Dr told me I'm three and a half stone Overweight but I'm in no place

[forelogger]

To accept it or get motivated.
I have every reason to be motivated . But I'm not.

I've three kids, on my own , my knees and ankles are paining me, I've a back injury that can be healed woth walking and im single and would like to feel my best to look my best to meet someone one day.

I don't know how I got to this place.
I can carry two stone over. Im 5'7 but this is a new low for me.
Where do I even begin.

My mood is so low and I feel hopeless and full of despair for the future .
That chat we had was just the mail in the coffin.
AIBU to think I can do this in my own.
I can't afford a club or dietician.

I have so little time for planning or prep and as dr said to me ' once again, it's us women putting ourselves last and waking up unhappy with our weight and fitness one day'
All opinions appreciated and even a kick up the behind .
Thank you for reading.

*sweariness! Though maybe sweatiness would help with the weight loss too

A lot of people find soups are a great way to help regulate their weight, and they are easy to make and cost effective too. If you make one really big batch each weekend and freeze small portions, after a 3-4 weeks you’ll have a variety to choose from. And I don’t mean piddly pathetic ‘weight loss’ soups, I mean something really hearty and filling.

Once you’ve got them prepared, you can easily heat one up in the microwave in minutes. I’ve even been known to eat pea and ham soup for breakfast… my mother in law likes to talk about this like I’m a lunatic, but it’s delicious and a lot more filling and healthy than a bowl of sugary cereal.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/5-a-day/5-a-day-what-counts/

It's 80g that contributes to the 5 a day (although nutritionists say it should be 7 a day). They say it should really be more veg than fruit so 3 veg to 2 fruit portions if you do 5 a day, otherwise 4/5 pieces of veg.

I over eat with the veg but try to keep to the above with fruit. I love fruit in the same way you do and struggle with this! Although, if it's between that and falling off plan, go for the fruit!

I feel for you. Losing weight over 45 is notoriously difficult especially when you are fed up, sedentary and don't have a lot of head space or motivation for counting calories or exercise.

Two things worked wonders for me. the first was cutting out sugar - including in processed foods. Sugar's addictive so its hard at first but its a pretty straightforward approach.

the second was the 16/8 regime. I don't eat until midday and I finish eating at 20.00. Your body begins to burn fat after 12 hours without food and if you can manage 16 hours you will definitely lose weight. Again, its very simple so you don't have to worry about calculating calories etc and it really does work. The weight comes off and you don't put it on again. Before midday I drink tea or coffee without milk, then I eat and drink more or less what I want and try hard not to include sugar. its made a huge difference and once I got used to it it is so easy to maintain.

Good luck!

I wondered if people mean a portion.
Because for example "piece" of orange would be well debetable 😁

You've tons of advice here and as someone who's a few weeks in to my own weightloss journey (also a full-time working mum with a high stress job and the wrong side of 40, but shorter than you), I think the advice to make small swaps and changes is the key one. I went from 92kgs to 78kgs a year ago and then stabilised at 82 for the last 12 months. Honestly, even just a year where I stayed in a 2kg boundary and didn't gain weight despite everything going on was amazing. Now at 79 trying to get to 75 (my original goal, but life got in the way!) For what it's worth, I am eating about 1800 cals a day, and I don't care if it's 1650 or 1900 - some days are busier than others.

These are the small things I did in 2021 and have managed to (mostly) keep:

• Drink. More. Water! Busy people are terrible at this. Buy a decent bottle and bring it everywhere. Or swap your hot drinks for flavoured but unsweetened teas (mint, ginger, lemon etc - no milk). Twinings does one that tastes like Murray Mints and I'm addicted!
• Weekly grocery shop with lots of healthy quick meals: fresh chunky soups and the pots that used to be Innocent Veg Pots (bol?). If i get home late and I'm starving I'll have a large soup or noodles with fresh veg, and it takes 4 minutes in the microwave. I have no time to be cooking big dinners.
• Batch cook some meals that feel substantial but aren't unhealthy - a vegetable curry, lentil and aubergine stew, chunky soups, and heat up on Thursday when you're shattered and can no longer be fucked with the week. Don't bother serving with rice if it means one more thing you have to cook, just a bowl and a spoon.
• Read something about healthy eating first thing in the morning, it keeps it in your mind for the day. Set a reminder to check the mumsnet weightloss forum for ten minutes at 8am or something.
• Whatever packaged food you pick up, flip it over to look at the calories. You'll soon find yourself thinking "this definitely isn't worth it".
• Forgive yourself. A huge pasta dish might not be the healthiest, but you'll be full and you probably won't be hungry for the next meal, so averaged out over two meals, it doesn't look so bad. You haven't ruined it all, just have a lighter meal for the next one and it will even out.
• Keep snacks around that you have checked the calories on so you KNOW you can fit in, depending on what's left in your daily budget. Clementines, a babybel, individually wrapped madeleines, maybe even a cornetto (if you go for a brisk 45min walk).

I stopped eating bread regularly because I was a divil for the Kerrygold. But I might have a slice now as a treat if it's fresh crusty sourdough, because you still have to live in this world!

It's really hard OP. I have the opposite problem and could do with putting on a few stone. And yes before anyone points out it is still as deflating for a slender person to need to put weight on as much as an overweight person to lose it. I wish I could take the weight you want to lose OP! Wishing you all the best x

Thanks!
Speaking ofKerrygold, I bought four lbs of it for my Christmas shop, for baking, cooking and the trusty eggs Benedict on sourdough for Christmas morning ... a big treat in our house !
I've literally opened the last lb of it so I'm sure the kids will make short work of it as it's out of bounds for me now .
Am addicted to it !

Have you had your bloods tested? Sometimes being deficient in certain vitamins like b12, vitD, can make you feel pretty down & demotivated. So it’s worth getting them prescribed from your doctor at a higher dose & it giving them 3 months to work. Otherwise, it would be good to just set yourself a 15-30 minute target to get a walk outdoors everyday. Walking the kids to school all counts. little things like that will help you feel better.

For food ideas try searching “calorie deficit meal” or similar on tik tok. I search “air fryer chicken” for ideas and it’s changed my boring weekly menu and a bit more healthy alternatives to other things I used to have.

my favourites on tik tok are

healthyfitbella
boredoflunch
jalalfit

Yes but only with certain conditions and there are other options than slimming world as it does not work for me

I empathise.
I need to loose weight but just currently have no willpower or motivation despite hating how I look.
mif you find the secret to getting your mojo back please share

I was a long time ago very overweight, a lot more than that, the best way is to make small changes every 2-3 days for instance if you have sugar in coffee or tea try reducing that to start, try adding in more exercise, for instance, if you drive, if you can walk instead on some days try bringing that in. Diets don't work you end up yoyoing they get the weight off initially but it's about making small lifestyle changes that you can stick to, to maintain weight loss. Also, small changes are easier to keep maintaining when you see the progress which in turn motivates, also the more you can the weight down the better you feel as you will find it easier to manage your pain which again will motivate you further. Hope this helps. Good luck OP, it's hard but worth it.

What worked wonders for me:

Set a goal of (relaxed) waist measurement of <30 inches. I set no weight goal.
I rigidly stuck to 1600 - 1800 kCal
I ate within a 12 hour window, no exceptions
I stuck to 3 meals a day, no snacks of any kind
99% of the time, I only drank water
30 mins before each mealtime, I downed a whole glass of water (to see if it was thirst, not 'hunger' I was feeling)
I served meals onto smaller, blue coloured plates (it works, I don't know why)
I ate much slower, tried to enjoy the food and stopped the moment I felt full (not when the plate was empty!!!)
Started walking a little bit more each day (which eventually turned into running - I ended up doing the NHS Couch to 5K which is absolutely fantastic!)
I put £1 in a jar for each kg lost for a laugh/it seemed like a good idea at the time? I spent it on something fun when I was done
IMPORTANT: I only weighed / measured once every 4 weeks, @ the same day & time. I recorded chest, waist, hip, thigh measurements and my kg.
I stopped (1 year after*) my waist reached <30inches - because that's the only measurement that really matters!!!

