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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a gut feeling about DH

283 replies

northstar19 · 03/02/2023 21:15

I think he's met somebody else/is speaking to somebody else. It's just a gut feeling and I can't seem to shake it off. Now I'm paranoid about everything he does and I don't know where to go from here.

Started a couple of weeks back. Seems distant, less talkative. Started the gym suddenly, and started going for runs late at night. Didn't think much of that then, but a couple of nights ago I woke up during the early hours (about 3am) and he was sat on his phone. He didn't know I'd woken so I asked him what he was doing and he said he'd just got up for the toilet and couldn't get back to sleep. Tomorrow he said he's going out for most of the day to see his grandparents, we usually go together as I drive but he's not asked this time.

I think I'm overthinking it but I have this feeling I cannot ignore.

AIBU here? How do I find out without asking him what's going on? I don't know the password to his phone and vice versa so not like I could check that way either. Please tell me I'm being ridiculous.

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 05/02/2023 14:38

Coffeeandchocs · 04/02/2023 21:03

The OP has never said he is always on his phone, she said once that he’d been on it in the night.
He’s not “suddenly interested in getting in shape”, the OP said he used to go to the gym a lot, he’s just picked back up an old hobby.
You and other posters have whipped her up into a frenzy. If she’d posted saying she’d started going to the gym again and once used her phone during the night and now her other half was accusing her of being unfaithful you’d all be telling her he was insecure and controlling and she should LTB.
This thread is absolutely astounding to me.

Show quote history

This. All day long.

Grizzledstrawberry · 05/02/2023 17:32

Definitely this.

Been on your phone during the night isn't unusual, I've often done it when I'm frustrated that I can't get back to sleep, and from the sounds of it it was once, not a regular occurrence, I've woken up to my partner downstairs watching telly/playing games many times.

The gym obviously isn't a lie as he's posted photos, so the membership isn't fictitious to cover a affair.

The OP has said he's reassured her, hasn't gone mad (which in my experience they do because they know they are close to getting caught and try their hardest to deflect)

Everything is pointing to him telling the truth, and your so right about the double standards, if the tables was turned it would be such a different story.

FloydPepper · 05/02/2023 17:43

BadNomad · 04/02/2023 22:03

Could you be projecting maybe? Has someone caught your eye and it's making you feel guilty?

I mean, that’s usually thrown at men who are suspicious, not women.

I suspect that post won’t go down well on here…

scottishclive · 12/02/2023 09:45

in my gym you have to use a passcode to gain entry, hence the app and account has a full record of when I go into and leave the gym. Ask to see that so you can be sure he has went to the gym as he has said - that not something can be faked unless he has got an accomplice.

Liorae · 14/02/2023 15:47

scottishclive · 12/02/2023 09:45

in my gym you have to use a passcode to gain entry, hence the app and account has a full record of when I go into and leave the gym. Ask to see that so you can be sure he has went to the gym as he has said - that not something can be faked unless he has got an accomplice.

I very much doubt the gym would give op access to those records.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/02/2023 15:50

northstar19 · 04/02/2023 22:01

He's uploaded a pic of himself at the gym 😂 wow couldn't be more obvious he's trying to prove himself

How about introducing an old fashioned test? Chuck him into a deep pond and if he floats, he's guilty and if he sinks and drowns, he's innocent.

Because that's the way this relationship is going now.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 14/02/2023 18:49

Liorae · 14/02/2023 15:47

I very much doubt the gym would give op access to those records.

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I think she meant ask him can she see his phone app……..

redskydelight · 15/02/2023 08:42

DotAndCarryOne2 · 14/02/2023 18:49

I think she meant ask him can she see his phone app……..

Show quote history

Yes, that's not remotely controlling Hmm

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