DH refusing to consider me getting a boarder in (short term)

[ohblahdeeohblahdahlifegoeson]

Hoping to get some perspective on this as at the moment I feel annoyed that I am being told 'No' to something which doesn't outright affect him (in my opinion)

Short summary,
Husband works away, is home every 2nd weekend.
I'm a SAHM and enjoying it but not enjoying the lack of financial freedom.

I've seen an advert for short term accommodation needed in our area for seasonal workers and as we have plenty of space I thought it would be a great way for me to get a little spending / saving money.

Husband has said an outright no.
His reasoning is that he wouldn't feel safe having someone else in our house but I would only consider a female boarder in any case.

Ironically we live rurally so 90% of the time I here on my own with 2 children so if anything I would feel more safe having someone else live here!

PS, awesome husband, dad and provider in all other ways, I'm just annoyed about this!

I have done this for a number of years: international students who attend boarding school in school holidays and young people at English language schools in term time. It has its issues and is not particularly well paid but where the money was a luxury a few years ago and paid for holidays and home improvements, I now rely on it. Happy to answer questions if you like. The issues are minor irritations on the great scale of things. Never had any rudeness, poor behaviour, significant damage, theft or safety issues of any sort. Students have all been vetted and if there had been any serious problems I have a point of contact and could have got rid of them almost immediately.

Of course it will affect him. At the least, he will be away worrying about the safety of his children.

Taking in random seasonal workers when you live rurally is potentially high risk in my opinion and, even if you are not concerned about your own safety, irresponsible if you have children.

I see your husbands side tbh. When my boys were younger and shared a room we had a spare room and we had foreign language students. They were usually from a university- we asked for females only and for the large part absolutely fine. We had one who kept having panic attacks, would disappear for a day or two at a time (we asked that students texted us if they weren’t coming home for food or were staying out for the night as, you know, we want to know they’re ok) and was just scared of life tbh. With two young children it was just a bit too much tbh. I would t be in a rush tbh and I don’t think I’d do anything f like air b n b or get a lodger with children. Unless we knew the people x

Lots of people have boarders - I should think very few turn out to be criminals. Personally, unless I really needed to, I would prefer not to share my home with someone I don't know, but if I had very little disposable cash I would consider it.

Boarders in your own home wouldn't have the same rights as someone renting an unfurnished property. If the arrangement didn't work out, you could ask the person to leave and give them a reasonable time to find something else.

There's a lot of negativity here. Presumably there would be an agency involved so there really isn't much randomness and they would have some responsibility for the boarders?? I find it quite easy to get over the not wanting to share my house instinct with being able to make up to £7500 a year tax free. Yes there's cooking and cleaning (I have to provide a hot meal for my students in the evening) but it's not 'work' the same way that work is work. The money isn't great but I don't know how else you'd get that sort of money tax free legally.

Also think some of the negativity may be a bit of xenophobia. You can vet people or the agency you're working with does, and take references etc. As I say, never had a whiff of trouble and I've taken in about 30 students in total over a number of years short term from 2 days to 9 months but usually a week or two weeks.

We had lodgers for years to make ends meet when mortgage interest was very high. Usually we had students, through the university accommodation bureau, but sometimes Monday to Friday people who worked locally and went home at weekends. We rarely had problems and the money was very welcome, but be careful because there is a limit to what you can earn tax free.
Depending on where you live the other alternative is to have people staying who have come to learn English. Sometimes they just come for a week but you can have some who come for much longer. If they come through a language school you can be pretty sure they'll be reliable - and often the school will pay their rent.

The best thing about having people who come for a short period is that it really doesn't matter whether you get on with them or not. And if they come for longer through a language school you can ask for them to be moved if you don't like them, though we've never had this problem.

@angela99999 the limit for tax is £7500. You'd have to earn what 9k gross in work work to get the same amount from a lodger. Maths is not my strong point so might be wrong.

Its a bit complicated because you can either run it more as a business and claim expenses or you can run it as just taking a lodger. The limit for the latter used to be £84 per week, but you're right, it is £7500 now under the "Rent a Room" scheme.

Why is it him who gets to make the final decision when you are the one most affected? What happened to equality?

Having a lodger is the easiest way to make money AND you get company and a bit more security by not being alone.

On SpareRoom, where landlords and lodgers find each other, I have seen loads of adverts in which the host has children so clearly it's not an issue.

Trouble is you have to get your husband's approval.

I wouldn’t be happy with having a boarder unless we were in financial dire straits.
I’d feel unsafe having a stranger in the house with me and my dc, however nice they appeared to be. If I worked away then during my time at home I’d not want a stranger about the place, I’d feel intruded upon.