Dr told me I'm three and a half stone Overweight but I'm in no place

[forelogger]

To accept it or get motivated.
I have every reason to be motivated . But I'm not.

I've three kids, on my own , my knees and ankles are paining me, I've a back injury that can be healed woth walking and im single and would like to feel my best to look my best to meet someone one day.

I don't know how I got to this place.
I can carry two stone over. Im 5'7 but this is a new low for me.
Where do I even begin.

My mood is so low and I feel hopeless and full of despair for the future .
That chat we had was just the mail in the coffin.
AIBU to think I can do this in my own.
I can't afford a club or dietician.

I have so little time for planning or prep and as dr said to me ' once again, it's us women putting ourselves last and waking up unhappy with our weight and fitness one day'
All opinions appreciated and even a kick up the behind .
Thank you for reading.

I lost a similar amount of weight four years ago and have kept it off. I’ve changed all my habits (over time) and am a different creature.

I suggest you just start by calorie counting every single thing that passes your lips. MyFitnessPal is great. Then notice how much you enjoyed each thing you ate. You start to think consciously about your food choices. How much do you actually want that biscuit? Would an apple do? (Sometimes you just need the biscuit). A supermarket sandwich tastes rubbish and has loads of calories and hardly any nutrition. MFP will tell you that. A tuna salad takes minutes to throw together, has few calories and you can eat several veg in one go. You can pick up a banana for 10-20p in any supermarket.

Any calories you cut will result in weight loss, you don’t need to write off whole food groups. If you love chocolate in the evenings, have two squares instead of the whole bar. Replace un-nutrious, unhealthy food with foods full of nutrients, you can almost always eat more of them too.

Eating more nutritious foods boosts your mood and your energy. Moving outdoors will lower your cortisol. Put on some music and get out, the more you move, the more calories you burn. The faster you move, the more you burn. The less you weigh, the easier it is to move. The important thing is to just get out the front door.

@forelogger Are you on HRT? I found getting my hormones balanced helped enormously with motivation. It feels like mid forties become a loooooong slide into weight gain and feeling unmotivated to sort it until I realigned those. I used the TDEE calculator to work out how many calories I needed to be in deficit to lose the weight and keep a spreadsheet. Good luck!

I find then frozen microwaveable bags of rice/grains really handy to have in the freezer. Chuck that with some roasted vegetables (again I have bags of frozen ones) and a lean protein and you have yourself a fast nutritious meal. Bulk out your meals with tons of veg, nothing more depressing when on a diet then tiny portions. I would start by easing yourself in, make some better choices, drink more water and aim for more steps a day. If you currently eat lots of chocolate in the evening don't stop it all at once, just start to cut back a little every few nights. I find once I'm a few weeks in and I'm starting to feel better I always get more motivated and kick it up a notch!

I was 7 stone overweight before Christmas- I've since lost a stone and a half, using Nutracheck and a lot of Louise Parker recipes. They're not fancy, I batch cook a few days in advance because I work and am a single parent so can't be arsing around every day. Ingredients are all normal, I get mine from Aldi, and if there's anything I can't get they're easy to substitute.

Thanks for all your overnight posts.
So many great stories and positive ideas. I need to figure out how many calories I need to spend in a day to lose 1-2 lbs per week. I think that's reasonable and sustainable to begin with ?
That looks like 1250 cal per day I think , if my bmr is 1600?
I will find some YouTube videos to support me at night . Helpful to go to sleep too especially if there is a 🛏 hypnosis element to it !
Does anyone know what a 1250 cal day looks like? I guess lots of bulking veg and fruit to begin anyway?
Maybe there are meal plans on Google . I will check.
Again, thank you all kindly 😊

Agree with this, keeping my protein at about 130g a day means I can average 1500-1600 without feeling really hungry. I’m losing slowly but without much effort and no hunger pangs. First two weeks were a bit hard but protein is the only macro I really look at now.

Take it slow, if you are suffering from stress don’t add stuff too quickly that will make changes harder to keep up. Whatever you do you have to ask yourself “can i keep doing this for a long time”

i reckon with 3.5 stone to lose you’d see an initial downward shift with anything under 1500 cals and walking. Prioritise protein and veg.

If you’ve identified that you are time poor/unprepared then in your case the one change I would make would be to do an online food shop each week.

Set aside more time the first week and properly meal plan, then repeat that exact same shop each week for a month- so you will eat the same meals, snacks etc for a few weeks but it will get you in the zone with the least amount of thinking needed.

You can totally do it. Good luck!

Some free exercise videos for you (presume available in Ireland?)

www.nhs.uk/conditions/nhs-fitness-studio/

Small, sustainable steps are the way to go

Recording your food on My Fitness Pal is easy, and I was surprised to see that my diet was less healthy than I thought

I like a PP's suggestion of focusing on what you can ADD eg an apple, rather than what you LOSE eg chocolate biscuit

Also, think about being a good role model for your children with a healthy lifestyle

There is difference between BMR and TDEE. One is base and one is with your daily expenditure from your normal moving etc.
Don't go too low for you. There are calculators yo calculate how many calories.
For example this tdeecalculator.net/
Then you adjust as you go based on your results in few weeks

My friend has just lost a stone over the last 5 months.
She eats dinner from a small plate now, an old one from the 1970’s, hardly ever drinks alcohol and has stopped snacking. She also does a couple of exercise classes a week.

