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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That nobody has sex like on TV?

238 replies

newbieattheschoolgates · 08/02/2023 17:35

Just watching maternal… lady grabs man, they go in cupboard, she’s lifted against wall and he’s straight in.

Similar examples all over the place

or maybe I just haven’t lived… 🤔

OP posts:
OldFan · 08/02/2023 21:54

In the morning all I want is my coffee and internet. Smile

WandaWonder · 08/02/2023 21:55

neverbeenskiing · 08/02/2023 21:01

Also has anyone here ever removed the sheet from the bed and wrapped it around themselves when they get up after sex??? Because women on TV always do this and it strikes me as a really odd thing to do.

And they never show falling over trying to put your knickers back on and whilst you bend over to add a touch of class you break wind

padsi1975 · 08/02/2023 21:59

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 08/02/2023 18:48

You have to feed the cat or they sit and watch you like a little furry pervert 😁

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

padsi1975 · 08/02/2023 22:03

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 08/02/2023 19:28

Oh yes...he'd probably need some viagra and about 2 weeks warning as well so he could renew his passport and leave the country 🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

Oh my God, these comments are the best. Best laugh I have had in ages.

pattihews · 08/02/2023 22:04

SavoirFlair · 08/02/2023 19:48

A bigger question is why do (mainly) British posters on Mumsnet always have to reduce sex to being humorous and awkward, in order to fit in with the previous poster who has also said something vaguely funny and clumsy about sex?

We are not all weird pyjama wearing, granny pants sporting people who rush to find an old towel to avoid the mess.

It’s ok to somehow be slim and athletic, to want to be fucked all over the house, to desire intense and raw sex, and to lie in the aftermath.

Just a different perspective

Oh well, that's us told.

We must not be humorous. The diet and exercise starts tomorrow!

bonzaitree · 08/02/2023 22:04

Sex is a lot funnier in real life. You always see people so serious in TV and films in the throes of passion. We laugh quite a bit during sex. It’s fun! Lots of talking too! Would love to see a bit more of that!

QuizteamAguillera · 08/02/2023 22:05

There are some extremely graphic sex scenes in ‘Industry’ on the iPlayer. I really clutched my pearls watching it (not a euphemism!)

Sluttypants · 08/02/2023 22:06

I left my abusive ex and got myself a rather delicious man, and we have all the sex, all the ways, including being lifted up onto him, with him standing up, straight in on the stairs, bent over the back of the sofa.
Hot AF.
We do however always have the post pee/clean up thing :D

ODFOx · 08/02/2023 22:18

Sex on the tv was much better when we all had a telly in a big cabinet to get comfy on. Now they are thin and stuck on the wall it's all too much like acrobatics.

BeverForget · 08/02/2023 22:22

@SavoirFlair
MNers are elevating sex, not reducing it.
One has to add humour, and a touch of awkwardness, that is what makes it something more than just rutting like doomed livestock.

ArseMenagerie · 08/02/2023 22:24

IcedPurple · 08/02/2023 21:03

It's funny how we're meant to believe that they've spent all night having wild sex, but once the sun comes up they become terribly modest. Obviously I get that the actors don't want to have their bits on view, but like the women having sex with their bras on, it's just a bit silly.

Show quote history

Yes - eg Carrie Bradshaw always kept a bra on. Completely incongruous.

JudgeJ · 08/02/2023 22:28

BeaLola · 08/02/2023 19:35

I decided I was definitely middle-aged when instead of thinking about sex I was thinking about a cup of tea

I recall many years ago we were watching a very sexy scene and I commented 'I like those curtains'.

DuesToTheDirt · 08/02/2023 22:29

ODFOx · 08/02/2023 22:18

Sex on the tv was much better when we all had a telly in a big cabinet to get comfy on. Now they are thin and stuck on the wall it's all too much like acrobatics.

Nice one Grin

EarringsandLipstick · 08/02/2023 22:29

OldFan · 08/02/2023 21:52

Have y'all noticed a slightly more recent thing (mainly American?) on Netflix or whatever.

Say for instance in Sex/Life.

The bloke goes under the covers to perform oral on the woman and all we saw was the woman's expressions and supposedly that was supposed to get us going maybe.

I don't like receiving oral so it did nothing for me at all, and there was nothing to look at.

Supposedly it's so they don't have to show nudity or anything.

I mean, Sex/Life had plenty of nudity & graphic sex scenes ...

Ruth990 · 08/02/2023 22:30

I've had sex like that once and it was god awful!! Straight in and no warm up at all. Not enjoyable in the slightest. I was extremely drunk though! Never been that drunk since to be honest 😂 that's how bad it was. Stuff on tv is just not realistic at all.

EarringsandLipstick · 08/02/2023 22:34

Stuff on tv is just not realistic at all

I think the more recent stuff is more realistic though.

We are seeing female pleasure, more natural sex, women taking the lead, discussions re consent & preferences. Series like 'Normal People', 'Love Life' (Netflix), the recent Lady Chatterley's Lover. The use of intimacy coordinators has really helped.

Ruth990 · 08/02/2023 22:39

@EarringsandLipstick Very true! I loved Lady chatterley's lover! Such a good film.

OldFan · 08/02/2023 22:40

@EarringsandLipstick Most of Sex/Life I probably blanked out because it made me get weirdly obsessed with an ex from many years ago. It lasted over a year. Grin

Harryisabollock · 08/02/2023 22:40

Rampant spontaneous shower sex is fucking lethal - attempted once and never again. Rampant spontaneous sex in the car (which always seems so naughty) turned out to be a new tortured type of yoga. But it was a Fiat Panda so maybe could have tried in a bigger car.....did have a glorious bonk on a boardroom table once though. That did feel movie-worthy!

EarringsandLipstick · 08/02/2023 22:44

But it was a Fiat Panda so maybe could have tried in a bigger car.

Brilliant! 🤣🤣😊

EarringsandLipstick · 08/02/2023 22:44

OldFan · 08/02/2023 22:40

@EarringsandLipstick Most of Sex/Life I probably blanked out because it made me get weirdly obsessed with an ex from many years ago. It lasted over a year. Grin

Oh God! That's worrying.

I hated all the characters in Sex/Life. But the sex...that I liked!

User963 · 08/02/2023 22:49

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 08/02/2023 18:48

You have to feed the cat or they sit and watch you like a little furry pervert 😁

🤣🤣🤣

AmIreallyBeverly · 08/02/2023 22:50

I'd quite like quick and dirty wall sex but

  1. I'm several stone overweight so couldn't be lifted up.
  1. Husband has a million aches and pains so couldn't me anyway.
  1. Most importantly. The height difference would just make it impossible.
Wiluli · 08/02/2023 22:53

I absolutely had this sort of sex in my teens young years , it was freest and worry free lol but not these days .

Tilllly · 08/02/2023 22:54

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 08/02/2023 18:49

YANBU.

I also think book sex is ridiculous. butterfly kisses from the feet all the way up the legs. I’d die of boredom 🤣

And I'm ticklish