Dr told me I'm three and a half stone Overweight but I'm in no place

[forelogger]

To accept it or get motivated.
I have every reason to be motivated . But I'm not.

I've three kids, on my own , my knees and ankles are paining me, I've a back injury that can be healed woth walking and im single and would like to feel my best to look my best to meet someone one day.

I don't know how I got to this place.
I can carry two stone over. Im 5'7 but this is a new low for me.
Where do I even begin.

My mood is so low and I feel hopeless and full of despair for the future .
That chat we had was just the mail in the coffin.
AIBU to think I can do this in my own.
I can't afford a club or dietician.

I have so little time for planning or prep and as dr said to me ' once again, it's us women putting ourselves last and waking up unhappy with our weight and fitness one day'
All opinions appreciated and even a kick up the behind .
Thank you for reading.

Hi, 5'8 and about three stone over weight. Two small children and work full time with a commute so limited to what I can do exercise why.

I am on week 3 but for the last two weeks i cut out snacks and that alone shifted 1/2 stone.

I hear you it's hard. To help I am doing weight watchers - it helps me think about my food choices and swap to a lower fat version

Hello OP, and I hope you can start to put your own needs higher up the priority list from now.

Can your GP prescribe gym sessions for you? I don't know how the system works in Ireland, but in England, I believe it is possible for the NHS to pay for gym sessions if prescribed by the GP.

However, you may not feel like the gym right now, or it may not be accessible. So, I'd echo others who are recommending YouTube exercise workouts. Yoga with Kassandra is a good place to start - workouts/practices from 10 minutes to an hour, beginners through intermediate to advanced levels. She does 30 day challenges where you can commit to 10 minutes every morning or evening.

I think intermittent fasting - 16:8 or 14 10 is actually a pretty good pattern to follow, and there seems to be lots of evidence to support it. Are there simple, small steps you can take to change? Like if you drink a lot of sodas, or fruit juice, or take sugar in your tea, can you stop that?

Drink a lot of water.

Walk a bit more and monitor your steps. Don't go mad - aim for a 1000 more on average each day month by month. If you average 4000 a day in Feb, aim for 5000 a day on average in March.

Stretch your ankles and calves and hamstrings out a bit each morning and evening.

Just try small, sustainable changes, and let them build you up.

this comes out from your op

My mood is so low and I feel hopeless and full of despair for the future .

any help with your mental health? Or no ideas just that you’re overweight? Being overweight is most likely linked as well with your mental health and unless you improve that you’ll most likely not lose much weight and if you do recover it back easily. I think its more important to focus on loving yourself, improving what you eat (if you consider you dont eat healthily) and do a bit of exercise than what the scale says and what number you want to achieve. I do think improving your mental health would have a good impact on the rest as well
We shouldn’t just feel we are a number that the scale is telling us we are, we are more than that number. All the best OP

Snap, you could be me , even down to the Dr and also in Eire . Like me too , it is not that we don't know what we are doing wrong , we know what we should be doing but so damned hard to get motivated . Ironically all the aches and pains, stress and mood would be drastically improved if we did lose weight and exercise. Excellent advice on here but just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one feeling like this.

1550-1600 calories should be weight loss for you. Make sure you have enough protein. Your macros should be about
Carbohydrate 133 g 34.7%
Protein 136 g 35.3%
Fat 51 g 30.0%

plug that into mfp too.

walk 10000 steps a day but make 2000 of those fast walking then next week 3000 ext.

Add further exercise in as you go along rather than changing the calories.

try an app such as the Bodycoach and follow people such as The fitness chef on Facebook.

good luck.

Check out a macros calculator for the macros and calories don’t relay on MfP or you will be hungry then you won’t keep it up.

I've restarted counselling and have Ringfenced 8 hours sleep per night. Gave up alcohol as it was tiring me more at weekends which is when I get some down time.
Reading through these responses really brings home to me how much I've been coasting. Like a disinterested random observer rather than a fully involved curator of my own life.
I knew I was eating to much cheese / nuts/ dairy yet I didn't even think of what I was eating... mindless, autopiloting .
Tbh too much food has been one big security blanket albeit not my friend.

