One day notice to attend a wedding???

[Stardust35]

Received a verbal invite one day before.
Would you go?

Currently the situation I'm in.

I will add they weren't invited the day before, it was about a month, so plenty of time

Cant see any updates from the op, anyone else wondering if it was to their own wedding? Original post vague enough it could have been! 🤣🤣

I've given up advising/engaging with posters who post and vanish

I agree @MatildaTheCat

I actually have been to a wedding that I was invited to, in a phone call, about 4pm the day before. (I would have been going to the service, but wouldn't expect to have been invited to the Reception). They just said someone was unwell, so there were 2 spaces at the Reception that were paid for and going begging, so would I like to go, so obviously I said yes, and we had a lovely time.

I don't go why @yellowtwo and others would want to cut off their nose to spite their face.
I'm in the "How lovely that they thought of me" camp.

I would if the amount of time and money wss proportionate to the strength of the friendship.

In a lovely book I am a big fan of, a couple who have massively overbearing relatives dominating the wedding plans do this (getting actually married some months before the horrific but happily cancellable thing they didn't want) and it's brilliant. those who can be there are there. there's no resentment for those who can't make it

Did you go?

It would depend on who it was & the circumstances behind why the invitation was so late being given.

if it was a close friend/relative who had decided to get married at the last minute & everyone was invited on the spur of the moment then yes I would clear my diary & go.
if it was just to make up numbers because they’d been let down by closer friends/family I probably wouldn’t want to go, if I wasn’t good enough to make the first cut… unless it was a bloody great big flash do at a top venue with a sumptuous meal thrown in… then I’d go just for the day out.

Someone’s dropped out so you were invited to fill the already paid for space and eat the already paid for food

I hope you went to the wedding. I would have went. I know for my own wedding there were friends who got asked to attend once the family rsvps were back. So I wouldn't see it as a slight.

No, but only because I'd feel like an afterthought.

Did you go?

Nope! Unless there’s a very very good reason why?

So.
Does it really matter?
Being too proud to accept a last minute invitation isn't a character trait I would find attractive in a friend.

I was taught by my mother not to go to a birthday party if I thought others had been invited before me and I was ‘second best’.

I now think that’s a ridiculous, prideful way to be.

I accept any invitations I can, and happily.

what did you decide @Stardust35 ?

Yes. But I bloody love weddings!!!

Obviously, if you are asked the day before, you are filling a space where someone is unable to attend last minute, but what I don't understand is why that would stop you going.

Surely everyone understands that we all have people that come higher up a list of "people Jane and Tom want to invite to their wedding", but that, given the opportunity, they would love it if we could be there, as we are good friends. Well, this opportunity has now arisen, so why wouldn't you go ?

This is the weirdness of the way some people I read about on MN do friendships, and do invitations. It's just odd. If I get an invitation to something I ask

• Do I want to do
• Am I free that day
• Can I get there, logistically

If the answer is yes, then I go. I can't understand why you wouldn't.

I am confused that grown adults don't understand that some couples getting married invite all their Aunties and Uncles and in some cases that means there are as many spaces for friends as they would perhaps liked. But when they hear that Uncle Bob and Aunty Mary can't come last minute, and their response is "In one way that's a shame, but the great news is I can now invite Userchangeofname and her dh", what I don't understand is why you wouldn't think "Oh, lovely, we can now go to the wedding", then go and have a lovely day, rather than thinking "We could go, but I'd rather stay and home and sulk because Jane and Tom have too large a family to have been able to invite us in the first place."
It's just bonkers.

You have articulated that better than I have done @UsingChangeofName. That is why if I had a last minute invitation and I wanted to go and could get there easily I would go.

I think in my case I'd met the bride's grandma on Friday morning, on Friday afternoon I received an apology that she'd genuinely not realised the invite hadn't sent and an invite to the wedding which was Saturday evening.
What I was worried about was if the bride had felt guilted into the invite by gran.
I messaged around the few people who might have also been invited had it been a genuine mistake. They were and their expectations were that I was also so I went. I'm glad I did!
( I'm not the op, was just in a similar situation)

"Surely everyone understands that we all have people that come higher up a list of "people Jane and Tom want to invite to their wedding""

Yes, but it's not totally reciprocal if you see what I mean. You might put someone higher up than they put you and in that case it can feel a bit insulting to be relegated.
As I've said before, a last minute invitation by a local friendly acquaintance would be fine for me, a good friend leaving me as an afterthought wouldn't.

Firstly...

A) So what? You are not paying for it. It is free to you. You get to have free food, drinks, and there's cake 🍰! They likely had to invite "family" and now get to invite someone they actually want to be there! Otherwise they would not have bothered to ask personally!

B) Everyone has something in their closet that is wedding appropriate. Everyone. If you have clothes that you can wear to a church service or even a funeral, then you definitely have something you can wear to a wedding. As long as it's not white, and not club wear, then it's fine.

C) Gifts are not mandatory. You don't have to buy anything if you choose not to. And you certainly would not have to show up to the wedding with a gift if you were planning to get one.

Those are the reasons TO go.

No, unless every other guest received a last minute invite. Maybe a spontaneous wedding? I don't want to be an afterthought, only invited when someone else cancels.

You know, you and several other posters have convinced me to change my mind. I commented that I wouldn't go, didn't want to be someone's 2nd best.
But I just didn't see it the way you mentioned! Of course numbers are limited and there's last minute drop outs, so if you want to go, it's close and you have the proper dress code attire, why not go?
I'm glad I read through everyone's thoughtful responses. Except for the 2 or 3 rude ones that said, "why are you even asking? Such a stupid post".
That's uncalled for, and mean! She's obviously asking because it IS unusual to get an invite to a wedding a day before and she wants the opinions of this community!
Here in the Southern US, (Dallas), protocol can actually be a little more casual.
So Mumsnet got me to reconsider! I do like this community.

I smiled at the suggestion that everyone has a wedding appropriate outfit in their wardrobe.

Have you not seen how badly many people in this country dress?

If you saw me sitting on the sofa, typing on MN, or going for a walk in the local woods, or even walking round the supermarket, you might think I fall in to your "badly dressed" category, simply because I dress appropriately for the occasion, and I happen to think casual clothes are appropriate for casual occasions. That doesn't mean that I don't have a posh frock or two and a nice jacket and smart shoes stowed away in my wardrobe to be worn on an appropriate occasion.