Do you get upset if people say your kids look only like their dad ?

[jumparooound]

Lighthearted, but a little serious.

I feel like people never / hardly say my kids look like me. They're both still little. A baby and a 3 year old.

I laugh it off, but it's uncomfortable inside sometimes.

I know of two dads, that actually get upset ( the wives have told me ) about people always saying their kids look like their wife.

The other day my H's aunt said that both kids look like H and have nothing from me. My kids are super cute ( of course I would say that ). I felt a bit like ' yeah of course they don't look like this ugly fucker ' ( me ).

Anyway, for what it's worth, I actually do think they're a mix and they change so much all the time anyway.

But yeah I am not actually ugly ( generally speaking ) and it would be nice if some of my DNA rubbed off on my kids. Anyway this is a silly post.

My younger two look like a mix although my oldest is very clearly my child just a sightly different hair colour, we even have the same hair texture. It doesn't bother me that the other two don't look as similar to me.

What I do find weird/bemusing is when my MIL declares the eldest looks nothing like me and so much like DH. It like a weird possession thing.

My eldest does look like his Dad, he’s the spitting image, why would people get upset at saying their child looks like one of their parents?

Ha DTs can open my iPhone too, and each others! They look nothing like DH at all.

Relieved tbh
(joking)
Glad she got DH’s colouring (olive). I hope she gets something of me. Apparently she has my personality. Again a (genuine) relief because DH is quite straight

Not at all! My DS1 is the absolute double of his dad. Every single feature, they’re both gorgeous 😍
why would I take offence? They’re his children as well as mine. DD and DS2 look like me and like each other. It doesn’t upset my husband.

No because if they do look like one parent they just do! My eldest (a boy) looks very like me even more so now he's adult height and has long straight hair just like mine. He has quite dark olive skin from my mums side which skipped me and my husband is ginger and even paler. Younger one (girl) looks nothing like me, different features, colouring, build but very like her dad and his mum. You'd think the genes would be more mixed up but it looks like we have a child each. They are 10 years apart so sometimes it gets assumed that we are a blended family from two earlier ones. We went to Thailand recently and a lady in a restaurant had a good look at their faces, asked how old they were and then said cheerfully to my husband "ah, so he's not yours". Luckily he found it funny!

My friends and family say DS looks like me, DP's friends and family say they look like him.

There's probably some psychology behind it (either to ingratiate you towards your preferred parent, or it's the brain is tricking you) but either way it doesn't bother me.

Nope. DS was the absolute spitting image of his dad when he was little but now he's my double.
Facebook often tries to tag him as me 😂

It's never bothered either of us as surely you find your partner attractive so your child looking like them is a good thing!!

When DS looked like DH and people said he was cute it didn't occur to me to offended!

I have 2 friends who get so prickly when anyone mentions that their dc look just like their dads. I don’t say it (even though it’s true, one in particular is just missing the beard and honestly it’s spooky how close the resemblance is even though the kid is about 18 months old 😂), they just rant that people say their kids look like their dads.

yes, same with my MIL!
she had boys only,so when DD was younger and had a strong resemblance to both me & MIL I'd often point out the latter to her.
It was true, but it was also nice to see MIL being so happy to see herself in a granddaughter and have that confirmed to her by me. It delighted her so much.

I think a lot of people say that to reassure the dad that they're his kids!

I think looks can change a bit over time. Everyone used to say I look like my mother when I was younger but I don't quite so much now?
A lot of people tell me DD looks like me but my mother disagrees! She looked like DH as a baby as she has his big blue eyes.

My mother has literally sneered at me, on many occasions, "I hate how much you and your older brother look like your father".

They had a prolonged nasty divorce 34 years ago...so I've been hearing that most of my adult life. Not a nice thing to hear at all. Like my brother and myself are somehow responsible for it.

"Well you fucking bred with him" was my response the last time she said it.

They are likely to look like one of you... it isn't an issue unless 1) you have massive insecurities and need validation 2) you hate the father. Even then, you shagged him!

We have one of each - DD looks like DH, DS looks like me. To a genuinely hilarious degree. Everyone laughs, no one cares.

DH and I both worked in same place when I had DS, a colleague literally screamed out loud when she saw baby as he was so like his dad. Years later, parent teacher meetings often start with “I know you whose dad you are” as they are still so alike. DNA huh!

I think it depends on context. I don't mind people saying my children look like their dad or his family. They are just saying what they see. But my in-laws were really very rude in the way they claimed my eldest as 'their own' - digging out old photos, even a bloody tea towel printed with BIL's face as a child at one stage! One of them said 'He's definitely a XXXX (insert DP's surname here!). You missed out there Tessisme'. I mean, why would you say something like that unless it was to deliberately make someone feel sidelined or excluded? I remember SIL saying 'And he's got his mum's blue eyes' to make me feel better, which I really appreciated. She could see they were ganging up on me. The thing is, when he reached about 4, he was the double of my brother and still is. And they have gone very quiet. I get the whole excitement and interest around who people resemble. I find it interesting myself. But there's a way of saying things.

@jumparooound

The ugly fucker bit sounds like its more a you issue.

Why would it bother you?

My son is 23 and is so like his dad that strangers know it is DH's son. But he has so much of my personality traits. I don't mind at all

My mil is regularly annoyed that ds1 looks like me
Ds does look like me so I have to annoyingly listen to DP all day giving ds stuff then saying ' Awww do you like that? Daddy likes that too! You're just like your dad'
Fuck fuck fuck in my head I'm screaming 'of course he fucking likes biscuits/ice cream/chocolate/TWIGGLETS it's the sugar not genetics'

I actually see a lot of DP too and DS isn't my clone at all. I love seeing the mixture, to me he's our little 50/50. I guess if you're the parents the child looks like you can see past yourself

It used to really upset me because of my MIL. She would only buy things that said "daddy's little star" or "daddy's little princess", only ever had pictures of my DH and DD around her house (which became noticeable to everyone and shrine like) and she only ever said DD looked like DH.
I'd be spiteful and say it's a good job DH looks like his father then eh? Because she hated my FIL.

Now it doesn't bother me and my DD does look like me now she's a teen.

Not at all.

No, but maybe I would if I didn’t like
their Dad.

12yo DS is a clone of his dad, always has been and it's just increasing as he gets older! So nonexistent is our resemblance, I was assumed to be his nanny at a toddler group (young mum). No point getting upset about it, it's just a fact.