Dr told me I'm three and a half stone Overweight but I'm in no place

[forelogger]

To accept it or get motivated.
I have every reason to be motivated . But I'm not.

I've three kids, on my own , my knees and ankles are paining me, I've a back injury that can be healed woth walking and im single and would like to feel my best to look my best to meet someone one day.

I don't know how I got to this place.
I can carry two stone over. Im 5'7 but this is a new low for me.
Where do I even begin.

My mood is so low and I feel hopeless and full of despair for the future .
That chat we had was just the mail in the coffin.
AIBU to think I can do this in my own.
I can't afford a club or dietician.

I have so little time for planning or prep and as dr said to me ' once again, it's us women putting ourselves last and waking up unhappy with our weight and fitness one day'
All opinions appreciated and even a kick up the behind .
Thank you for reading.

I’ve recently started Slimming World and making my health a priority to sort out, by losing some weight… choosing veggies and fruit first, making healthy meals, walking more - it’s helping my mental health too which took a nosedive last year. Hope you can get on a plan of some sort, otherwise Nutracheck is a good app or see if you can get on some SW Facebook groups online and try it from home yourself, without signing up. I personally need the thought of being weighed by someone else to keep me going, plus the thought of hopefully being more healthier and active for the summer. Good luck.

You can do it on your own.

I read 'The obesity code' but then made up my own simple intermittent fasting plan and quite simply only ate between 13:00 and 19:00 and mostly cut put refined sugar, highly processed foods and cut right back on bread.

At the same time I started walking - at first (during the first lock down) just short walks to get the kids out of the house, but later that expanded to be 20 mile hikes when I have time, and at least 3 miles at least 5 times per week including one longer walk of at least 10 miles once per week which are my glorious alone time and better than any therapy as well as almost coincidentally exercise.

It took me 12 months to lose 7 stone. I kept it off completely for over a year then slipped a bit due to changing job and having less flexibility to organise my time and put on just over a stone, but I'm back on track to lose that again by late spring/ early summer.

You can definitely do it by yourself but I found a chat thread on here with other ladies with a lot of weight to lose very useful for moral support.

I follow the college nutritionist on instagram. She has a program as well which I bought for a one off fee on sale for $70! Access to recipes and menu planning which prints grocery lists as well. But there is enough info in her instagram to get started and follow what she does.

basically plenty of vege, protein and fat at every meal. She has the breakdown of proportions. Take a look at it.

Find a routine, just like you do for other things. You'll live in painful regret if you don't.

I'm very aware that I'm lazy about exercise so I do what suits. I don't go to bed hungry. Intermittent fasting 12-14 hours, and I'm sleeping for part of that which makes it much easier.

When sitting watching TV I'm either lifting dumbbells or standing occasionally to do 20 squats on the spot or doing knee raises and leg raises whilst sitting. I have stairs in my house, I walk up and down them a few times weekly. I follow YouTube videos - mostly dance style exercise, in shortish bursts as 1 hour routines bore me. Or just put on music, and dance work up a bit of a sweat - nobody to see me prancing around like an idiot so it's good.

This week every time I approach kitchen door, I'm doing 25 slow controlled squats before I enter. I don't like doing it but, it only takes a couple of minutes so what odds.

You can either sit for more years feeling worse, with your DCs eventually worrying about you. Or you can move. YouTube has seated exercises. Just start somewhere.

I'm not saying it's easy or that my way is the perfect way. Just that its do-able. You can ways find exercises to add at home. Rather than thinking of long-winded exercise/diet plans, get moving at home. All else will follow in due course. There's a good weight loss forum on MN too.

I would not recommend team rh
Fitness

Ok - so I’m on a similar position . 44 5 ft 7 , 95kg. Fattest I’ve ever been. I’ve decided to try and improve my health by looking after myself a bit better.

I’m doing lots of little things.
Drinking more water
Drinking less alcohol and less caffeine
Trying to get more sleep
mulitvitamin
Mindfulness
Yoga / body balance once a week
physio exercises to strengthen upper body slowly
A walk with the kids at the weekend
Journalling

My thought is that if I feel better and am looking after myself more I might respect my body better. Lower cortisol and allow my body to stop piling on pounds.

