H arrested for crashing car..over the limit. What happens

[user1471427614]

Husband has just phoned on his way to work to tell me hes crashed his car into a lamp post. He says police are there..hes ok..no one else involved. I tell him ilk phone work and let them know. In the time it takes to do that hes been breathised and blow 81 and has been arrested. I only know as the policeman answered the phone.

Husband has a problem with drink but only works two nights. I didnt know he was drinking while driving. He lost his licence for this when he was 17.

I've never been involved with the police. Does anyone know what might happen. They have taken him to the custody suite. When do they get realised is it mornings or could it be in the night. Does anyone know what might happen ie chargers. Points. Prison??? I've got no idea

We have 4 kids at home. He does the school run (walks). I'm guessing that I will have to do that tomorrow (at least and go to work late.

I'm sure your agree that I'm not be unreasonable to tell him that any drinking stops now.

Any advice or handheold would be appreciated I'm shaking and dont know what to do

You pay all the bills.

He barely works, and what he earns he spends.

When he incurs a fine you pay it. You will also pay the increased insurance premiums and the cost of repairing the car, no doubt.

You'll also do his share of the child related responsibilities innthe morning and have to go to your own job late because he's in police custody, sleeping it off.

It looks to me as if this man brings absolutely nothing to your family. In fact, he is costing you in every way.

OP, you have done nothing wrong.

This is his problem, not yours. It has become your problem however because alcoholism impacts on all aspects of family life.

Please remember that this is his problem and for him to address. Get support for yourself and your children. Put your own needs first.

I am sure your husband will be signposted to sources of support but, as you know, only he can do something about that. Prioritise yourself.

And for those posters who show an utter lack of empathy for the OP, you are a disgrace. She has done nothing wrong here. Like most things in life, until it happens to you, people have no idea how they will respond. No idea at all.

I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this OP. I can’t imagine what must be going through your head. It will be hard but you will get through this. Do remember to take care of yourself. Lots of deep breaths.

that isnt correct.support is key for people recovering from addiction.
its down to them but support and love and care is also esssential.and the outcomes of recovery when the person has this are life changing

Pretty much this I’m afraid. Easier said than done, I know.

If you split now, I presume you won’t be liable for the fine. He isn’t bringing much to your life and the money you save on not clothing /feeding him and the decrease in council tax could go towards wrap around care.

I imagine that’s for people, who want to stop. And op shouldn’t be guilted into standing by her man.

I think you're going to have to decide if you want to live this life with an alcoholic or not? I'm guessing that since he's only working 2 days per week, not contributing financially and you're already aware he's got a drink problem, there have been quite a few conversations already?

Whilst some people do get help and manage to turn their life around, these people are in the minority. I read a few years ago AAs success rate was 5%. Granted, it was a few years ago and things may have changed, but he's not going to change unless he really wants to. He will probably feel remorseful tomorrow as he's been caught and quite likely will loose his job, but can you trust him not to be back on it by the end of the week?

I'd just get shot of him to be honest. Your got the children to think about as well as yourself, and you're just gonna end up being dragged down by him.

Why are you with this man when you know he has a bad drinking problem. He hasn't learnt from when he was 17 till now. He isn't going to change unless he seriously wants to and you and your children are all being harmed by his problem. Do you even trust him to walk your kids to school? I mean how drunk is he while doing that?

I'm struggling to understand why you think you will be responsible for the fine for his drink driving?!

Under no circumstances pay his fine. A court fine is a punishment for the individual committing the offence, and if you mop up his mistakes for him, how the hell will he ever learn to take responsibility for his own actions. He needs to get off his arse, get a full time job - even if his has to crawl to work - and become a contributing member of both your household and society.

He's meant to be your husband, not another child, and he needs to step up and behave like one.

So you're saying she should be there no matter what.........oh stop. There comes a point where you need to let go and save yourself and your kids. He will change if he wants to. She can't control that fact

With respect OP, I am staggered at your level of nonchalance. You don’t seem to truly grasp the magnitude of what he’s done. Do you think this is the first time this has happened and he just “happened” to have got caught? He clearly goes to work in this state - what job does he do?

If he was on his way to work then where had he been all evening? If he was at home then how on earth did you not notice the amount he was drinking? I have a very sad feeling that you knew full well what was going on and just buried your head in the sand, and frankly, that isn’t helping anyone. Least of all your poor children.

if he has damaged street furniture there might be a bill to pay to the council for repairs as well.

A fully comprehensive policy effectively becomes third party. The street lamp repairs will be covered.

Op I am really sorry you are in this situation. I have an alcoholic xh. Firstly I recommend al anon. Secondly he probably has depression and anxiety because of the alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant. My ex used to take anti depressants but drink stupid amounts.
I am sorry to say alcoholics are prone to lying as they lie to themselves daily and they hide their drinking. He may say all the right things but judge him by his actions. You can't change him, he has to want to change. He may also use this as an excuse to drunk more (in secret). No trying to keep sober to drive, no job etc.
I wish you all the strength in dealing with this.

I think the insurance will pay for that. We were hit by a drunk driver and they paid the damage to our car, just not hers.

He needs to change now and if he won’t, Ltb. He needs to get a full time job too… which Will be hard given he’s a criminal.

Mandatory ban. Exacerbated by the crash. Fine

Surely insurance is invalidated by wilful criminality? Insurers usually pay up, then can pursue the individual for costs separately. I wouldn’t be surprised if they put a charging order on the house. Why should his insurance lose out?

It won’t pay for the damage to their own vehicle but third party losses are covered.

Oh maybe then, I hadn’t thought of them pursuing costs for other damages afterwards, I always just thought it reverts to a third party policy.

It does. Imagine if it had been worse, another vehicle or pedestrians hit sustaining life changing injuries. The offender has no assets and the victim receives nothing. Not everyone owns a property, if they do there’s probably a mortgage against it. A court will not award compensation that effectively bankrupts the defendant. The victim shouldn’t be penalised further.

Yes, I get that the insurance pays out initially for third party stuff. But I can also see that perhaps after the payout they might try and pursue the policy holder for that money, don’t know if it actually happens or not like a pp said but nothing would surprise me.

when were were hit by the drunk driver it was the quickest settlement by another insurance company I’ve had in my life. They had our car picked up the next morning, all repairs paid for, no quibbling at all.

And the woman who hit us was 3.5x over the limit. The police said as it was so much over she might go to prison but she didn’t. So I can’t imagine there would be a custodial sentence here.

Oh I really feel for you and your children. What he has done is despicable! Your children could have woken up this morning with a dead father!

I know you're all over the place with the shock of it all but you must stop taking on all the burden from this man.
It is not up to you to get help for him, it is up to him!!!

This might be the wake up call that spurs him into getting help but for me, that would be away from the home and he'd have to prove he'd sorted his life out. If indeed you ever wanted him back.

Your children deserve a better father and you deserve a better husband. I'm so sorry he's putting you all through this

Unlikely he'll go to prison, the minimum ban is 12 months, but as this is his second offence (there's no time limit on dd), it could be 18 months plus. It'll also be a nightmare for him to get insurance in the future, likely to be in the 1000s when he comes to renew. L

His fine can be split into monthly payments, it'll be inline with what he can afford, but him losing his job won't mean he can pay pennies, it'll likely be split into 6 monthly payments.

Tbh no point getting a solicitor. He might as well self represent, save your money and take what's coming to him.