Once you've lost the weight and you're happy, you must maintain that exact weight for a minimum of 12 months to 'fix' it - otherwise your body (believing food has been in short supply lately) will do everything it can to put you back up to your former weight (now food has become available again). This is why *losing weight is so hard and why most diets fail miserably.

One final thing to remember - calories work over 3-5 days, so aim to eat 1600-1800 kCal on average per day each week. It really doesn't matter if you massively over eat on one day, just eat leaner over the next few.

I'm in the same mess. When I'm stressed my weight balloons up but doesn't drop back when things are easier. I eat when I'm tired, agitated or lonely. Whatever the problem, the answer isn't in the fridge.
I've been most successful with cutting down portion size, having a smaller plate, telling myself there's no point having one biscuit because it wouldn't satisfy me and eating half a dozen would make me feel worse. A friend lost three stones by the smaller portions thing and by always refusing second helpings. No thanks, I've had loads.
We can do it. Dangerously overweight is frightening, so let's be sure - we CAN do this.

I ate so much today but ............................ back on the wagon tomorrow.

Hmm, apparently when you put a '*' into text, it randomly moves it then turns everything around it into bold font???
Sorry about that...

No need for anything expensive or complicated. You need to try a low-carb or keto diet to see some real results!

look up keto meals online and go for it

I eat when hungry and like you tend to grab what’s easy - the odd biscuit, a slice of toast. I’ve found, (and I know it’s the healthiest option but for me it works) that doing intermittent fasting and then ready meals saves having to measure, weigh and even think about food. The only hard part about fasting for me is milk in morning coffee, I don’t like it black so have fruit teas instead. Then at 12 I have a ready to go just add water calorie counted porridge pot with blueberry’s or a banana, then I have sushi as an afternoon snack and a ready meal with a protein mousse in the evening. I have lots of tea and coffee throughout the day with a splash of milk, I try to have mainly tea as I require less milk that way. I stick to 1/2 pint of milk max but don’t usually have it all.
Doing this I can come in at under 1000 calories without thinking about it and stay within fast hours and it really works.

I’ve lost just under 5 st over 2 years. I do have a bit of birthday cake and I ate over Xmas and put on 3lb😳 but I feel in control when I don’t have to think about it. Try to eliminate bread.

Couch to 5k. I only started running in my 40s but it has changed my body, my mental health, my life.

Do you work behind a desk? My job involves a lot of desk work (although I do go out to site, but take a car as they are further away and walking on site isn’t much) I got a standing desk recently and will get a walking mat to go with to, this is my answer as I was so fit and healthy during COVID when we had so much time on our hands and could walk, but, back to work full time now and not so much. This is my ‘meet in the middle’.

This won’t be much help to you , as I recently got diagnosed type 2 diabetic, but they put me on Semaglutide injections once a week to lose weight. I’m the same height as you but was approaching 23 stone.
8 months later, I’m 18 1/2 stone. I don’t think I could have lost that weight without that help. If I could get back to the weight you are now, I would be very happy! My knees and back are so much improved, and I can exercise without getting breathless.

Hope you find the motivation, as I let myself go and ended up here. (Diabetic)

May be slammed for this but I’m keto (due to long covid, it really helps me).
If you do it correctly - with mineral supplements and lots of green veg / salad / eggs etc rather than daily burgers - it can be very effective for weight loss and importantly cravings. Lots on FB / Google on it. It is actually quite easy to follow too. I’m like you, time poor and grab what’s there, but it’s nuts or some cheese now. All the best.

Apparently I'm 8 stone overweight. I'm 6ft and anything below 14 stone for me is very unachievable and makes me look unhealthy. I'm happy at 16 st tbh and that makes me a size 16. This size may sound big to some people but i come from a very tall wide hipped family.
I physically could not be a size 12 if I wanted due to the size of my bone structure.

Any very restrictive diet should be first well discussed against current health issues and genrtical predispositions. They are not all suitable and healthy for all.