One day notice to attend a wedding???

[Stardust35]

Received a verbal invite one day before.
Would you go?

Currently the situation I'm in.

Absolutely not.

They’re not inviting you because they want you there.
They are inviting you because someone pulled out and they knew you’d probably be free to fill the empty seat.

I would not give them the satisfaction of thinking I have nothing better to do with my time than to be a last minute guest.

I wonder how many people they asked before you.

I had 2 cousins drop out of my wedding on the actual day.

Would have loved a reserve list of friends, and enough time to invite someone from it.

I said nothing about the money being gone, I said money being wasted. Understand the difference if you’re capable.

If you would like to go, accept. No point cutting your nose off to spite your face. Life's too short.

i wouldnt take offence, none was meant.

i remember as a child my dd was invited with barely any notice to a party, i thought nothing of it, excited for my dd to go to a party
only my dm made rude remarks about it.

some people are glass half empty negative types tbh
be positive op, and go!

No

They asked you so their money for the food wouldn’t be wasted not because they wanted you there or they’d would have asked you in the first place. Also to fill empty seat like pp said and to get another gift. So, rude to ask you at the very last minute, they must think you’d be very eager for a free meal and would jump at chance and clear your schedule to come day before a wedding with guest list planned for months perhaps years ahead. They’re thinking of themselves, gotta fill the empty seats, not you. They gave you no time to prepare or anything. Rude.

Wow, has something in this thread touched a nerve?

How nasty.

I do have an outfit, it's also just a ten minute drive away, culturally it'll cost me around £20 pounds as the expectation in lots of Indian weddings is a cash gift to the family of the bride.
I'm just not sure, was It really a mistake or am I an afterthought?

Are you the OP, @shard5 ?
You're not an afterthought, you're from the reserve list. Unless you want to ask and clarify?.

I received an invitation like this (can't remember whether it was actually one day notice, but it was certainly less than a week). I didn't go because I had tickets and plans with a group of friends already. (The groom was then rude to me for declining the invitation, so no regrets here).

It depends on whose wedding it is, where it is, how much money I had etc etc.

I would prefer not to be invited with such short notice though, so if you are the bride or groom in this scenario and are planning to do this, I'd generally say not to.

I know someone who did this and I found it a bit annoying and couldn't go. They did it as a lovely surprise and I just thought "your wedding isn't a gift to us"! She had a proper wedding dress and everything so it was planned well in advance and I just couldn't understand why they did it, but each to their own I guess

No but then I don't really enjoy weddings. Too much hanging around.

I normally decline invites even with plenty of notice. At such short notice I wouldn't even consider saying yes.

Sorry, should say, the invitation I received was a text on the day of the actual wedding. The couple did that to everyone they wanted to invite - not just me

I really don’t get this attitude. Every wedding has limits on numbers and will almost always involve leaving potential guests off the list simply because they have no choice.

Equally every wedding/ event will have last minute drop-outs, especially in the winter.

So it’s not insulting to be asked at very short notice. If I thought I’d enjoy the day I’d go in a heartbeat and feel glad they felt comfortable with asking me.

I’m completely with you on this @MatildaTheCat
I’m not one of the many self-important professionally offended posters that have already popped up on this thread. How on earth do they get through life if they feel insulted so easily? Do people have to tread on eggshells around them all the time?

DH and I have both had covid this week, so I can understand why there have been some last minute dropouts.

I don't think i means you're an afterthought though, a couple of my close friends are getting married soon but have had to limit the numbers and I know how much the reserve list has been discussed (and how they'd probably rather have some of the reserve list there than certain family members they feel obliged to invite)

On the basis it's highly unlikely I'm close to them, if they only gave a day's notice, I'd decline.

I've been to a couple of weddings where I knew next to none of the guests (because I was an acquaintance not a friend), and I left well before the end, in fact one wedding we said hello to the bride and groom, offered them our congratulations and left about 10 mins later.

Have you been invited because someone else has dropped out?
Id go for the free meal and if you liked the betrothed couple.

If I'm free, I like the couple and it won't cost me a fortune then yes.

So what if I'm replacing someone who dropped out. I think its nice that they would still want me rather than having an empty chair. Weddings have limits and you can't invite everyone. We had a second list of people we would invite if others couldn't come for our wedding. We didn't expect gifts or money or cards just we like people.

Depends - I happily went to the wedding of a good friend’s sister - I barely knew the sister (she was 3 years older than us and had moved to London years earlier) but I knew my friend and a few of her sister’s friends. It was a full on 1980’s champagne fuelled extravaganza and I had a blast. If I was a cousin and all the other cousins had been invited properly except me then I’d feel that I was disliked by the bride and groom and they only invited me because of family pressure. In that case I wouldn’t go.

If I liked them, it was local and I had no other plans I'd love to go. Nothing wrong with filling in last minute drop outs. Free food and all that! Just put some money in a card.

I agree with this too.
Also
Is the wedding tomorrow . ie Sunday?? If it’s Monday, day off work, big white preorganised wedding, lose a days holiday….then no I wouldn’t go.

If it was logistically viable to go, I would. Better to be a reserve and have some fun than be offended and waste a place anyway.