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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Deliveroo Driver knocked at my door asking for money.

185 replies

avamiah · 05/02/2023 20:50

A couple of hours ago there was a knock at my front door so as it’s already dark by then I asked who it was and he said your delivery driver so I opened it as I was expecting a Amazon delivery and I was shocked to see a Deliveroo driver.I recognised him as a driver who has delivered to me on numerous occasions.He said he been waiting for a order from me but none had come and could I help him out with any spare change.
I was speechless to say the least and said No and shut the door and have been in shock for the last few hours thinking did that just happen.
To say it’s freaked me out is a understatement and I would appreciate any advice.
Thank You

OP posts:
piesforever · 06/02/2023 11:08

That's really sad. Desperate times.

MarieRoseMarie · 06/02/2023 11:37

you should stop tipping cash and just tip on the app.

Crunchymum · 06/02/2023 11:45

If this is true he's probably so skint he needs to resort to door to door begging from his regulars. Which is terrifying (in more than one way)

SerafinasGoose · 06/02/2023 11:49

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 05/02/2023 21:42

I think it's pretty grim that you think someone who is obviously in desperate circumstance is somehow more likely to be a danger to women. Why do you assume that? Does crushing poverty cause misogyny?

Show quote history

You don't know that he's 'obviously' in desperate circumstances. At all. He could just as easily be an opportunist. They exist.

It's interesting, too, that unless he's arbitrarily targeting customers on his known delivery route, he's gone for the woman living alone.

There's certainly some sort of misogyny at play here, but it isn't coming from the previous poster @PinkFrogss on this thread. There would be warning bells ringing with me were I in the OP's position, and yes, I would report it. His behaviour crosses a line.

Rosebel · 06/02/2023 11:54

Do you think he's okay mentally? I know that's not your problem but I would actually be worried about him.
No matter how much he's struggling for money he surely wouldn't just ask random customers for money if he was well?

SerafinasGoose · 06/02/2023 11:57

KAYMACK · 05/02/2023 23:41

Personally, I feel very sorry for the driver.

You do not know what goes on behind closed doors or in other people's lives.

Likewise, he doesn't know what goes on behind the OP's doors or in her life. But that still didn't stop him encroaching on both.

Before people cut their hearts and bleed even more profusely over this thread, he was the one who approached her, not the other way round. Not least, he approached her in circumstances that are a clear deviation from a delivery driver's remit.

But, as ever, much of the sympathy resides with the man - despite not knowing his motives - rather than with the woman who is understandably unseated and disturbed by his behaviour.

Women really do have a 'personal perception' problem and different set of standards imposed on our behaviour to those required of men. Far from making any discernible progress, this seems to be regressing faster by the year, if even a site primarily comprising female members constantly blames them for issues caused by men. It's more than a little worrying.

Soothsayer1 · 06/02/2023 12:06

DulcetTones · 05/02/2023 21:48

Most people who experience hard times don't go begging to former "customers" they barely know. The fact that he did makes him an outlier, as it is. Not difficult to imagine that someone who's already behaving oddly may not be completely stable. He might not threaten someone with violence, but being confronted at the door of your own home is enough to worry someone, especially someone who already feels a bit vulnerable.

This sums it up for me.

GoBubbles · 06/02/2023 12:20

I would report that person to Deliveroo and to the police. If that person is an ex-offender, this sort of behaviour might mean something for the police.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 06/02/2023 12:45

BadNomad · 05/02/2023 21:56

But he's not begging on the street. He's not knocking on random doors. He is knocking on the doors of people who he thinks he has a better chance of getting money from because of their previous interactions. That's what makes it scary. He feels they have some level of connection.

We had this but a slightly different situation with a local Big Issue seller.

For a few years he deliberately targeted soft touch people (including his customers) for extra money (including asking them for money) or goods etc for his young son. Some locals happily supported him with this including my DM once. He rarely targeted men. Always had an excuse why he didn’t want building work etc. We then found out he’d tried to shoplift designer items from a local charity shop a few times.

Turned out he was also swearing in his language at a local woman of the same nationally who had young children and threatening some people too.

The locals were all torn as to what to do but after he randomly hugged me (totally unprompted by me!) and then shouted at me next time he saw me, I and other locals reported him to the Big Issue HQ who have now banned him completely from trading as a Big Issue seller.

I’d feel similar to you OP and would report him to Deliveroo.

He most likely knows who you live with and that you’re a soft touch after giving him a tip before.

Its his life choice to be a Deliveroo driver and though he’s polite in going away once who knows what he may do next time?

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 06/02/2023 12:47

BadNomad · 05/02/2023 21:56

But he's not begging on the street. He's not knocking on random doors. He is knocking on the doors of people who he thinks he has a better chance of getting money from because of their previous interactions. That's what makes it scary. He feels they have some level of connection.

We had this but a slightly different situation with a local Big Issue seller.

For a few years he deliberately targeted soft touch people (including his customers) for extra money (including asking them for money) or goods etc for his young son. Some locals happily supported him with this including my DM once. He rarely targeted men. Always had an excuse why he didn’t want building work etc. We then found out he’d tried to shoplift designer items from a local charity shop a few times.

Turned out he was also swearing in his language at a local woman of the same nationally who had young children and threatening some people too.

The locals were all torn as to what to do but after he randomly hugged me (totally unprompted by me!) and then shouted at me next time he saw me, I and other locals reported him to the Big Issue HQ who have now banned him completely from trading as a Big Issue seller.

