H arrested for crashing car..over the limit. What happens

[user1471427614]

Husband has just phoned on his way to work to tell me hes crashed his car into a lamp post. He says police are there..hes ok..no one else involved. I tell him ilk phone work and let them know. In the time it takes to do that hes been breathised and blow 81 and has been arrested. I only know as the policeman answered the phone.

Husband has a problem with drink but only works two nights. I didnt know he was drinking while driving. He lost his licence for this when he was 17.

I've never been involved with the police. Does anyone know what might happen. They have taken him to the custody suite. When do they get realised is it mornings or could it be in the night. Does anyone know what might happen ie chargers. Points. Prison??? I've got no idea

We have 4 kids at home. He does the school run (walks). I'm guessing that I will have to do that tomorrow (at least and go to work late.

I'm sure your agree that I'm not be unreasonable to tell him that any drinking stops now.

Any advice or handheold would be appreciated I'm shaking and dont know what to do

No one will make a drinker stop drinking unless they want to. It’s for him to do. You will wind up trying to support him and do everything, you will absorb 100 per cent of the heartache and you will have none of the control. It’s a fool’s errand trying to stop him.

Sadly @JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater is right.

I’m sorry this has happened to you.

Staying with him “for the children” is not necessarily the right thing to do either.
My SIL’s late husband was an alcoholic. The children are grown up now but they hated their dad for what he did to their mum and lack respect for their mum for enabling his habit and not leaving him.

The hardest thing to do is to not deal with any shit that happens to an alcoholic. If they fall over and end up with their head in the dog bowl leave them there, don’t get them upstairs to bed. Don’t make them comfortable, don’t do things for them and don’t give them access to any money or car keys.

It's never quite that simple in real life.
This man will always be in their life in some way, even if the marriage ends.
This man is the father of the children and will be entitled to shared custody of them. They will have to co-parent regardless. A DD charge will not change this.

Did you hear from him @user1471427614? I hope you're having a good night. It must all be a huge shock.

The depression and anxiety is caused by the alcohol.

To be honest I think this would be the end of my marriage. He could have killed or given someone life changing injuries.

not necessarily. the addiction could be because he suffers wth these things infact often it is this way round.they drink because of those mental illness's

I agree, this was the case with my ex. However, it's a vicious circle. Alcohol is a short term fix that causes more depression and anxiety. I know I have a low mood and anxiety after a night of just 3 or 4 drinks. I can't imagine how awful I'd feel mentally if I drank heavily every night.

I have depression and anxiety. It doesn’t make me misuse alcohol. It’s up to the person suffering to find appropriate ways to manage their condition.

If it was that bloody simple noone would have the illnesses would they!
And you don't have his depression or anxiety,life,circumstances so it doesn't matter what you do to cope.

It doesn’t matter what his depression etc is. It doesn’t mean it’s ok to misuse drink and expect his family to suffer. His choices are up to him but it’s not ok to put kids through this.

Hope
youre ok @user1471427614

No one is saying it’s ok. But loads of people self medicate when they can’t cope with their mental illness. It’s not an excuse, but an explanation.

So? The OP and family should suffer because of his choices then?

That’s on him. It’s not for the law to say “ah well he has a wife and children, let’s not use the full force of the law against him”. What a crock of shit.

@user1471427614 how have things panned out for you ?
It's very tough when children are involved. You want to protect them as much as possible.