Be careful eating too much fruit. My family are prone to diabetes my sisters were told two pieces of fruit a day max.

I get you. I was exactly the same and adjusting my diet so I wasn't getting those hunger pangs really has helped me and I've lost 9lb in 5 weeks.

I'm a huge believer in doing it slowly and not denying yourself anything because lifestyle changes for the long term should be the aim.

My biggest change has been making overnight oats with muller yoghurts. I use the toffee or cinnamon ones which are really tasty and quite sweet.

Because it's made I don't need to worry about time in the morning.

Then having cous cous for lunch. Again I make a few days at a time to avoid the lack of time issue.

Boil eggs for a few days.

Swapped crisps for lentil chips. The popper ones are lovely.

I'm also consciously walking more. Just parking a bit further away (which for me is difficult as my ds is disabled and when with him use a disabled bay right outside where we are going!).

Jogging on the spot whilst cooking. Standing to watch tv whilst cooking or inbetween jobs and marching on the spot.

What has surprised me the most is that by eating more healthily and refusing to deny myself nice foods if I want them I've naturally cut back in them. I'm not hungry and so don't want that whole bar of galaxy caramel as a quick fix. I don't want a whole packet of biscuits because I'm full.

I was 14st 9 at the beginning of the year and I'm now 13st 14.

Like you with my height I can carry it ok - but the top end of normal is 11st 12 for up our height.

I'm realistic that's unlikely and so have set myself an initial realistic goal of 13st and after that will consider my next move!

Did you talk to the doctor about how low and hopeless you feel?

I found this thread by chance this morning - on the day I've finally gone to the GP this morning to ask for anti depressants... Lots going on in my life but as a result, or maybe partly because, I'm currently about 6 stone overweight and realise I need to do something about it.

I'm 54, on HRT, recently separated and struggling with all aspects of life, including my weight. Am hoping that Sertraline and making small changes starts to make an impact over the coming months, so will also take on board all the small things that people are suggesting.

A few months ago I was doing some Get Fit with Rick walking exercise videos - they're brilliant! He does 10/15/30 min videos - all walking (but fast!) and to different mainly 80's artists - the get fit with Whitney was definitely my favourite..! I've got out of the habit due to life stuff, but am going to do Whitney today, to try to start the good habits again.

Thanks @forelogger for starting this thread and I hope you have a good day - it's the only place to start 🙂

My friend lost loads of weight just doing Leslie Sansone walking YouTube videos. They are walking on the spot briskly (5 kms in an hour) You could put this on and let the kids do it with you (or not) so you don’t even have to leave the house. On weekends take them out and do walks. Get some healthy snacks in and stop buying junk. You can do this!! I actually singed up for one of the Conqueror virtual walking challenges which has been amazing for me, but I get that’s not so easy when you are a single parent. Good luck OP.

I think dropping to 1250cal might be a bit of a shock, I think you'd still see results with 1500.

Try the Hairy Dieters books. It's full of healthy recipes which are easy & have all the calories written down. I meal plan a whole week and write a long shopping list so I know I have all the ingredients.

My food today (aiming for 1200)

Breakfast: soft boiled egg (72), porridge made with water (111) and handful blueberries (42)

Lunch: chicken soup (162) + apple (75)

Afternoon snack: banana (105)

Dinner: beef Ragu (232) plus green veg (100)
Yoghurt (55)

Mini choc bar (83)

According to mfp I'm a bit high in sugar today but I won't be hungry.

Hope this helps.

I'm delighted that this thread has given some solidarity to others. There seems to be many of us !
I am on hrt.. only recently stabilised so I expect some positive mood changes .. the rage I felt was no one's business !!!
I've loaded up my work bag with fruit, celery sticks, low fat hummus and soups. I will do a tesco online shop through my break or even start to add bits.
I think it's the examining products for calories, working out how much I can eat and prep so I'm going to try to get as much prepped veg to start with .
Maybe some social media calorie deficit experts could help to relieve the boredom of it.
I'm also interested in podcast, Hypnosis , and meditation as I can easily do that in bed . I go to bed very early now for peace and privacy.
My GP agreed that going back to my counsellor was number one to reset.
We are kind of friends so she was very honest about her own attempts to stay within a frame where she was comfortable .
We would have been the same build and always hovered around ten and half stone at school.
She recommended local personal nutritionists just to have that person to motivate me locally but who have strong on line presence also as my phone is always with me and I can and do communicate mostly through it with people .
Gp looks super and you wouldn't think she ever battled with it ! But she does and calorie Counts as she said she had to make completely different meals for herself as chicken and a massive salad followed by yoghurts and fruit will not cut the mustard with her teens... I get that!!
Thank you ,thank you , thank you !