I’m not aiming to lose weight at the moment but feel well and more in control.

The best thing eith lack of motivation is to start slower.
Track everything you eat (yeah yeah, I also claimed I don't eat much and not too many cals, because I genuinely believed it). Just track fee notmal days in MFP and then see what can you swap for lower cal alternative. It doesn't need to be drastic things if you don't have motivation for them. Start is a start

Thanks everyone . Too many to thank personally but I appreciate all ideas and helpful thoughts.
How do you lower cortisol. My dr said my body was ' flooded with it ' due to my present circumstances . My life is high stress that I can feel at all times.

Exercise (short 15-20min ones) and freetek in headphones to turn off the brain

I guess that buying foods and drinks that literally have the calories counted for me is a good start? And then to start measuring portions of meat/ pasta/ cereals etc???
So yoghurts and fruits
Ham cheese tomatoe salad sandwiches and soups and then maybe some freshly prepared meals to have at hand to begin? Bag of fruit at work?

At your weight, the first 10-15 kg will come off quickly on almost any diet. I’m doing Dr Mosley’s “Fast 800 blood sugar diet” and it’s working for me.

I can recommend the app “MyNetDiary” where all you need is free, only pay for extras you don’t really need. Easier to use than MyFinessPal IMO.

As you are in lreland..same as me, you could read up on Operation Transformation online and get some ideas for healthy meals and ideas for exercises to do at home. Make small changes.

They have set up walking groups in a lot of areas if that was helpful in any way. Kids join in too.

Lowering cortisol is trying to find ways to destress. Life is really stressful, so it’s finding a small space of time every day that’s yours - do you work through your lunch break while eating something to the side? Maybe putting on some music you like and moving from where you work while you eat, or taking a short walk to have time to yourself.

Your other suggestions are brill though! Maybe make a list of a few different things you like for lunch, that are easy to prepare/found close to where you work so you can grab them quickly. I usually make a batch of soup or a large frittata (where I basically just chuck eggs over whatever veggies/meats are left in my fridge) on a Sunday and then that feeds me for lunch for the week. Maybe that could work too?

I am 48, 5’6, in January last year I weighed 94kg, I am now 60kg. My weight had crept on over years and I really hadn’t noticed how awful and unhappy I looked. I made a snap decision last year and joined Fast 800 online plan where I did 12 weeks of approx 800-1000 calories and time restricted eating. At the end of the 12 weeks I’d lost 17kg. I then continued doing 4:3 then 5:2 for about another 12 weeks. Since then I have happily maintained my weight eating a Mediterranean type diet and continuing time restricted eating. I have completely changed my way of eating and broken my binging habit and sugar addiction. I honestly feel like a new woman. There is a Fast 800 Facebook group where many people have done the same using recipes from the books. This way of eating may work well for you if you are in the habit already of not eating until late morning. I’ll be honest and say you have to be prepared with your food and I spend an awful lot of time batch cooking now but when I look in the mirror it is totally worth it. Anyway, whatever you decide to do I wish you every success.

I’m a single parent -2 kids no time At all to consider fancy plans etc. 2 stone to loose (well a stone down now)

my weight loss plan is quite simply fasting and low carb. I’m not counting anything it’s not taking my extra time or effort to incorporate this into my day, if anything it’s easier: I’m fasting from 6/7pm till noon the next day. Have a “bullet coffee” (black) in the morning and having the same meals the kids have sans or very low carb. I have one cheat meal a week, (I can do a cheat day if I was at a wedding or something social) but I haven’t found the need yet.

it’s working without me even thinking about it. The only thing is when fasting if you’re not used to it is to do it slowly, as not to find yourself scrambling for quick fixes. Plan what you’ll have and stick to it. Very little effort, maximum return imo.

