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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have become terrified of dog walks

213 replies

GoneToday · 02/02/2023 22:07

I absolutely adore my dogs and walks are (or were) the highlight of my day.
I walk them in a variety of lovely
places - very rurally, semi rural and also in large parks. I’ve walked dogs my whole life.
I mostly walk alone as I don’t live locally to any dog owning friends and I work shifts so it’s not easy to arrange regular dog walking friends as my times vary.
The last couple of weeks I’ve began to feel very uneasy on dog walks, the trees and fields that used to feel peaceful and beautiful have begun to feel ominous and almost foreboding.
I know there has been a poor missing woman who has vanished from a dog walk, plus a local sex attack in a very ‘safe and quiet’ village field in daylight.
However, I have heard horror stories before and although I’ve felt awful for the individual I’ve never felt personally under much threat.
My dogs are small, soft dogs and are no way physically protecting. I feel at my whits end.
I’m not prone to drama or excessive anxiety but Aibu to feel that dog walking as a lone female is not safe?
Maybe IABU, I just can’t shake the feeling and it’s genuinely ruining my life which sounds dramatic but I don’t know what to do with my dogs now as I spend walks feeling scared. I do have complex trauma history but that was decades ago and I’ve walked dogs happily for years since then.
Any thoughts welcome.

OP posts:
Lizzy1980 · 04/02/2023 00:55

OP I understand what you’re saying. Like you, my daily dog walk has always been the highlight of my day. An hour to myself just thinking and taking in my environment. I have always walked in slightly isolated places so as to avoid people and get a bit of peace and quiet. I too have been feeling a little on edge recently. It’s a combination of things. Horrendous news stories regarding women being attacked or harassed and so many incidents involving dogs attacking and even killing people. There was also that spate of dog thefts that started during the first lockdown. About 4 months ago when I was out with my dog I turned a corner and there was a man masturbating in the bushes. He saw me and stopped, I hurried past and headed towards the housing estate. I initially felt shocked and intimidated. That soon turned to anger that some pervert had made me feel that way when I was just going about my business. It was about 2pm! I’m always looking over my shoulder now and I’ve become more aware of how vulnerable I am. I have started walking in the park which is always fairly busy or in places where there are usually other dog walkers. I miss the solitude but I was starting to feel so uneasy. Isn’t it sad that we have to stop doing the things we once enjoyed for fear of being involved in some sort of ‘incident’

Lizzy1980 · 04/02/2023 01:00

Also, I have a slight physical disability which means that I could not ‘run away’ if I had to and I’d have no chance of fighting anyone off. My health issue has worsened recently which I know is making me feel a bit more vulnerable

oakleaffy · 04/02/2023 01:29

Lizzy1980 · 04/02/2023 01:00

Also, I have a slight physical disability which means that I could not ‘run away’ if I had to and I’d have no chance of fighting anyone off. My health issue has worsened recently which I know is making me feel a bit more vulnerable

I can no longer run, {Knee}, but I carry a heavy stick {Useful to use against untrained, aggressive mutts that so many seem to have, since ''Lockdown'' if they threaten my well behaved dog}

Lizzy1980 · 04/02/2023 01:36

QueefQueen80s · 02/02/2023 23:57

I sometimes think how vulnerable I am.. but don't want to give up my beautiful dog walks for a tiny chance. Is there anywhere to buy pepper spray?

I feel so sad for that dog walkers daughters 😢 how can it be good news.

When there was that spate of dog thefts recently I looked into getting some sort of spray. I eventually bought one from Amazon. It’s legal (pepper spray isn’t) and you’re supposed to spray it at anyone trying to attack you. I think it’s more to startle them than anything and it contains a purple dye that they say can’t be washed off for at least 48 hours which makes it easy for police to identify them. I did feel a bit daft and dramatic after I bought it but I was feeling a bit worried at the time. I’d not long adopted a dog and she’s considered quite a ‘desirable breed’ 🙄 Hopefully I’ll never have to use it but it made me feel a little bit safer at the time so where’s the harm. I’ll post the link in case you want to have a look

Lizzy1980 · 04/02/2023 01:36

Sabre SABRE-SDID-22 UK Legal Criminal Identifier Self-Defence Spray, UV and Purple Marking dye with Clip Attachment, 19ml amzn.eu/d/68COEOH

been and done it. · 04/02/2023 01:44

GoneToday · 02/02/2023 22:17

Interesting, and really depressing, that others are all feeling the same at the moment. It’s just shit isn’t it.

We have lovely water meadows by us for dog walking. When I find myself alone I start to freak out..it's scarey.

oakleaffy · 04/02/2023 02:05

Lizzy1980 · 04/02/2023 01:36

When there was that spate of dog thefts recently I looked into getting some sort of spray. I eventually bought one from Amazon. It’s legal (pepper spray isn’t) and you’re supposed to spray it at anyone trying to attack you. I think it’s more to startle them than anything and it contains a purple dye that they say can’t be washed off for at least 48 hours which makes it easy for police to identify them. I did feel a bit daft and dramatic after I bought it but I was feeling a bit worried at the time. I’d not long adopted a dog and she’s considered quite a ‘desirable breed’ 🙄 Hopefully I’ll never have to use it but it made me feel a little bit safer at the time so where’s the harm. I’ll post the link in case you want to have a look

Show quote history

My lovely old Lurcher attracted ''Trouble''
Travellers were obsessed with trying to get her..It was so bad I seriously considered buying a replica gun it was that bad. {They were sold locally at that time}

She was small, broken coated, and the gang who were after her were quite aggressive.

I was fit and could run fast in those days.

QueefQueen80s · 04/02/2023 09:49

Thankyou @Lizzy1980 I'll look into that!
Just read that the police don't think a crime has been committed 🤯 she was on a work call, had just arranged a playdate by text.. so yeah I guess they're thinking drowning.

QueefQueen80s · 04/02/2023 09:58

With all the drones etc you'd think they'd be able to see her downstream. It looks like a calm river, if she fell in you'd think she'd be able to get to bank quickly.. unless she fell and bumped her head. So sad.
I'd feel some relief she wasn't taken but just so fucking sad for her kids. I let my dog drink at the river near me and go down a little embankment, not anymore I don't think.

BiteyShark · 04/02/2023 12:58

I can understand a situation which would have taken her near the river.

I have hauled my dog up a river embankment before when he couldn't get out himself. And I probably would have tried to get a ball near it etc. And once he went in the sea near a rip tide and it took all my strength not to jump in to get him.

lljkk · 04/02/2023 14:15

It doesn't look like a calm river to me, it looks deep & fast current.

runforyourdog · 04/02/2023 14:27

Not walking for some reason but I have felt this running. I think particularly because I've not got many clothes on when running! I run on very quiet country lanes and I'd feel really vulnerable if vans etc came past.

You are probably more at risk of cows and stuff than strange men but I don't think you are being over the top to feel the way you do.

Tessabelle74 · 06/02/2023 18:33

Strange and personal question, but are you nearing menopause? Anxiety is now a recognised symptom of peri-menopause/ menopause so could it perhaps be contributing to your feelings?

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