You need to be motivated but try and change the thought pattern- it’s not so ‘you can look nice and meet someone’. You need to do it to be fit and healthy for yourself and your children, to live without pain in your joints at a young age, to live to see them grow up and hopefully one day have the energy to be an active gran!
Chuck out all crap. Research easy, low cost and healthy recipes and get moving (couch to 5k is brilliant bit running isn’t the only option). Best of luck - you have this! Please update us with your progress.

I certainly will update. In fact, if there were one or two more of us on board, a weekly check in would be lovely for company on the journey and maybe some chats and support with those who've broken through the mental barrier of it all x

You sound like a really lovely and thoughtful person. You will be able to do this because you clearly do care about yourself, and can see now is the time to prioritise yourself.

Whatever you do - start small. And set yourself small achievable goals that are focussed on behaviour and mood rather than weight or appearance.

I follow Tactic Nutrition on Instagram and find their advice really sensible and helpful. I hope you can take it one day at a time and your health problems improve soon.

I highly recommend Slimpod. It's incredible. It's a coaching programme and weightloss community and it helps build you up and feel better in yourself while tackling the weight too. It's helping me so much and I've done a LOT of diets.

Glad you’re now getting some help on your mental health. That’s the main problem when we are depressed/anxious we binge eat without caring and then when we care sometimes it’s too bad. That’s why i meant getting help with mental health and improving our binging/eating because I’m sad and I’m having something quick (not healthy) cuz i cant be arsed… many times leads to weight that then we feel sad about and want to easily get rid of, when improving our relationship with the food and also our mental health (and sports) will most likely help us more than a 16:8 relationship with food that we wont be able to maintain forever.

Check out the weight loss section pp mentioned. Nice posters, check ins, info

Being very overweight makes a person much higher risk for dementia. That should be a motivation for people as dementia sucks (my mother has it).

@forelogger I've also just started trying to regain control after years of stress and focusing on everyone else plus a lot of illness.

Am 5'7.5" and 103kg. It's really the last 5 or so kilos that seriously annoy me; want to get rid of those asap.

Have switched diet to no snacks, protein and vegetables with much less carb. And upping exercise.

A kilo or maybe a little more has gone already after first week. Basically just thinking 'what would be good for me to eat today?' rather than grabbing most convenient things. Lots salad, stuff I like. Rest of family (teenage boys) having to fill themselves up with toast and ice cream, but they'll cope.

Would love to have check ins with you if helpful.

Hi @forelogger I hear you! I was you! I didn’t even noticed I was over 3 stone overweight… reality kicked in when I saw a photo and I didn’t recognise myself 😱. Come on over to to here Lovely ladies who are inspiring and supportive 👍 Once you’re in the right head space you’ll smash it. ❤️

According to your BMR, 1600 Is maintenance.

I think the fact you are posting here means you’re ready to change and want to do it. I’m with you OP xxx

I really took the eye off the ball in covid then got pregnant and am in an almost identical boat.

I am down 7kg since mid nov but have a way to go. It can be gone.
I second: good scales, MFP and walking.

I also really recommend routine and planning.

For me a bad morning always becomes a bad day so i make sure if nothing else breakfast is good.

I put clothes out night before so i can dress quickly then every day i have one of two breakfasts (one is my plan A - a nice regular protein and berry porridge breakfast, the other is literally a meal replacement protein shake which i can chug if my morning is a write off and i have no time)

I also make sure i get out and do a short walk before or after breakfast. When i go back to work i will be getting off the tube one stop early in the morning. That gets me off to a good start and then it is all easie.

Another tip which i love is weighing everyday but tracking weekly average to track weightloss. When you see a day on day "gain" and scale isnt moving in the right direction it is so disheartening. But looking week on week helps you see you are making progress and not think "sod it" and eat cake washed down with wine.