So your BMR is 1600 calories. That's before you create a deficit. So slow and steady weight loss you'll need 10-20% deficit per week. Most people work full time and commute, most people don't not eat until lunch time. Have something !!!! Even if it's a banana or a yogurt. You might not be hungry, but it will lead to eating more.
3 meals 400 calories
2 snacks/drinks 100-150 calories each. Max.
Stop doing things like ham and cheese sandwiches, by the time you add butter or mayo those calories will jump up. Especially if pre-packed. Have ham or cheese, not both. Good luck OP!!! I'll look for some sensible day on a plate ideas for those calories.
(Please eat breakfast)

And cortisol is reduced by reducing stress or fight and flight, but does not contribute to weight gain or retention. It's the lifestyle factors that we use to comfort the stress, not the hormone.

i keep it simple and only eat between 1 and 7pm. Spent a couple of weeks doing My Fitness Pal to understand portion size. Reduced carbs, increased veg by the bucket load, stopped processed foods.

Try an app like my fitness pal
dont set yourself unrealistic targets even small changes will make a difference - once you’ve got used to one small change try introducing another
don’t be too hard on yourself if you go off piste but don’t compound the problem afterwards - I tell myself each meal is only 1 of 21 each week and if I have an unhealthy meal or snack too much as long as I don’t do it another 20 times it’s not a huge problem
just get through it one day at a time eg I’m not going to drink alcohol or have any unhealthy snacks today
if you do then start again with good intentions tomorrow
if you don’t then go for it and try and replicate that the next day

You've all been so kind and generous with your experiences and advice so thank you . I can do if. I can do low carb as in I've no great interest in pasta, spuds, rice or bread but my downfall is dairy now that I think of it. I could live in cheese alone!
I used to be good for knowing calories in products but in retrospect, I think I've simply given up ....seems to correlate with my apathy towards my life at present . I can't think of a food type or group that I don't annoy so that's positive! It's almost like all this weight crept on as I was a passenger in my own life .
Time to take back control .
Is 1600 cals maintenance?

I'd lost 3st during my pregnancy due to two illnesses and I've put it all back on. I can't imagine what it's like alone with cooking and finding time for exercise. Can you meal prep?

I decided I'd start eating healthily but "volume eating" so those large salads we love talking about on Mumsnet, stir fries, basically big plates of low carb, protein, good fats with as much veg as I want because if starve myself, I'll be hungry and tired when the kids are in bed and just eat badly later. The concept is not to cut out everything just make lower calorie but higher volume swaps, like I saw someone had trifle without the sponge layer or swap the type of chips you make to swede or sweet potato in an air fryer. I'm using TikTok for inspiration and My Fitness Pal to scan barcodes of food and track calories and nutrients.

Half of it for me is not buying the 'bad' stuff in the first place so I've made a promise to myself that the only thing I will buy is rich tea biscuits which are lower in calorie and if the kids want a treat then we have to make it because I won't do that just for me and it'll go in packed lunch. Or DC1 can have a treat from pocket money/dedicated thing for them and we'll buy as and when.

I think it's essentially being healthier as a family unit so you stay committed and going for walks together when you do have time.

.

Yoga, meditation, exercise or cold water. Shower, swim. Or for me, every day, a cheapy Amazon tub, icing over at night, in the garden. Just grabbed 2 minutes - it's the nearest thing to meditation. I don't need to try even- my mind stops and refocuses itself.
If you have time find your local bluetits group/ ow social swim group. Facebook is the place for all that.

Can you diet (as in, just, no flour, sugar, alcohol) every second day. Not being too hard on yourself. I used to find it psychologically easier to diet every second day. It's just so much easier. If you're saying no to something in your head, it's just so much easier to think ''I could have that tomorrow'' but sometimes you don't.

I'm doing a version of 5:2 at the moment but not a fast, like you I do not want to raise my cortisol. So I'm eating 800 cals twice a week. That's it, for now. I'll see in 21 days if it's had any effect. I was losing weight very slowly... But if you've just started, that should work for you.

If you're in Ireland have you seen ''half of Carla'' on youtube. She had a lot to lose and has lost it all, whatever crew replaced weightwatchers, she works for them, but she has a lot of videos on youtube. There are lots of facebook groups thatt could give you the support an diet group could give.

@forelogger unfortunately fasting can raise your cortisol. So I do not do a fast (ie, nothing) but it's normal for me to not eat til about 11 as well. I feel that's ok but I wouldn't push it out further when I am hungry.