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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Deliveroo Driver knocked at my door asking for money.

185 replies

avamiah · 05/02/2023 20:50

A couple of hours ago there was a knock at my front door so as it’s already dark by then I asked who it was and he said your delivery driver so I opened it as I was expecting a Amazon delivery and I was shocked to see a Deliveroo driver.I recognised him as a driver who has delivered to me on numerous occasions.He said he been waiting for a order from me but none had come and could I help him out with any spare change.
I was speechless to say the least and said No and shut the door and have been in shock for the last few hours thinking did that just happen.
To say it’s freaked me out is a understatement and I would appreciate any advice.
Thank You

OP posts:
exRoo · 05/02/2023 21:51

avamiah · 05/02/2023 21:40

@exRoo ,
No I live in London with my 13 year old daughter and I’m 49 and always collect my orders fully clothed .

Glad to hear it, my kind of customer.

ScribblingPixie · 05/02/2023 21:52

Ignore people trying to guilt you, OP. I'd be unnerved by that.

RaisedOnADietofBrokenBiscuitsOh · 05/02/2023 21:52

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 05/02/2023 21:42

I think it's pretty grim that you think someone who is obviously in desperate circumstance is somehow more likely to be a danger to women. Why do you assume that? Does crushing poverty cause misogyny?

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He might not be desperate for money. It could be that he is targeting a possibly vulnerable woman for other reasons.

PinkFrogss · 05/02/2023 21:52

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 05/02/2023 21:42

I think it's pretty grim that you think someone who is obviously in desperate circumstance is somehow more likely to be a danger to women. Why do you assume that? Does crushing poverty cause misogyny?

Show quote history

I don’t think he is more likely to be a danger to women just because he’s asking for money, but would be wary of any man knocking on women’s doors - especially a woman with a teenage daughter.

Unfortunately in the world we live in, many people would feel they had to give him money as who knows what may happen if they don’t. I know if that happened to DD when she was alone in uni accom she would have felt intimidated and pressured to give him money, and would have worried what would happen if she didn’t.

He clearly left after OP said no and didn’t cause any trouble, but some wouldn’t have done that.

MrsFrugal · 05/02/2023 21:53

I'm sorry this has happened and frightened you OP its not acceptable. I was thinking only this weekend how takeaway and delivery persons are going to be really struggling right now as everyone considers what they are spending. However I do remember in lockdown when they put their prices up considerably (in my locality anyway).

Martinisarebetterdirty · 05/02/2023 21:54

I’d report him to deliveroo. Yes it’s desperately sad if he is desperate for money but it is also intimidating for someone to knock on your door and ask for money, especially if you live alone with your children. If your daughter had answered the door would she have been ok with saying no? What if she’d been home alone and he’d done this? He could (note could not was definitely) have been scoping out your home. It isn’t normal to do this so trust your instincts.

user6792653085 · 05/02/2023 21:55

If I were in the house on my own when that happened, I'd be frightened that he'd been watching me and knew I was alone or was going to threaten me. No way should people be doing this!

BadNomad · 05/02/2023 21:56

But he's not begging on the street. He's not knocking on random doors. He is knocking on the doors of people who he thinks he has a better chance of getting money from because of their previous interactions. That's what makes it scary. He feels they have some level of connection.

NotTooOldPaul · 05/02/2023 21:59

I delivered Chinese meals for a local takeaway when I was at university. It was hard work, but it helped pay the bills and without tips it would have not been much good.
I never asked for money but I liked it when the weather was bad as I got higher tips when it was raining hard.
I feel sorry for this Deliveroo delivery person who was desperate enough to knock on a door and ask for money.
I’m not saying he was right to do so but I don’t think reporting him to Deliveroo would help him at all.
I’m sure it is a poorly paid job with no certainty of pay so I can see how he might have been desperate to get money.
The OP did the right thing by saying no to him, if she did not want to help, but reporting him and removing any chance of him earning seems cruel.

Pinkypurplecloud · 05/02/2023 22:00

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 05/02/2023 21:42

I think it's pretty grim that you think someone who is obviously in desperate circumstance is somehow more likely to be a danger to women. Why do you assume that? Does crushing poverty cause misogyny?

Show quote history

You’re naive if you genuinely think he’d have to be in desperate circumstances to do this, or if you don’t think that the kind of people who lack the social inhibition that usually stops one from demanding money from strangers are no greater threat than people who are minding their own business.