If anyone knows of podcasts, hypnosis on line, videos, audiobooks to support us, I'd really appreciate that. There seems to be endless lists of them but personal recommendations are unbeatable and again ,thanks for all thusfar.

Think you are getting your BMR and your TDEE mixed up.

Most peoples BMR will be around 1400-1600 calories a day, to take away 20% of this is far too much for someone already struggling.

I lost 3 stone a few years ago and what worked for me that was different to what I had done before was to cut down to 1800-1900 calories a day rather than try to cut down to 1200-1500 which was just unsustainable.

I went to Team RH and to James Smith Academy and used their TDEE calculators and basically one told me I needed 1900 cals a day and the other told me 1700 so I compromised and said I would do 1800 which I sometimes went over on.

I didn't care what I ate in those calories and didn't get myself worked up if I ate 800 calories of cake a day and 1,000 calories of other meals. I just stuck to that and lost 3 stone in about 8/9 months.

I do quite a bit of exercise but the calculators for that are ALWAYS wrong! I have tried fit bits, garmin, apple watch, my exercise equipment etc and every single one of them was out as they would say I was burning 900+ of activity calories a day yet simple maths and how much weight I lost over those 9 months proved that not to be the case so I always ignore the exercise and NEVER eat exercise calories back. I lost about 1.2lbs a week, generally by dropping 2-2.5lbs every 12-14 days.

For the first time in my adult life I have also managed to keep it off by sticking with the same approach but having around 2200-2400 calories a day and eating what I like for those calories.

I know not all calories are equal, I know I would be healthier if I ate more protein and veg but somedays I just fancy a cake/ice cream day and that's what I have! One thing I did give up was alcohol as that was pure empty calories.

Good luck, it doesn't have to be too complicated.

re-reading I see you're 50 @forelogger I just went on hrt, tiny patch, and I lost half a kilo finally after three weeks of a plateau.
Not saying that i didn't eat rings around myself the last two years, but I think being 50 can bring with it a load of extra challenges (hormonally)

My BMR is not as as high as the calculators would tell me, due to be short, old, metabolic adaptation, I don't knoiw! But now, if I ate my BMR I'd put on weight!

I must look at the operation transformation site. I stopped watching that show years ago because they started having a few people who ''weren't fat'' in my opinion! I was outraged They may have been overweight medically but to me they looked fine! So in protest I stopped watching. I can laugh at myself now. I think it was a message to the complacent. And I switched off instead of tuning in! I used to like to watch OT feeling (comparatively) slim and by putting people with a BMI of 29 on the show they robbed me of my comfort.

At the moment, i'm trying to ''reverse diet'' 5 days a week and eat only 800 the other two. It's two new to tell if it will work. Week one. I hit a plateau. So I agree it's good to reduce your calories gradually to avoid metabolic adaptation.
If you go down to 1200 your body can adapt so don't go so low (as I did, I regret it now).

I'm in a similar position to you, it all crept on last year, I finally got on the scales after Christmas and from being a stone overweight I'm now 3.5 stone overweight.

I'm concentrating on eating more protein and veg, fairly simple meals, but definitely more veg. I know I feel better when I do. Still eat carbs but try and make most of meal veg and protein.

So I've got frozen fish in that I can cook from frozen, chicken thighs, prawns.

It's working, slowly, but it's working. I'm also walking every day. I used to be fit and getting fitter is motivating me. I'm feeling more like my old self and sleeping better.

Small steps.

And I bought the Paul McKenna book and listened to his hypnosis talks. I think that's helped too....

Do you have stairs at your place of work you can use instead of taking the lift? Can you park a bit further away from work and walk part of the way there? Or go on a brisk walk on your lunch break? Is there a local responsible teenager you could use to watch your kids, just for say 1 hr in the evening while you go on a walk a few times a week?

I lost a stone just by walking more, when my DD was about 2. I felt very down on myself and like I had no time or energy to do it, but I managed it. I didn't really change what I ate, I just prioritised going on a brisk walk every day. It really helped me. You don't have to embark on any kind of fad diet or massive change in the way you live. Just carve out a little bit of time for you every day and it will all add up.

I second trying intermittent fasting. If I stick to 16:8 ( I skip breakfast and cut down on the snacks) with a few 5:2 days thrown in - it really helps to loose the weight without totally depriving yourself.

The 5:2 days can be a bit hard to start with but once you get into a routine it is much easier.

I think it useful not to call it a diet but simply a "way of eating" and the mindset that I might not be able to have that bit of cake today but I can tomorrow, or not feeling guilty about having a little treat with lunch on a non fast day is much easier than totally denying yourself something or giving up on a diet when you fall off the wagon.

Good luck

Please get yourself the book by Jessie Inschape Glucose revolution, easiest weight I have ever los.t a year later its still off, and im ramping up my application of the method as two more stones would be fab, i doubt ill get back to the 11 stone i was when married, but im 60, 5ft 6 and through the menopause
Please try it, it was life changing