Our 14 year old DD is a wonderful, intelligent and happy girl, she is in Y9 at an independent all girls school and has a lovely bunch of friends.
She does however have quite a short fuse and like most teenage girls can be at times be quite grumpy, she also takes no prisoners and is quite good at putting up heathy barriers when it comes to her peers.
I would say she has a good sense of worth which we obviously encourage and the following is an isolated incident.
I caught the tale end of her telling her DS at the dinner table that a girl in her year had slapped her, the 1st time she had turned round she thought it must have been an accident, the 2nd she had asked her to stop the 3 time she actually caught her head and DD had turned round and punched her in the Jaw.
The girl was initially quite shocked and then had ran off an told a teacher supported by her friends. DD was asked by the teacher to have a chat she had explained the situation, teacher was really kind about it and just spoke to to DD about managing feelings and to come and talk to her in future.
However what has came out in this is this DH has fully supported DD in her actions, told her she was absolutely in the right and to do the same thing again.
Talking it over tonight he said that DD has the right the defend herself and couldn’t be punished for doing so, he also said that if she hadn’t retaliated in the way she did in found of a group of mean girls she would have opened herself up to bullying…
I however feel that DD has enough about her to do this without using her hands and worry that if this became more than a one off incident the repercussion it would have for her.
Mostly it’s highlighted that DH and I are obviously on quite different pages to how our DC should act in this kind of situation and wondered what people thought.