It’s possible he desperate, but I’ve been targeted in similar ways by a couple of men before (not delivery drivers, but other casual workers) and a) it’s intimidating as a woman home alone having a man ask you for money on your doorstep and b) I’m fairly sure it was a scam of some kind, or at least they really weren’t as desperate as you think. It’s the equivalent of people who approach you in train station car parks claiming they need money for a ticket to get home to their sick mother - lots of people are either intimidated or soft hearted enough to give them what they ask for.

Original poster
avamiah · 05/02/2023 22:00

@MrsFrugal ,
Thank you,
Yes lots of people are struggling with the cost of living and that’s why if I place a order for £20/£30 and the driver is polite and my order is delivered on time then I always give a tip and I do the same at the hairdressers and in a restaurant.

OP posts:
WhereIsMumHiding3 · 05/02/2023 22:00

Knocking on your door to beg for money as someone who got your address from being an employee for previous Deliveroo deliveries is a GDPR breach as he's using your personal data (address) for purposes it is not intended

It is absolutely reportable to Deliveroo

But I doubt you remember his name, if you so, I'd be reporting this, he 100% knows it's wrong

MyEasterEggs · 05/02/2023 22:02

Something similar happened to me and I later regretted my kindness. Had to get the police involved as the man’s behaviour became more erratic. I felt for him, he was desperate, but that doesn’t make it okay. So I’d report. You can’t possibly know what his intentions are, but it’s quite unnerving.

JenniferBooth · 05/02/2023 22:02

i tried to buy a new mobile phone case last week. I live in a small market town which doesnt have much choice We have a small post office where some people have rented out an area to sell mobile phone cases. Went in there on the Friday and they said they would have a phone case ready for me on the Saturday Instead two completely different blokes were in there and one of them said he would order from the warehouse later that day but then said he had to order five cases online and THEN asked for money upfront before i even get the item?! I said no and that i would be back in there on Wednesday But it was really awkward and intimidating when they asked for money upfront TWICE so im not going back A deposit on a mobile phone CASE.

ComfortablyDazed · 05/02/2023 22:03

This reply has been deleted

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Not enough 🙄s in the world for this comment.

TheVeryHungryTortoise · 05/02/2023 22:04

I currently work with homeless individuals and sadly in my city at the moment quite a few of them work as bike couriers (Deliveroo, Just Eat etc.) during the day and rough sleep at night. I'm not condoning this kind of behaviour and would never be giving money to a delivery driver knocking at my door, but just to give some perspective on what this man's life circumstances may be.

magma32 · 05/02/2023 22:04

plumduck · 05/02/2023 21:33

What? He knows where she lives and is knocking on her door for money. That's out of order. He needs reporting before it escalates

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sod that. I’d definitely report a man who thinks it’s ok to cold call a woman at dark and ask for money. I would be frightened and nobody should be put through that, even ‘poor people’ need to respect boundaries otherwise why not let them run riot cos they’re poor.

Jdjdntbhh · 05/02/2023 22:06

Is the tip on top of a delivery fee? Just curious
its a flat 5£ to delivery any food to me and I don’t tip.

PersonaNonGarter · 05/02/2023 22:07

Random man putting pressure on a woman when she is in her home - absolutely no.

This is the behaviour of a very sleazy guy - skint or not skint.

magma32 · 05/02/2023 22:08

Sorry @plumduck that comment was for the person you replied to but didn’t realise I was replying to you

Original poster
avamiah · 05/02/2023 22:08

@WhereIsMumHiding3 ,
I have no idea what his name is and yes he knows my address and telephone number because it’s on my Deliveroo Account and he works for them.

OP posts:
JenniferBooth · 05/02/2023 22:09

Also just before Christmas i had a woman approach me to say she had left her card at home and could she have some cash This was in an isolated corner of our shopping centre.

EmbraWumman · 05/02/2023 22:09

Sorry if someone has asked this but (haven't read all) are you a woman living alone?

RaisinRainbow · 05/02/2023 22:09

I understand OP's consternation. Definitely report that behaviour. He sounds really hard up, which is relatable, but even so!!

I hope this isn't off topic - but is it a thing to tip delivery drivers?

As I never have tipped Amazon, Evri etc, is this something that others do?

IDontWantToBeAPie · 05/02/2023 22:09

Sounds like he's struggling. How very sad.

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