to wonder about bystanders ( eg during assault on school girl in Ashford)

[whatchaos]

to wonder about the ethics of being a bystander, and wonder what the bystanders were doing during the appalling assault in Ashford (Surrey) when a schoolgirl was beaten up, the awful video shows a grown woman encouraging primary aged kids to get involved...but there are any number of bystanders including a man in a car, the school principal (at the end) and any number of other school kids including much older looking boys. Wondering if anyone here would have tried to intervene to stop the fight or encouraged their children to intervene in cases like this?

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/girl-10-among-five-arrested-29158603

They are members of the Traveller community who live in Stanwell.

It's a very rough area, I used to work in social housing repairs and that was a big part of my patch

Having lived there, not a chance I would've intervened. Called the police, yes.

If you know the area, you know. Sadly the area is rapid decline...

They were clearly travellers. You don't mess with them, it won't end well.

I’ve just watched the video with sound and it’s all made sense. The woman’s obvious errrrr… culture?? Heritage?? I dunno, anyway, my first thought is that she and others would assault a woman who tried to intervene. I think it would have been pretty dangerous for a random person to step in.

Being a bystander is bloody dangerous as well. I’d have called 999 from my car. Wouldn’t have risked getting beaten/knifed.

I would actually stand and film (after calling the police of course) as that would be the best way of getting evidence.

I would get involved but only if I felt it was safe to do so.

I know the area a bit and wouldn't be trying to intervene. I think in that situation you're at v high risk of being outnumbered v quickly by other members of the community and/or escalating the situation. Calling the police and getting video evidence is probably the only helpful thing I'd feel I could offer.

My heart breaks for that girl. I'm from the area and sadly I'd have to say I probably wouldn't intervene. I have a DD of my own and I'm no good to her dead, or seriously injured. It would also be likely she'd become a target herself. I hate this world so much sometimes.

It's horrific that what looked like up to 20 people didn't feel able to do anything, and meanwhile there's a child being kicked in the face right in front of them. Not condemning anyone other than the aggressors, but my god how can it come to this - I'm totally unfamiliar with the area but the mind boggles.

I think it says a lot about the fear of the community involved. I've never had any issues myself but it's not uncommon. The poor girl will almost certainly be getting grief for daring to rouse public sympathy. It's bloody unpleasant.

I’ve intervened when 2 teenage lads were assaulting another one. The victim turned out to be vulnerable with SEN and that’s why he was picked on. It was just outside the school gates. The school took it seriously and the aggressors were punished. They also had had to listen to me bollocking them.
I also intervened one night when 8 males attacked a group of 2 males and a female. 1 male was on the floor and 2 were kicking him in the head. He lost a tooth but was mostly ok. The girl was punched really hard on the jaw, the sound was sickening.
By going out and shouting, threatening calling the police made them disperse. This was close to my house and a neighbour called the police.
I would intervene again but I recognise that could put me in danger and as I get older perhaps I won’t. I would call the police.
That poor girl to be battered like that, it will impact her education going forward and could take a long time to get over.
The adults encouraging it are despicable.

My DH has a scar from being "the good guy" .

I will impress upon DS/DD that you takr yourself to a safe space and call the police, youre much more likely to end up assulted yourself, especially if youre an average person who doesnt have experience of fighting

@whatchaos
I think what I'd be aware of if I was currently living there is that if I intervened there was a good chance me or members of my family would get jumped at a later date as payback.

I've intervened, got away with just verbal. A relative intervened, got assaulted.

In this instance, I would not have intervened as that is a big group but I would call the police.

Obviously I wouldn't film, or encourage.

Group mentality is grim.

In that area no. I have stepped up between an older looking school boy who was assaulting a younger school boy.

Kinda regretted it after when it turned out the younger lad had been bullying the older boys little brother for a year while the school did nothing. It was solved after this incident though.

I would (and have) intervened. Especially when it's children. Two adult men having a fight then probably not (although I'd call the police) but women or children as the victims then yes I do and would again.

