Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

H arrested for crashing car..over the limit. What happens

264 replies

user1471427614 · 05/02/2023 22:53

Husband has just phoned on his way to work to tell me hes crashed his car into a lamp post. He says police are there..hes ok..no one else involved. I tell him ilk phone work and let them know. In the time it takes to do that hes been breathised and blow 81 and has been arrested. I only know as the policeman answered the phone.

Husband has a problem with drink but only works two nights. I didnt know he was drinking while driving. He lost his licence for this when he was 17.

I've never been involved with the police. Does anyone know what might happen. They have taken him to the custody suite. When do they get realised is it mornings or could it be in the night. Does anyone know what might happen ie chargers. Points. Prison??? I've got no idea

We have 4 kids at home. He does the school run (walks). I'm guessing that I will have to do that tomorrow (at least and go to work late.

I'm sure your agree that I'm not be unreasonable to tell him that any drinking stops now.

Any advice or handheold would be appreciated I'm shaking and dont know what to do

OP posts:
XDownwiththissortofthingX · 05/02/2023 23:13

user1471427614 · 05/02/2023 23:09

Thanks for the link...depressing reading but it answering alot of questions.

Looking if this I think I'm right in thinking he will go to court. Again please excuse my ignorance. Does this mean he will have a criminal record.

Either way looks like he will loose his job as he has to drive to get there.

To answer questions hes 44. Last issuse he was 17.

I am of course fuming

Show quote history

Previous offence will have been expunged long ago then.

He won't have a 'criminal' record, but it is an offence that is required to be disclosed to some employers, and it's best he comes clean straight away with his current. It has absolutely no impact on most jobs.

He will be discharged from custody and given a court date, which is pretty much a perfunctory exercise. Plead guilty, take the standard ban, fine usually varies dependant on circumstances, previous, remorse, mitigating/aggravating factors etc

UnaVaca · 05/02/2023 23:13

Your poor kids :(

Original poster
user1471427614 · 05/02/2023 23:14

Minimalme · 05/02/2023 23:06

I think you need to accept that if his alcoholism could be stopped by being told to stop, he wouldn't be in this mess.

It's great he walks to drop your kids at school but he is still endangering my life, my kids lives and everyone else who gets in a car.

What an absolute shit.

Thanks for the reply, I just need someone to talk to as I'm shaking. I cant believe him

Agreed. As far as I was aware he wasnt drinking at all on the days that he was at work.

No one should drink and drive. He is of course an idoit (feel free to replace idiot with stronger words)

OP posts:
mugandtea · 05/02/2023 23:14

Sorry OP, but how are you with someone who ultimately could've killed other pedestrians and whilst driving pissed?! Shocking

Itsatwinthing · 05/02/2023 23:14

This will absolutely go on his criminal record once he is convicted. I'm assuming he's not going to try and go "not guilty" because that would be both an incredibly shitty and incredibly stupid thing to do if he has been caught red handed. I feel sorry for you and your children. I can only hope this is some kind of rock bottom for him and he realises that he needs to address his alcohol use as it is basically luck that he didn't kill someone tonight.

hellobethyname · 05/02/2023 23:14

Yes drink driving is a criminal offence and it will be on pnc .

Police national computer. It is a criminal offence and will show .

hellobethyname · 05/02/2023 23:15

Opl is an absolute offence - he will be convicted.

It matters not what he pleads .

DidyouNO · 05/02/2023 23:15

Shame it isn't prison time. A drunk driver killed my brother. No sympathy whatsoever!!

StillMedusa · 05/02/2023 23:15

My son was caught drink driving when he was 19 ..no excuse he was an idiot and genuinely thought he'd be ok after two glasses of wine. He wasn't.

He blew at 48mg ... (so hell of a lot less than your dh) and he lost his license and was banned for a year. Your dh will definitely get a court summons a ban and a fine.
He's 30 now and has never had a drink if driving since; it was a serious wake up call.

SofiaSoFar · 05/02/2023 23:15

He will go to court, yes.

He will get a criminal record, yes. Drink driving isn't a simple motoring offence it's a criminal offence and is permanently recorded even once spent - i.e. it will always come up in searches.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this, OP, but on the positive side it's not exactly an unusual offence (unfortunately) and not something that would adversely affect most people in terms of work, etc., other than if the job requires a licence or if being unable to drive makes it impossible to get there.

hellobethyname · 05/02/2023 23:16

If he had killed someone then it would be different- different charges .

The fact he hasn't means he is just charged opl .

Original poster
user1471427614 · 05/02/2023 23:17

FourAndTwentyBlackbirdsBakedInAPie · 05/02/2023 23:12

He will more than likely get a ban and a fine.

You need to think about what you're going to do though op.

He's done something so dangerous he could easily have killed multiple people.

You say he is a problem drinker, I don't really know what that means to you, but it's likely not going to be as easy as telling him to stop, assuming he drinks a lot each day.

Your kids will also see his drinking habits, and what you put up with, and that will be their normal.

I would be insisting on a gp appointment ASAP to discuss how to safely stop drinking, and I would also be asking him to attend AA meetings, and possibly seeking support from AA yourself (they run groups aimed at families and friends too).

There's a lot for you to consider if you're planning on remaining in a realstionship with him.

Thank you. I really dont know what to do long term.

Definitely go as I dont think he can deny the problem now. I didnt know there were as support groups for families...thanks

OP posts:
stitchinguru · 05/02/2023 23:18

You don’t always get a fine…
but you will always get a driving ban and it will show on an enhanced DBS.

AdobeWanKenobi · 05/02/2023 23:18

user1471427614 · 05/02/2023 23:17

Thank you. I really dont know what to do long term.

Definitely go as I dont think he can deny the problem now. I didnt know there were as support groups for families...thanks

Show quote history

Get out. It’s not going to get any better.
for the sake of your children, leave and build a better life.

Mydogatemypurse · 05/02/2023 23:18

Its almost 3x over the limit so up to 18 months ban, can be reduced by a third if he pays £250 for the drink drivers course. Max 300 hours unpaid work and if he has rehab needs that have contributed to the offence... depression, finances, drink problem up to 15 days probation to be completed in 12 months

Original poster
user1471427614 · 05/02/2023 23:19

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 05/02/2023 23:13

Previous offence will have been expunged long ago then.

He won't have a 'criminal' record, but it is an offence that is required to be disclosed to some employers, and it's best he comes clean straight away with his current. It has absolutely no impact on most jobs.

He will be discharged from custody and given a court date, which is pretty much a perfunctory exercise. Plead guilty, take the standard ban, fine usually varies dependant on circumstances, previous, remorse, mitigating/aggravating factors etc

Show quote history

Thank you for the advice

OP posts:
hellobethyname · 05/02/2023 23:19

stitchinguru · 05/02/2023 23:18

You don’t always get a fine…
but you will always get a driving ban and it will show on an enhanced DBS.

He will get a fine . A ban and points .
I work in this legal field .

Cas112 · 05/02/2023 23:20

He will get banned for about. Year maybe 18months and have to take a drink driving course

Theluggage15 · 05/02/2023 23:20

If he doesn’t get help for his alcohol issues after this then I wouldn’t be staying with him. This should be a huge wake up call, he’s very lucky he didn’t hurt anyone.

Original poster
user1471427614 · 05/02/2023 23:21

DidyouNO · 05/02/2023 23:15

Shame it isn't prison time. A drunk driver killed my brother. No sympathy whatsoever!!

Sorry about your brother. I didnt ask for sympathy. I asked what would happen as I need to plan for my family. I agree what he has done is unacceptable

OP posts:
TheOriginalEmu · 05/02/2023 23:21

He sounds like he has a real drink problem that needs addressing. At the moment that is more important than his driving license. My ex was an addict and you need to decide for yourself what your bottom line is: what you are not prepared to accept under any circumstances. It’s hard and you will feel guilty, but in order for him to be ready to sober up you need to hold those lines.
for instance if you decide that you are not willing to be in a relationship with a person who drink drives then you need to make it very clear to him. My ex got out patient and a short inpatient stay to get sober. It’s very important that he doesn’t just stop drinking cold Turkey.

Mydogatemypurse · 05/02/2023 23:22

user1471427614 · 05/02/2023 23:19

Thank you for the advice

Show quote history

He will have a criminal record. It will be an excess alcohol offence. Its beyond just a ban and fine as higher end reading.
The previous offence wont indicate a pattern of ongoing behaviour, but it will indicate that he has the tenancy to make poor decisions under the influence of drink, poor decisions that put others at risk. Whilst that lenghth of time is usually written off a similar offence is concerning.

hellobethyname · 05/02/2023 23:22

If he's done this twice likely he will again .

The penalty will be much worse when he kills someone . He didn't learn first time . He's not going to learn now

I'd be looking at extracting myself from this drunk I'm afraid .

Original poster
user1471427614 · 05/02/2023 23:24

He does suffer from depression and anxiety.

OP posts:
OntarioBagnet · 05/02/2023 23:25

They won’t interview him until he’s sober, so he will sleep it off. Then be interviewed. He will lose his licence for a minimum of a year. The insurance won’t pay for any damage to the car. He will get a fine or possible community service as well.