You mentioned commute, could you build your walk into this? Park bit further away or get off bus earlier.
Think if you start off by getting bits of exercise into your day by walking will be a big help.
Operation Transformation app has exercise routines & meal planning all fairly quick& easy to follow.
But think best start is to get walking.
Good luck

Smaller plate, smaller portions is my route, with pretty good success.
I then remind myself that smaller portions DOES work and don't dip into the biscuit jar. Doesn't then take too much discipline once you've shifted a bit to keep reminding ones self how much better it is without the extra weight when tempted

I’ve literally just restarted weight loss. I’ve decided going too radical isn’t going to work for me so I am making smaller changes. Eating in a smaller window with a view to cutting down to 16:8, cutting out the vast a,ojnts of milk chocolate and sweets, increasing my vegetable intake and reducing the carbs.

I’m not calorie counting or worrying drastically about cheese. If you eat reduced carb these are fine. It really depends on the type of meals you choose to eat. You say you’re not so bothered about bread / pasta etc so perhaps this is a solution for you too.

I eat a meal for breakfast. Big plate of veg / salad with chicken. I have been having the same for months btw, it’s just the cutting out the junk food that’s making the difference. As I know I’m eating it I always have it in stock and can precook the chicken if wanted. On the salad I use lots of olive oil as it’s good for gut health and a smidge of balsamic, will try lemon juice as have just bought some. I eat the same sort of thing for lunch. Veg with lettuce and some kind of protein. I made a couple of portions of roasted veg with some sweet potato and a piece of salmon cooked in lemon juice. Really quick, easy things. My ideal is about 10 mins of prep.

Snacks I’m eating cheese with easy peelers or ham with an apple. I’d like to include nuts but right now I think I’d over eat so am avoiding. For dinner it’s mainly stuff I’ve cooked for all of us. I’m not too fazed if I eat the carb part In smaller quantities. This evening I made a beef mince stir fry with rice. I only had a small portion of rice and added some extra veg. In the past I’ve replaced the carb with a bed of lettuce. Cauliflower rice is delicious but needs blending and takes about 20 mins to stir fry and can’t just be left. Also drinking plenty of water and nettle tea - no milk / sugar.

For my sweet tooth I’ve bought 90% chocolate and eat a chunk max with some coconut oil.

My dh and dd eat the same as me in the evenings. Your dcs are younger and idk if they’d eat the same things as you. So if possible you could batch cook for you and cook their food alongside but I know that is a lot to think about. Maybe you need to start small like me? Eg If they’re having nuggets for dinner, you could add a few extra or a piece of breaded chicken and take this with you to work with a load of veggies or a salad (I would just eat cold if you’re ok with this). Far better than a sandwich. Things don’t have to be perfect. They just have to work for you.

I think different things work for different people. I have a number of ailments and am disabled so the exercise won’t be for me unfortunately. In 4 days I’ve come down from 109 kg to 107.6. Would be interested in talking on the thread. I’ve got a lot of brain fog and my memory is terrible so apologies if I forget.

In the past I’ve been on BIWI’s low carb boot camp. She’s a mumsnetter but idk if she’s still doing them. I couldn’t make it past a few weeks as I became too ill, not from the diet btw. Just my health. But that’s a possibility if you want the low carb high fat route.

I think a key thing is to set small, achievable goals. As with anything in life if a hurdle seems too big it's very easy to get disheartened and give up. 3.5 stone could easily seem an impossible task, so set yourself an initial target of losing, say, 4lb. Make some small, but sustainable changes. When you hit that first target you will feel so much better and then you can set yourself another goal. Keep taking small steps and you'll get there.

I’m a stone overweight. I started again on Monday. For me what has worked before and hopefully again is:

• cutting out wine. A g &T with zero sugar tonic instead
• low carb (not no carb) diet. Have lots of yummy alternatives to snack on. Protein and vegetables at night (no potatoes, pasta, rice etc).
• intermittent fasting 16:8
• exercising 3 times per week even if it’s just a 30 minute fast walk

I also agree with small targets. For me it is 500g loss a week. Slow and steady as they say. Small fluctuations also normal.

If you have a bad day. Start again the next day.