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Original poster

Do you get upset if people say your kids look only like their dad ?

171 replies

jumparooound · 04/02/2023 10:55

Lighthearted, but a little serious.

I feel like people never / hardly say my kids look like me. They're both still little. A baby and a 3 year old.

I laugh it off, but it's uncomfortable inside sometimes.

I know of two dads, that actually get upset ( the wives have told me ) about people always saying their kids look like their wife.

The other day my H's aunt said that both kids look like H and have nothing from me. My kids are super cute ( of course I would say that ). I felt a bit like ' yeah of course they don't look like this ugly fucker ' ( me ).

Anyway, for what it's worth, I actually do think they're a mix and they change so much all the time anyway.

But yeah I am not actually ugly ( generally speaking ) and it would be nice if some of my DNA rubbed off on my kids. Anyway this is a silly post.

OP posts:
iloveyankeecandle · 04/02/2023 15:40

I can't stand it!! Drives me up the wall. I find people who've only ever seen me say they look like me. But then once they see my husband they say they're a mix. In laws say how much they look like their dad and nothing like me! Think they're just trying to be spiteful.

SouperNoodle · 04/02/2023 15:44

People often ask me if I was even a part of conception as my children are the double of their father and look nothing like me.
It doesn't bother me at all.

RosettaTheGardenFairy · 04/02/2023 16:34

People comment constantly that I've given my husband 3 clones, it doesn't bother me in the slightest as they're 100% right.

But I do often wonder how someone would feel if they'd used donor eggs - some of these people commenting are colleagues and acquaintances; people who know nothing about us or our background, I imagine that may be uncomfortable or hurtful.

IncompleteSenten · 04/02/2023 16:36

No. Doesn't bother me. They are both the spitting image of their dad. You couldn't pick me out of a line up as their mum.

BackOfTheMum5net · 04/02/2023 17:43

I have a faint memory of a study saying that people always say the baby looks like its father (especially relatives of the mother) as an evolutionary mechanism to reassure the father that it's actually his!😂

ProperVexed · 04/02/2023 17:54

Both my boys were, and still are, the spitting image of DH. My only contribution in looks was their fat thighs as babies.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 04/02/2023 18:15

Doesn’t bother me.

I would agree that my kids do look very much like their dad.

Funkyblues101 · 04/02/2023 18:18

Father's may care more because subconsciously they need a biological guarantee. Mothers KNOW they gave birth to the baby. Mothers being upset about is weird - unless they married a man purely for his money and find him physically repulsive...

Ponderingwindow · 04/02/2023 18:20

No, it is factual. The statement is neutral. My child looks exactly like her father. She got only one feature from me.

TinaTeaspoons · 04/02/2023 18:28

Nothing like their dad at all, in personality or looks. All me.

familyissues12345 · 04/02/2023 18:35

Doesn't bother me that you both look like their Dads, they both unfortunately have my amazing sarcastic personality BlushGrin

DillDanding · 04/02/2023 18:39

Everyone says ours look like their dad. They look completely different to each other - hair colour, eye colour, noses, face shapes… So I don’t know how they could both look like their dad.

But their dad is very handsome indeed, so I don’t mind.

Americano75 · 04/02/2023 18:41

I totally get what you're saying, it's irrational of course but there you go. My son looked ridiculously like my husband when he was a baby, like a living DNA test. Absolutely zero of me, who'd been through the tough pregnancy and traumatic labour to bring the 9lb 7oz bruiser into the world. 😆

boozebarge · 04/02/2023 19:29

I don’t mind because our son is absolutely his father's mini-me and there’s no denying it! A friend asked me this week, "Do you think there’s any of you in him?!" which made me laugh!

SarahAshley2 · 04/02/2023 19:33

I don’t care at all that people say my son looks just like my DS… he does and he’s gorgeous! He has most of my personality traits (unfortunately for him lol!) but I literally wouldn’t care who he looked like!

Why do you care?

DappledThings · 04/02/2023 19:33

Not in the least. DD is really like SIL. I'm pretty sure when it's me, DH and SIL out with the children people would probably assume she is their mother and I'm a friend. It doesn't mean anything.

DolphinNosePotato1 · 04/02/2023 19:34

I think it depends who it’s coming from and your relationship with them.

My MIL (who I generally get on with!) irritated me beyond belief when my eldest was born as she went on and on about how he looked like my husband, didn’t look like me at all, basically acted as if he was a clone of my husband and didn’t have anything from my side of the family. I felt like she was trying to ‘claim’ him as hers and her family’s and that he wasn’t properly mine. This was all a combination of hormones, at the time undiagnosed pnd and ptsd from the birth and me struggling to bond with my son anyway.

Nowadays it does not bother me at all. DS1 mostly looks like Dh but I can see bits of myself in there. Ds2 looks like we’ve cloned a male version of me, DD1 we can’t really tell yet as she’s still a baby and it changes all the time.

1982mommaof4 · 04/02/2023 19:34

Yep annoys the shit out of me especially when SIL says it

Stupidpeoplesuck · 04/02/2023 19:36

wizzywig · 04/02/2023 10:56

I only say it to mums that I don't like...

This is evil genius, and I love it!

PlainJanePerfect · 04/02/2023 19:49

rothbury · 04/02/2023 11:05

I think it’s totally different to mention to a man that his child looks nothing like him!!

Mine look far more like their dad but it doesn’t bother me at all.

Unless you've got an IVF baby and then there's always a teeny tiny what if 🤣

Ours is definitely his father's but not always sure he is mine!)

celticprincess · 04/02/2023 20:33

Isn’t there some theory that a lot of babies/younger children look like their dads, at least in the early days, so that the dad can be happy that the child is definitely theirs?? The mother gives birth, so unless a diner egg was used, then it’s not usually in question.

Mind you though, my youngest has never looked like me. Definitely has a lot of dad’s traits but also looks like her cousin on my side. So I think it can depend on many things. My eldest definitely looks like me, although when younger she looked alot more like my mum as well.

Keepyourmummysboys · 04/02/2023 20:36

Whether your kids look like you or not, it factual. They either do or don’t.

you sound like you’ve issues. I’d focus on fixing those and not bringing your kids into it.

Jazzy21 · 04/02/2023 20:56

To be completely honest, it did bother me when people said DS looked like DH, but only because they were right, he is his twin, and there is absolutely nothing of me in him. Considering he’s 50% my DNA, I can’t understand how there isn’t the slightest hint of me in him.
I only stopped being grumpy about it when we had DD, who is my twin!

whumpthereitis · 04/02/2023 20:56

I don’t think it bothers my mother, which is just as well because our father’s genetics body slammed hers out of the way when it came to my brother and I.

DarkShade · 04/02/2023 21:22

I also came here to give the 'babies look like their dads for biological reassurance' legend. I actually have no idea if there's any scientific truth in it. My DS looks identical to his dad, to the point where people who have only met DS know instantly that DP is his dad when they see him. It's so obvious, and always has been. As he's gotten older there's more of me in him. It's never bothered me. What did used to bother me was my side of the family falling over themselves to find non existent comparisons to me, and keep saying it in a hushed consolation voice, as if I must be really upset by how my perfect little baby looked. I ended up replying that DS looks like himself, I think they eventually got the message.