DH refusing to consider me getting a boarder in (short term)

[ohblahdeeohblahdahlifegoeson]

Hoping to get some perspective on this as at the moment I feel annoyed that I am being told 'No' to something which doesn't outright affect him (in my opinion)

Short summary,
Husband works away, is home every 2nd weekend.
I'm a SAHM and enjoying it but not enjoying the lack of financial freedom.

I've seen an advert for short term accommodation needed in our area for seasonal workers and as we have plenty of space I thought it would be a great way for me to get a little spending / saving money.

Husband has said an outright no.
His reasoning is that he wouldn't feel safe having someone else in our house but I would only consider a female boarder in any case.

Ironically we live rurally so 90% of the time I here on my own with 2 children so if anything I would feel more safe having someone else live here!

PS, awesome husband, dad and provider in all other ways, I'm just annoyed about this!

Assuming finances are all shared then I can see where both of you are coming from. I don’t know sorry op!

I'm a SAHM and enjoying it but not enjoying the lack of financial freedom.

Do you have access to all the family money?

personally the only boarders i would ever consider would be female foreign students attending well known universities. my neighbor is strict like a true den mother gets lovely young ladies that are well screened who's parents sign agreement forms (related to time to be home eating cooking cleaning responsibilities etc.)
in the past she has also boarded teen boys who are part of the hockey league (she did say cooking for them was a skill to stay within budget) but the team paid her for billeting the boys.

Why don't you have financial freedom? Do you share access to all family income?

I can see his worry too be fair. What sort of seasonal work? Would someone doing it have transport to live rurally anyway. Bit risky having someone who's background you probably can't check living with your dc imo.

I think he has a point. I wouldn’t want strangers around my children, male or female. At a push I may accept a post graduate student, but even then I’d be exceptionally careful about references, contracts and boundaries, but I’d have to be really struggling for money to resort to that.

Does DH working away leave you strapped? Is there another option, maybe some WFH or part time work?

How many years do you expect to be a SAHM ?

ODFOD

I'm a SAHM and enjoying it but not enjoying the lack of financial freedom.
Why don’t you have financial freedom and saving, spending money? Is money tight all round for the family or just you – does your husband have savings, spare money to spend, a pension? Those should all be yours too. If he has all that, you don’t need a lodger, you need to consider whether you’re being financially abused.

Lack of financial freedom is what would make me feel unsafe.
Does he have any better suggestions for additional income that he deems to be safe? Is he pursuing a better paid job? If not, is he really that great a provider...

Ok this is helpful, thank you. It's helpful to read that many of you agree with his point of view. I can be more flippant when it comes to safety (probably quite naive) so thought he was being overly protective.

No we don't have joint bank accounts (purely because I would have to do all the chopping and changing and I haven't bothered yet. We are with different banks)
I do however have access to his bank account, pay slips, and have a debit card for his account which I use for everything.

We are surviving ok on one income but we are also TTC and as we live rurally it doesn't stack up for me to return to work as it will cost too much in petrol and childcare. Plus i have plenty to do around the farm each day.
Life is good! I would just enjoy having some extra disposable income.
BUT having read the comments I think I'll pull my head in and take his concerns on board.

Off to check out only fans ... must be a niche for mucking out pigs and chooks in bare feet surely??

To me it is not a safety issue I just wouldn't want border living with us, they can be the most perfectly helpful and nicest person in the world I just wouldn't want it

What does "lack of financial freedom" mean? Having another adult around only every second weekend sounds quite lonely if you have young children, as having little kids but no other adult usually means you can't go out to socialise in the evenings and might spend an awful lot of time with no conversation other than things like "Truck!" and "Mumma, want milk". Do you have in-person social interaction with other adults? Do you have any time to yourself? Is your husband fair about giving you access to family money and free time (e.g. paying babysitters) so that you can be something other than a 24/7 caregiver for small children? I think having a boarder in this situation could be awkward as that person would have access to your home where you keep private things like your banking papers. So I can understand your DH's pov. However if this is just one more area where he says "no" to ensure that you stay in your little SAHM box being nice and obedient and having no life other than caring for the children, then I wouldn't blame you trying to find a way to fix that.

agree with aloris.
i'd be concerned about poss ID fraud, or theft.
or nosiness, going through your things,

@MrsTerryPratchett
🤣🤣🤣, then 😳😳.
But what is ODFOD ? 🥺

Yeah that's a great suggestion. Creep.

Oh, Do F Off Dear (I assume!)

ODFOD is "oh do fuck off dear".

<helpful>.

Thanks @nozbottheblue

X-posted.