I’d feel similar to you OP and would report him to Deliveroo.

He most likely knows who you live with and that you’re a soft touch after giving him a tip before.

Its his life choice to be a Deliveroo driver and though he’s polite in going away once who knows what he may do next time?

HRTQueen · 06/02/2023 12:54

Man targets single woman

I am willing to bet that he isn’t targeting single men and relying on their kindness

TwoThingsAndAThimble · 06/02/2023 13:18

I can't believe some of the responses on here! Yes, it's sad. But his behaviour is completely unacceptable, and he absolutely needs to be reported for it. It is not okay to target women in their homes just because they've been nice to you before. Jesus, does that really need explaining in 2023?! What he did is not okay, and if Deliveroo discipline him, or even fire him for it, then that is the consequence of HIS actions. And OP's age, whether she lives alone, and what she wears to answer the door (I can't believe that comment hasn't been deleted) have absolutely zero to do with it.

StarlightLady · 06/02/2023 13:19

For a stranger to knock on someone's door (and a delivery driver is a stranger, even if they come to you once a week) is unacceptable and could make the resident who lives there feel at risk.

LoraPiano · 06/02/2023 13:50

As someone who has been stalked by a delivery man I wouldn't hestitate to report to both deliveroo and the police. Take this seriously @avamiah and get a ring doorbell as well

MarieRoseMarie · 06/02/2023 15:38

I don’t mean to be rude but… sometimes I look at the statistics and cannot believe the sheer number of women who are victimised through DV and sexually assaulted by men. It seems unfathomable. Then I look at threads like this and see seemingly intelligent women with the self protection instincts of an aquatically inclined lemming and it all makes sense.

A man illegally took personal data from his work (because that’s what this is) and then used it to harass a single woman late at night at her home for money. And SHE is being criticised for being scared!!!!

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 06/02/2023 15:50

Yea it’s sad that someone has resorted to this but that doesn’t give him the right to knock on your door and put you in this position. He could also be doing it to vulnerable people who could end up handing over money they can’t afford to. How do you know that it isn’t a scam or what if your daughter had been home alone.

Soothsayer1 · 06/02/2023 17:19

avamiah · 05/02/2023 21:47

@Soothsayer1 ,
I tend to agree with you as I always open the door but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a partner so for him to knock at by door on a Sunday early evening is really weird.What would he of done if a man opened the door?

I'm thinking 'sorry mate, I think I knocked on the wrong door' or some other excuse?

Toomuchtrouble4me · 06/02/2023 17:55

It is sad - I don’t think I’d report him - the last thing he needs is to lose his job and also…he knows where you live! I would just leave it and if he tries again then threaten to report.

Soothsayer1 · 06/02/2023 18:02

he knows where you live!
so you recognise that he is a threat?

magma32 · 06/02/2023 18:21

Well said @SerafinasGoose and @MarieRoseMarie

AllyArty · 06/02/2023 18:32

He shouldn’t have done that. Try not to let him get to u. I’d report him if he does it again.

Clarabell77 · 06/02/2023 18:34

Sugargliderwombat · 05/02/2023 21:07

These people do earn absolute pennies, I wonder if he was just desperate. Wildly inappropriate of course but I do feel sorry for them.

I agree. It doesn’t make it appropriate behaviour but imagine being in that position. Awful.

Grrrrdarling · 06/02/2023 18:44

avamiah · 05/02/2023 20:50

A couple of hours ago there was a knock at my front door so as it’s already dark by then I asked who it was and he said your delivery driver so I opened it as I was expecting a Amazon delivery and I was shocked to see a Deliveroo driver.I recognised him as a driver who has delivered to me on numerous occasions.He said he been waiting for a order from me but none had come and could I help him out with any spare change.
I was speechless to say the least and said No and shut the door and have been in shock for the last few hours thinking did that just happen.
To say it’s freaked me out is a understatement and I would appreciate any advice.
Thank You

Call Deliveroo & report him!
Whether you order via Deliveroo regularly or not it is not your job to financially compensate him for you not ordering as often for a while via Deliveroo.
He is one massive cheeky fluffer!!!!

Grrrrdarling · 06/02/2023 18:51

MarieRoseMarie · 06/02/2023 15:38

I don’t mean to be rude but… sometimes I look at the statistics and cannot believe the sheer number of women who are victimised through DV and sexually assaulted by men. It seems unfathomable. Then I look at threads like this and see seemingly intelligent women with the self protection instincts of an aquatically inclined lemming and it all makes sense.

A man illegally took personal data from his work (because that’s what this is) and then used it to harass a single woman late at night at her home for money. And SHE is being criticised for being scared!!!!

This incident totally rings alarm bells for me on more than one level.
1 ) What the hell gives him the right to keep tabs on how often she gets deliveries…
2) What gives him the right to request financial compensation because she hasn’t ordered for a while…
3) He knows all her contact details…
4) Who else’s ordering pattern is he tracking!!!!!

OP needs to report this behaviour to Deliveroo, as a minimum, & I would contact police if anything untoward happens again.

SandraCumin · 06/02/2023 18:51

Couldn’t you have used a bit of empathy and thrown the poor fella a few pounds? It’s almost impossible to live in a hellhole country like this as an ethnic minority and people with your callous attitude don’t make it any easier.