aren’t that expensive … then today he puts in some slabs that 1) don’t match our other slabs 2) weren’t what we agreed , we agreed concrete not slabs 3) are much larger than the slabs we have so look completely odd.

it was so awkward as my husband wasn’t here, so I just agreed that it would look ok when painted but inside I was thinking this looks so cheap and tacky and rushed.

I’ve told my partner and thankfully he fully agrees it looks rubbish.

now I’m stuck as to what to do, ask him to take the slabs up and let him carry on or just wait and save and get it done exactly how we want it. All along we have said no to him doing it and he kept insisting , I didn’t let the MIL be involved as last time she was stood on MY drive saying this will go here and we will have that there etc … they completely baby my husband but I won’t have them baby me, I’ve always been independent and my parents have let me have my own mind etc.

AIBU?

Side note, but I only ever see this take on "Be kind" on Mumsnet and I don't get it. The "Be kind" movement is more about online bullying/considering what other people might be going through behind the scenes/concern for mental health, and is not meant to be specific to women.

Indeed.

Lol.

You posted. You have to accept that other people value proper living gardens as opposed to a hymn to bad taste. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thank him and say you want to do it yourself. Great opportunity to learn and you might enjoy it and feel good about yourself.

Essentially you have someone inept doing a job as a "favour". You cant be any worse and it empowering not to rely on someone useless because he is a man and should be able to do it.

@Rosieposey91 you're very welcome

In terms of keeping costs down, search fb marketplace and local fb community and gardening groups. Lots of people have extra that they sell on.

It's also easy and cheap to grow from seed on a windowsill.

Garden centre sales are also good but you'll be buying at the end of the plants showy period so may have to wait until the next one to see it in its glory. Eg bulbs may not come up til next year

As suggested, Lavender would have been good. Blueish foliage and purple flowers, so they'd look good against grey. All pollinators love them. If you have a local garden center, the bee or butterfly symbol is on the annuals (for pots). Pots do need watering often, the lavender in the ground wouldn't have. A Buddeleia shrub in a pot looks good, flowers all summer and again the pollinators love them.

Your photo is very nice. Very manicured.

Good luck with your FiL. Is he bored? Buy him “The Big Book of Hobbies,” or whatever it’s called. Maybe he’ll latch onto something that doesn’t involve putting furniture together or messing up front gardens.

@Rosieposey91

Get a Bottle Palm. Up against the house they can withstand the cold and they don’t need watering except once a month or every six weeks. They’re inexpensive.
My bottle palm was in a 10-inch pot in 1979 and now it’s in a 4-foot pot, but it could be in a much smaller one. It’s tall but they grow up - not out.
I’m really proud. It’s 43 years old.