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Original poster

Do you get upset if people say your kids look only like their dad ?

171 replies

jumparooound · 04/02/2023 10:55

Lighthearted, but a little serious.

I feel like people never / hardly say my kids look like me. They're both still little. A baby and a 3 year old.

I laugh it off, but it's uncomfortable inside sometimes.

I know of two dads, that actually get upset ( the wives have told me ) about people always saying their kids look like their wife.

The other day my H's aunt said that both kids look like H and have nothing from me. My kids are super cute ( of course I would say that ). I felt a bit like ' yeah of course they don't look like this ugly fucker ' ( me ).

Anyway, for what it's worth, I actually do think they're a mix and they change so much all the time anyway.

But yeah I am not actually ugly ( generally speaking ) and it would be nice if some of my DNA rubbed off on my kids. Anyway this is a silly post.

OP posts:
wizzywig · 04/02/2023 10:56

I only say it to mums that I don't like...

thistimelastweek · 04/02/2023 10:56

Doesn't bother me at all.

They totally look like their dad.

GrohlOnAPole · 04/02/2023 10:57

Nope. Both mine look like DH and not me at all…. DS looked like as a baby but grew into looking like DH.

he’s far better looking than me so I think it’s a win really.

HRTQueen · 04/02/2023 10:57

No not at all

Dacadactyl · 04/02/2023 10:57

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest

TakeYourFinalPosition · 04/02/2023 10:59

Not upset… I’ve only got one; he’s spent the whole of his life being told how much he looks like his Dad, from everyone. He really does. If you cloned DH, you’d get DS. But it can be a tiny bit saddening; at times!

Its really lovely when people suggest there’s some of me in him, even if it’s something silly, like his dirty laugh or his smile.

It annoys me more when any of his features/behaviours are claimed. “Oh, he likes food! That’s just like his great aunt Mabel.”. “Oh, he waves! His twice-removed ninth cousin’s next door neighbour liked to wave; he’s definitely got that from our side.” 🥴😂

UWhatNow · 04/02/2023 10:59

I would not bother me one jot.

GherkOut · 04/02/2023 11:00

Yup. DC's totally look like DH.
But they have my brains, wit and charisma

vivainsomnia · 04/02/2023 11:01

My kids so don't look like me, if I hadn't given birth to them, I'd ask for a DNA test!

I don't mind at all. It's jus a bit puzzling. My DD does have quite a bit of my mum though, but both body shape is absolutely nothing like mine. They are my children and I'm so proud of them, what they look like is so irrelevant.

WandaWonder · 04/02/2023 11:01

Well our child looks 99% like my husband and absolutely nothing like me, it is a fact so no it doesn't bother me

RNBrie · 04/02/2023 11:01

No it's not something I ever got upset about! It's no reflection on you or your appearance why would it be? I find it interesting how my kids have changed over time. In some lights my eldest looks so much like my sister it gives me the heebiejeebies.

WhatNoRaisins · 04/02/2023 11:02

No point getting upset, it's clear to anyone with eyesight that mine are like miniature versions of their dad.

Tangerinie · 04/02/2023 11:02

Mine looked so like my DH when they were babies. One of them looked like my DH and my dbro somehow had a baby together 😂.

I liked it tbh as I love my DH (and my dbro). I can't see myself in my DCs at all, but I'm told one of them is like me at the same age.

Men might get more upset if they suspect it isn't their biological child I guess..? Not an issue for me as I know I carried them

DominoRules · 04/02/2023 11:03

My youngest is so identical to DH his face works to open his iPhone 😂 totally my personality though

Eldest has my colouring but is more like DH, it doesn’t bother me

justcouldntthinkofausername · 04/02/2023 11:04

Doesn't bother me at all. I know he does look like his dad, I just say 'he's a the better looking version though' 😉

TinaMummy · 04/02/2023 11:05

I find that DH family tend to see him in DS aged 1 while my family see more of me in him. I suppose it's as DH family didn't see me as a baby so can't see the resemblance.

rothbury · 04/02/2023 11:05

I think it’s totally different to mention to a man that his child looks nothing like him!!

Mine look far more like their dad but it doesn’t bother me at all.

larchforest · 04/02/2023 11:05

A wise friend of mine said that my dd1 didn't particularly look like either of us, she looked like herself.

Different people see different things. A primary school friend of mine, who I hadn't seen for decades, only recognised me because saw dd and thought she looked exactly like me when I was a kid. People who knew DH's sister as a child could see a similarity between her and dd.

Cousins often resemble one another more closely than siblings do.

I wouldn't worry about it op.

FT123456 · 04/02/2023 11:08

Doesn't bother me at all... my little boy really does look like his dad 😂

maddy68 · 04/02/2023 11:08

Both my kids didn't look anything like me when they were younger. Why would that upset me? I'm really not that insecure

Original poster
jumparooound · 04/02/2023 11:08

TinaMummy · 04/02/2023 11:05

I find that DH family tend to see him in DS aged 1 while my family see more of me in him. I suppose it's as DH family didn't see me as a baby so can't see the resemblance.

This is my impression as well. My family tend to find more similarities with me, as do people who don't know my husband. I think you mostly see who you know.

OP posts:
ditalini · 04/02/2023 11:08

Doesn't bother me.

Ds2 is the spit of dh, to the point that you literally couldn't tell photos of them at the same age apart if it wasn't for the 80s styling in the ones of dh.

My mum tries to find bits of our family in him and I laugh at her.

It's not like they're denying my parentage - I mean, I WAS there.

Original poster
jumparooound · 04/02/2023 11:09

maddy68 · 04/02/2023 11:08

Both my kids didn't look anything like me when they were younger. Why would that upset me? I'm really not that insecure

I don't think it's about being insecure. It's probably a deeper thing of wanting to pass your genetics down to your kids.

OP posts:
LoopDiL00p · 04/02/2023 11:10

I've got two boys, an 8 month old and a 3 year old and they're both the spitting image of their Dad. I don't mind people saying it, it's obvious to anyone.

I find it a bit odd when people say the boys look more like me. It comes across as patronising, even if that wasn't the intention.

Highlyflavouredgravy · 04/02/2023 11:12

No, it makes ne laugh because my eldest especially, is a clone of his dad.
And i love my husband. Why wouldn't i love that my son looks like the man I love?