To feel unsafe as a woman nearly all the time

[mammatilly]

I feel unsafe walking in rural areas
I feel unsafe walking at dusk/night
I feel unsafe home alone
I feel unsafe driving alone
I feel unsafe around male police officers
I feel unsafe around men

Our justice system is completely failing women in rape and domestic violence cases and is giving green light to men who wish to act violently

This patriarchal society is creating an Afghanistan style life for many women

I dont feel like this at all op.

I have suffered abuse from a small number of boys and men in my life but I have been utterly tormented and abused by girls and women for most of my life if I'm honest.
Bullied and beaten at all girls schools from 4years old til I left at 17.
My sister tormented me my entire childhood and I to adulthood, used me, told lies about me and physically attacked me twice (as adults) and for a period of 2.5 years I mercilessly bullied and gaslighted by two absolute cunts in a previous job which made my life a living hell 🤷‍♀️
Some of our experiences are just very different.

Nope, cannot relate to much of your post. You either live, god I can't imagine where or you are very paranoid and could do with some therapy. Sorry you feel that way 🙅

The UK is a very safe place for women. The public environment is safe.

Statistically, women have more to fear from a partner the home than a stranger. This is counterintuitive but true.

This patriarchal society is creating an Afghanistan style life for many women

Bit heavy on the dramatics there.

Same here. However, I generally attribute this to my size as I'm taller and heavier than most men and while I can't even beat my teenage sons at wrestling (since they hit puberty), I am not nearly as much of a vulnerable target as a small, petite woman. Also, and perhaps more importantly, I have never been seriously assaulted by a man.

I completely understand why many women DO feel like OP. Whether or not they ARE at risk in those situations is largely irrelevant if they don't FEEL safe.

@4thonthe4th I believe good people can find themselves an arguments because it only takes one unreasonable party to cause an arguement. Guess you didn't read the thread on here then about the woman who had a man shouting at her at the petrol station.

Other instances come to mind like when a day offers me a drink at the bar, I say no, I'm married and he starts arguing with me that obviously I'm a frigid bitch or someone is sitting in my seat on a train and refuses to move, or someone short changes me in a shop - those are the types of arguements I mean, and in all of these situations, If the person is a man, I personally start to fear that they will get aggressive and violent, don't have that generally if I'm dealing with a woman.

Also, I'm sure that nobody good ever got pulled over by the police. You're right, maybe it's all my fault. But the OP wasn't asking about whether or not I was a good or a bad person. I could be an absolute twat for all you know but the OP was starting a discussion about whether as a woman I'm fearful of situations involving men in day-to-day life and if it's alright with you, I'll continue to have my own opinion of how I feel in situations I find myself in, I'll even share them on the internet if somebody starts a discussion about it.

The only time I've been in danger from a man was when my late husband was involved. The police (also men) were bloody brilliant in dealing with him.

This, exactly. No-one who has any actual experience or direct information about what life is like for Afghani women would make such an ignorant, privileged statement

Many women are standing up to male violence, the women in Iran for example. Most women have experienced some sort of abuse or misdemeanour from men, ranging from the truly terrible rape or murder to the mundane, a man talking over you in a meeting.

But most women don't let anxiety cripple them, it's unhealthy and will blight your life. You have to live in this world and share it with men. We all have to act in a way that enables us to cope. Some severely restricting their movements and some not altering their behaviour at all. Most of us are a bit of a mixture.

I remember talking to my daughter about that silly rumour that there was going to be a curfew for men from 9'oclock on one day a week. We had such plans for what we would do, it made me sad.

But the truth is that if you live your life and enjoy it, with some simple precautions you will be much happier.

Oh, yes - I feel unsafe opening the door in my house for deliveries. I feel like less of an idiot reading that other people do too.

I don’t feel like you OP, you need help. Comparing the lives of U.K. women to those who live in Afghanistan is just distasteful.

Completely agree with this.

But do also think this is valid.

And I imagine if you have experienced sexual assault and/or domestic violence (which let's face it is a heartbreakingly high number of women) then that would certainly influence how safe or unsafe you feel in general.

The places the OP mentions: walking in rural areas, walking at dusk/night, being home alone, driving alone, being around men. Too many women have a traumatic history that mean those options might not be open to them, but if we don’t, it’s generally beneficial to face those fears and see them as exaggerated in the main.

Nope, have never felt unsafe around men in my life, that's with travelling extensively in UK & abroad alone, walking late at night & a whole lot of other potentially dangerous situations.
I take sensible precautions & try to think positively & not live in fear.

Never? 🤨 Wow. Lucky you.

If you think women should be able to have sex based spaces segregated from biological males - such as women’s prisons, same sex care for disabled women, bchanging rooms, refuges, rape crisis centres, girls’ schools, girls and womens’ sports etc - you might like to sign this petition to update the Equality Act to make clear the characteristic ‘sex ‘ is biological, not sex as in a man who identifies as a woman and may even have a gender recognition certificate to endorse this ( no surgery is necessary and most such men haven’t had any.)

The Equality Act allows for discrimination to allow these spaces for women based on sex in theory , but organisations are not providing them because they fear law suits on the grounds that men with the transgender identity of women are women too. Therefore many ‘womens’ spaces have become mixed sex.

To sign the petition to update the Equality Act to make clear the characteristic ‘sex ‘ is biological,
⬇️
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/623243

This patriarchal society is creating an Afghanistan style life for many women

Was this necessary?

Thanks for this, have signed

Wait what? Did you seriously suggest previous poster has only herself to blame for having a sauna or ordering a takeaway when she’s home alone?

This. Shocking.

No. I’m clearly not because those are the 2 things from her post that I DIDNT mention. But you already know rhat, don’t you. I said maybe don’t do things that mean arguing with randomers or things which mean you have to get into police cars 🙄

But we should be able to behave like utter clowns without being at risk. It’s not up to us to manage the behaviour of men.

Yep you lost at this point. Completely inappropriate analogy and 100% counteracts to your point op

Yup. Bit insulting to Afghan women who aren't even allowed to study.