To place flowers on the grave of someone I don't know?

[ChocChipOwl]

There's a back story of course. I'm not a random weirdo!

My DH thinks I'm mad but I think this is a nice thing to do.

I like researching social and local history and I'll do it for the various places I've lived. I'll use online searches etc and research a place / person and it's all quite interesting

Anyway, I live in a very small village and was researching a local house when I found a postcard dated 1915 which was sent to a lady who lived round the corner from me. I researched more on her, the area etc

She died in 1917 and is buried 0.2 miles from my house in the churchyard

I've now finished this particular research and wanted to put some flowers on her grave. She has no living relatives as her daughters were both 'spinsters'

Only a three quid bunch of tulips. My husband thinks bonkers but I think just a nice token of .. appreciation? Esteem? Not sure

I'd remove them in a week so nothing festering in there

So. A weirdo? Or nice?

OP, if you get joy out of it, and it brightens up the world just a fraction, then go for it.

I also like to think there's a 0.1% chance that she will be up there watching, in which case it will make her very happy indeed.

I have done this on an unknown baby girl grave to acknowledge her little life.

Putting some tulips on the lady’s forgotten grave is a lovely gesture and will also help to brighten up the general environment for other grave visitors, if only for a few days. Just do it.

I think it's lovely and the fact you've researched her after seeing post card. It's a lovely tale and a nice touch to finish it with. I think you should do it. 😊😊😊😊

Me too Hobbesmanc. I think it's a lovely idea.

My Mum rests next to a young man obviously killed in a road accident. He was 29 (in 1981). The grave was tended for years but stopped in 2021. I always put some of Mum’s flowers in his wee flower holder.

Me too! DP and I got involved to meet new people in our village; we’ve now ‘adopted’ a married couple and their baby, all of whom died >100 years ago and restored their graves. I find it quite peaceful to go there and tend their graves, and I feel it keeps their memory alive a little longer as it occurred to me that nobody else would have said their names in a long time, especially the baby who never got to live his life

Absolutely lovely idea. And if I came to visit a family member's grave and there were unknown flowers on it, I'd think it was a lovely gesture and would fail to find anything odd about it.

Also my Nanny and my best friend’s Nanny happen to be buried right opposite one another even though they died 10 years apart; they never met in life but it’s comforting to us both that they’re ‘neighbours’ now and we each leave flowers for our ‘other Nanny’ when we visit our own 🥰

You’re a lovely person to think of it OP.

Why so?
I think my dad’s grave might be classed as ‘neglected’ as we rarely visit, and though there are some artificial flowers but they’re starting to fade.

My dad is anything but forgotten however. I am out and about, living my life to the full, remembering him in everything I do. Some families don’t do grave-visiting, and mine are one of those.

I think it's a lovely thing to do. I similarly researched the history of our house and discovered a man who died here is buried in the cemetery over the road. We quite regularly go and see Mr Potter when we're cutting through the cemetery. Bulbs are a nice idea though Mr Potter's grave is covered in wild flowers which is nice too.

You might feel that way, but others might feel offended and upset. Like it was being implied that the grave was neglected and they'd needed to step in. There's no way of knowing how they'd feel about it, is it worth potentially causing upset? Obviously that doesn't apply in OP's scenario where the deceased's family won't see it.

@Oysterbabe perhaps some would be upset, some thrilled. I'd actually be intrigued

What is the point of a grave other than to be remembered?

It’s a lovely gesture. Kind and thoughtful and quite frankly what could all do with in abundance right now!

Exactly this. As the wise Terry Pratchett said - a man (or woman) is not dead while their name is still spoken. Remembering is so important.

That’s a beautiful thing to do, a simple act of thoughtfulness is a wonderful thing.

It would be something I would do.

I remember as a kid, there were three very old graves we used to pluck flowers and put them on there.3 siblings aged 1,3 and 5.All died within 3 days of each other.I think it's a sweet thing to do OP.

Nobody is going to be upset by flowers left on their loved ones grave. I'd be quite touched actually, would be lovely.

I love that you'd do this, crack on.

Or that someone was passing or visiting a relative's grave and popped a flower on theirs. Most people are well intentioned, especially over something like this.

Your post has cheered me and put me in a positive frame of mind for the day OP! Thank you!

Well, that's given me a good laugh! Many thanks.

As for the OP, what a lovely thing to do.