I can't understand why people don't- but then I've been a victime where adults looked away and I vowed I'd never do that.

My police friends (I'm a civil servant not a cop) call me 'shit magnet' which is apparently an affectionate term for someone you don't want to be crewed with as it always kicks off when they're on shift.

Before I had DS I would absolutely have intervened. I was very fast and loose with my safety. When I got pregnant it was like my whole brain rewired. I would not put myself at risk for anyone but DS. Especially if I had DS with me.

You need to understand the context. Everyone seems very opinionated but unless you know the area, you can't understand. I know it. I wouldn't intervene, it's more than my life is worth.

Yes, i have stepped in before.

I was walking my two dogs and came upon 3 girls shouting at one girl. A fight broke out between two of the girls and i stormed over and shouted at them to stop which they did. The 3 girls rode off on their bikes and the other girl went inside the house.......here is the amazing part.

The 3 girls turned around after 100yards and rode back. The other girl came back out of her house and the fight started again between the 2 girls. ONLY THIS TIME MOTHER AND FATHER CAME OUT AND ENCOURAGED IT.

I couldnt believe my eyes and i again shouted for them to stop. Father shouted back at me that these girls were bullying his daughter and if they were going to fight, he was going to make sure it was fair.

I again told them to stop and shouted at the mother & father that they were disgusting trying to parent in such a way (I have full sympathy for anyone being bullied but this isnt the way). At this point the husband gave me some swearing abuse until he realised my partner was on his way over to have a word with him in person. He dragged his daughter indoors and slammed the door.

I was stunned at the feral behaviour of all concerned.

The poor girl. I could not have stood back and watched such an appalling assault and have intervened in a fight in the past.

Some teenagers don't fear anyone. I saw a video clip of two girls fighting on the school premises of a secondary school and a female teacher came to break it up. One of the girls looked directly at the teacher and punched her in the head.

I feel deeply worried about the future of this country, if our young people have such little respect for people around them

That video honestly made my feel physically sick, it’s absolutely horrendous. I do agree though, whilst I like to think I’d always step in, I think the reality is very different.

We have fights between traveller families in our community. Often organised and filmed for social media and often between children, including young girls. You absolutely would not get involved. The repercussions would be far ranging and dangerous for you and your family. This is not an example of bystander apathy, it is an example of people knowing how their community works.

If I saw an entire family attacking someone then no I wouldn't wade in and fight them off. For a start I'm at least 10 years older than the man who was arrested and the rest are even younger. I'm a widowed mum and have a responsibility to my kids to not put myself in dangerous situations. What I would do is call emergency services.

I've intervened with 2 approx 12 yr olds harassing another 12 yr old at the park and they looked me like 'old bag' but left him alone. He smiled and walked off.
I also intervened between a couple I met on a night out and found myself in A&E the man started hitting the woman and I said hey stop that so he punched me in the face!

In the 1st incidence I would do it again, not sure about the 2nd. Judging by the fact everyone is saying they are travellers not a hope, sorry, unless it was my own child or family member. I have seen how vicious they can get. Even with the Garda for breaking them up, a Garda friend has had all of the windows in his house smashed and the tyres on his car slashed. Where I grew up they mostly won't even intervene if travellers are fighting.

I hopeI would have intervened, but I have never been in the situation so can’t truly say how I would act.

I might not intervene if I was the only person with my two small children because I’d be worried about them getting hurt.

I suppose people were scared. Or maybe didn’t know what to do. Not everyone is good at sticking their neck out or dealing with a scary situation.

One thing I would say is that I think I would find it easier intervening in an adult being aggressive than a child. In fact I saw a group of 4 11/12 ish year old boys at the weekend being a nuisance. They were hurting anyone but I was watching ad they were approaching people and trying to intimidate. I realised that I felt like their age is really hard to deal with. Older and I’d be happy to try and intervene and possibly get physical, smaller and I would have felt able to manage them with child gloves. That middle age though I’d not be sure what to do….I wouldn’t want to hit them if it got aggressive but im sure no child friendly methods wouod have worked: