H arrested for crashing car..over the limit. What happens

[user1471427614]

Husband has just phoned on his way to work to tell me hes crashed his car into a lamp post. He says police are there..hes ok..no one else involved. I tell him ilk phone work and let them know. In the time it takes to do that hes been breathised and blow 81 and has been arrested. I only know as the policeman answered the phone.

Husband has a problem with drink but only works two nights. I didnt know he was drinking while driving. He lost his licence for this when he was 17.

I've never been involved with the police. Does anyone know what might happen. They have taken him to the custody suite. When do they get realised is it mornings or could it be in the night. Does anyone know what might happen ie chargers. Points. Prison??? I've got no idea

We have 4 kids at home. He does the school run (walks). I'm guessing that I will have to do that tomorrow (at least and go to work late.

I'm sure your agree that I'm not be unreasonable to tell him that any drinking stops now.

Any advice or handheold would be appreciated I'm shaking and dont know what to do

I guarantee you the alcohol will be the cause of that or at the least making it worse.

alcohol is a depressive and the worst thing for anyone to use if they have depression.

Hit dogs holler.

I think calling him an idiot or saying he’s a problem with alcohol is minimising it, he is clearly an alcoholic.

so for me, yes he will loose his licence and get a fine, but facing his alcoholism is critical. He was drunk and driving and going to work drunk too. I think it’s fair to assume it’s not the first time.

so dealing with the fact he’s an alcoholic is key here

Exactly this. What a waste! Get rid of him OP. You'll be doing yourself and your kids a MASSIVE favour.

Alcohol misuse is a coping mechanism. For what only he and his therapist can work out

If he wants a reduced sentence he needs to immediately get himself into alcohol recovery. This may include going through a detox facility.

I’m sorry you’ve had four children with a man that only works two times per week and is an alcoholic. You and your children deserve better.

My dad was a drunk growing up and it has traumatised me. He had never been booked for drunk driving but I absolutely know he has driven drunk. It is awful seeing a parent who isn’t in control of themselves. I feel really sorry for your children. I hope he can stick to recovery.

Please, as a child of an alcoholic, don't stay with him for the sake of your children. He's doing untold damage to them now.

It feels lonely when your in a relationship with an alcoholic, but their behaviour is NOT unique and a lot of others have experienced it. Please considering getting support for you and your children. There is nothing you can do for him, he needs to do it himself.

This man contributes zero to your life and is actively draining you and your kids of cash and resources, parasitically. Your kids being made to live with an alcoholic is on the list of Adverse Childhood Experiences, what’s being done to mitigate this and prioritise them? (Since this must have been an ongoing issue for some time). There’s nothing you yourself can do to help the drunk driver, that’s on him.

either way I have to try and help him as we do have kids

That should be your reason to get away from him.

This is his chance to get a full time job for which he doesn't need to drive and which will mean he has less time to think about drinking. If he combines that with going to AA and getting treatment that would show a real intention to change. Nothing much less would do.

He will most likely be banned as a minimum 12 months maybe longer if this is a second offence. He will also have to undertake a drink driving awareness course I think it’s a few days course. This happened to a family member of mine.

I read 200 posts and didn't see if anyone had posted this link from the Gov.UK site about drink driving penalties
www.gov.uk/drink-driving-penalties#:~:text=unfit%20through%20drink-,You%20may%20get%3A,convicted%20twice%20in%2010%20years)

www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/alcohol-and-the-law/drink-driving-penalties

I would, without a shadow of a doubt, be contacting my own solicitor to begin separation and divorce from someone who has done this, not once but twice.

Don't get sucked in to trying to rehabilitate him. Despite the lengthy gap of time between his first offence and this one, it is a repeat pattern. Something caused him to do it when he was 17, and something caused him to do it again yesterday. It will happen again when he has a similar trigger. His drinking, his depression and his drunk-driving are his issues to resolve, not yours. You now have the job of keeping your children safe and guiding them through the next few days, weeks, months and probably years without his involvement.

I send you strength to get through this and hope your children can learn from this.

Just wondering - has it been over 10 years since his first offence? If he did the first offence at aged 17 and is 27 now (with kids and a family which is possible), he could be considered a high-risk offender. If it's been longer than 10 years, it probably won't come up in court.

his mental health is not good as his dad died a month ago so they did take that into account
Obviously he'll be suffering at his Dad's death but why in the name of God does it invite leniency for drunk driving?
Being upset isn't a mental impairment.

Why are you even with this loser? Obviously a big drinker, drink drives, only works part time. Why are your standards so low?

It will and should invite leniency. We do have room for leniency in our justice system. Taking into account recent bereavement and the fact he didn't hurt anyone will be part of the sentencing.

I’m pretty certain that you can pay the fine in instalments. You can set up a payment plan with the courts and as long as he sticks to it they’re ok. If he can’t or doesn’t pay it I believe he could possibly do jail time. He is also likely to be charged for the lamp post removal and replacement.
sometimes the court will order him to attend rehab, or at-least I believe they used to.

If as you’ve stated he looses his job then presumably he won’t have any money to buy alcohol with. Personally I wouldn’t give him access to any accounts. He will have to get a job locally that he can walk or bus to.

reading your updates I would say he’s been somewhat useless for a while, what he earns clearly goes on alcohol, he would’ve hidden bottles around the house and be secretly drinking without your knowledge.
I appreciate you have children together but what is the point in having him there if he contributes nothing!!!!
if you stay with him and he agrees I’d ask for him to be admitted for the rehab/withdrawal stage as personally I wouldn’t want that round my children (bad moods etc)..
This isn’t your fault, don’t let him say it is…
I hope you managed some sleep and hope he pulls himself together now and gets the help he clearly needs

I've yet to meet an alcoholic who isn't anxious and depressed.

Op, if you are contemplating trying to help him (and for the record, you can't help him) ask him if he thinks he is an alcoholic.

You need to call him an alcoholic to his face and watch the reaction.

It will tell you whether he can be saved.

This happened to one of my neighbours (also an alcoholic).

he got a hefty fine and a 12 month ban. He’s back drinking and driving again (I’ve seen it) but his wife thinks he’s given up.

Morning Op,

My now late ex DH was an alcoholic. My rock bottom came when I arrived home
from work to find him passed out upstairs having collected our 12mDD from her childminder whilst absolutely pissed as a fart. DD was safe , and asleep in her cot but he’d somehow manage to trash my entire kitchen, in the process smashing windows and breaking a near indestructible Le Cruseut griddle pan.

Being with an alcoholic is à terrifying way to live. That anxiety is beyond exhausting.

For me, I had to find a way to get him to leave the family home. It took a psychotic break outside my flat for him to be sectioned and finally away from me and DD. DD was 13 when he took his own life and had been estranged from him for some time. I know this reads like a Take A Break article, but alcohol abuse is frighteningly present in so many homes , and while the media spotlight is on street drugs and people living on ‘Benefit Street ‘ I truly believe that the amount of alcohol consumed on middle class sofas from Loaf and IKEA is the bigger danger facing our population as a whole.

It’s very easy to end up with an alcoholic and much harder to separate. But it is absolutely possible. Don’t wait until something worse happens . Because there is always something worse around
the corner in situations like this , imo.

Have a look at tne resources posted on this thread for partners and children if alcohol abusers. There is help out there and support makes all the difference.

Good luck Op

Your response to my post is unhelpful.

Thanks for shitting on my opinion, you're right, I meant to be entirely unhelpful, didnt I? Well done, thanks for picking on my post and making me feel shit for trying to offer some perspective on the seriousness of the situation.

Please say that you've contacted your local police station to report it when you've seen it happening (the drinking and driving bit particularly).

Obviously the OP realises the seriousness of the situation, I don't think reminding her that her dh could have killed a child is at all helpful.

A friend of mine was caught over the limit about 30 years ago. She was more than twice the legal limit.
She was taken to the station, arrested and charged and put in a cell overnight. I seem to remember she could still drive until she went to court for the offence. It was in another part of the country than where she lived, so she had to go to court there. She was banned for two years and fined - I can't remember how much but I think it was quite a lot.
She had to have a medical before she got her licence back - she was heavily pregnant when that happened, and they took bloods, etc.
It affected her insurance for years after and even fairly recently affected a visa application for the US.
I think it was a huge wake up call for her - she had been really ill with depression (not excusing her, but I think it affected her judgement). We were all so shocked when it happened. She never touches a drop if driving now, in fact hardly drinks at all. She once told me it's the thing in her life that she is most ashamed of.

Having a disability doesn’t stop you being driven as opposed to driving. Unless their drink was spiked or the vehicle moved a very short distance it might be that your friend wasn’t entirely truthful. Reading what constitutes special reasons the rules are quite specific and exceptional hardship cannot be used for drink driving offences.
www.drinkdriving.org/drink_driving_special_reasons.php