Thanks.
For what it’s worth, I’d refuse to cook as well. I hope things work out with your daughter. Teens are hard work.
And yes, arguments about what constitutes a ‘proper’ meal can be tedious & really, it’s an argument best left to dieticians, who actually know what they are talking about and have proper scientific training and qualifications that do not come from
the University of the School Gate. (Everyone eats, everyone who has kids is obliged by law and love to feed them, many people read daft diet & parenting books & listen to the advice of ‘nutritionists’ who gained their dubious ‘qualifications’ from any one of the many private colleges dealing in such claptrap, so there is an endless supply of self-appointed experts willing to waste hours arguing about food and what people should/should not eat or feed their children.)
Really, if DD says that tomato soup & bread aren’t filling enough for her, perhaps she could consider eating more slowly: after 20 minutes or so of putting her spoon down between sips, savouring the flavour, taking a separate bite of bread, sipping water and (gasp!) even engaging in conversation with you instead of having a teen sulk and trying to escape the table as soon as possible, she might find herself to be full after all. If she isn’t, then surely she is able to convey herself to the fridge and help herself from a range of what you consider to be allowable add-one: a carton of plain yoghurt and a bit of fruit or something? Her father needs to back you up on your decisions about meals.
I do hope, if she finds your meals not to her liking (gg that must be irritating), that she decides that choosing to cook for herself is a better option than sulking, starving or complaining.
If my own DD does the same when she reaches that age (no doubt she will) my plan is to take the view that she has stitched herself up with regards to her next birthday or Christmas present: she will a good book in basic cookery (soffrito, the mysteries of the malliard reaction, recipes for foundation sauces enough to satisfy any saucy teen, efficient & economical meals that don’t require ingredients that I either wouldn’t ordinarily buy, or that won’t leave a budget hole if I do, and ideally, some advice on meal planning, nutritional needs, calorie needs calculated over the week rather than per day, so she doesn’t become obsessed with daily counting, but becomes aware that in order to maintain health and to ensure that the quick-release energy is there for whatever sports she does, she needs to make decisions and understand that it’s fine to have fish & chips or a good Sunday roast (or whatever her ‘rich food’ thing is) but that these meals must be balanced over the week with lower-density foods.
I might also enrol her in a home cookery course. One that includes budgeting, including adequate vegetables (including in-season & frozen vegetables), using vegetable as well as animal sources of protein, not treating carbohydrates as a demon food to be avoided at all costs, understanding portion size, and understanding how to manage calorie and nutritional needs without letting them take over daily life.
Hmm. I have a few years up my sleeve. Perhaps I should (with the help of a dietician) write the course and teach it myself. 😂 Who knows? It might turn out to be a decent earner!