AIBU to insist on exclusive breastfeeding

[closingtime101]

Hi all. My daughter is 6 months old and so far I have exclusively breastfed her. I have been out a handful of times in those six months, and each time I have left expressed milk in a bottle for her. She does tend to get quite upset on these occasions so it is rare for me to leave her. I like breastfeeding and I am lucky that it has been easy for me.
The issue is that my daughter is very attached to me and reliant on breastfeeding for comfort & sleep. It has led to my husband feeling frustrated that he can’t settle her and my parents have said several times that they don’t feel she knows them very well or is comfortable with them “because she is breastfed”. In addition to this, she is very wakeful and wakes every hour and a half / two hours in the night wanting to be fed, which I do swiftly, often not waking my husband up. My husband thinks if she had a bottle she wouldn’t wake so often as many of the formula fed babies we know sleep through the night.
I have been feeling a bit of pressure to stop breastfeeding from my husband and my family. Nothing overt, but lots of comments like “it’ll be easier once she’s weaned” and “we’d love to babysit, but while she’s being breastfed it’s hard”. We started giving her food last week and she is not at all interested yet, which I think my husband is sad about as he felt he could get more involved.
I feel as though everyone thinks they would have a better relationship with her if I stopped breastfeeding her. I am worried that it is me being selfish wanting to continue breastfeeding because I enjoy it; I love the time with her and the bond I feel; selfishly it is a lot easier than sterilising bottles etc, and it’s cheaper. I am also the one who is with her all day and all night and breastfeeding always settles her - it’s the greatest weapon in my arsenal! I know my husband enjoys being able to feed her and he has asked me to express a bit more so he can. I know it sounds silly but it’s been so cold at home I haven’t wanted to sit in the expressing bra! But I know one solution would be for me to express daily so he could give her a bottle and feel more connected to her. Another solution would be to move to combi-feeding, but I am reluctant to do that as she hasn’t had any formula yet and I am weirdly proud I have managed to sustain her for so long. I know that last part sounds so stupid, but I’m being honest, it’s how I feel.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I move to combi-feeding or bottle-feeding so others can feel more connected to her?

Ok just trying to dissect this common sense. I’ll help if you are tired

OP has a breastfed baby who is happy breastfeeding
Her husband thinks baby should take a bottle because he’s jealous?
There are other ways one can bond with a baby…playing with them, bathing them, bedtime routine.
Grandparents are also similarly jealous and being pricks about it
But there are other ways to bond with a baby (see above)
So to placate these people, OP needs to feed and pump, then she needs to wash the pump and then everyone else or probably her has to sort the bottles to feed a happy baby…so baby can be bottle fed

So no one’s life really is being ‘made easier’
Adults are being weird and jealous about breastfeeding and they are taking it out on OP

and you agree with them

‘……..’

Babies do grow, you know

I politely disagree, it does make life easier. Mum's are just glutton for punishment.

Out of interest, have you ever expressed?

I do agree with them. It doesn't take long to build a milk supply.

Some mums just want baby attached at the hip.

For you it was. For many of us, it was a massive faff and we chose not to do it and our children have wonderful bonds with family that didn’t involve just feeding.

OP’s baby is 6 months old, she’s going to be mobile soon if she isn’t already in the early stages of crawling and weaning, they’ll be chasing her around soon enough and oohing and awing over her crawling and soon walking on her own so to concentrate on this one singular thing when there are so many other experiences coming in is ridiculous.

A 6 month is is literally biologically designed to be attached to its mothers hip.
They grow up so quickly, there's really no need to breastfeed less or stop for anyone else's benefit.

Several several times. Over 125ml in the freezer

Have you ever breastfed/expressed?

here’s my experience.

breastfeeding- a guaranteed sit down between all the washing/cooking/other crap. 10 minutes to sit and rest, if I’m lucky someone brings me a cup of tea and a biscuit.

expressing- washing all the pump, bottles, sterilising. Get it all ready. Spend 30 minutes pumping, while someone else looks after the baby so can’t bring me a tea or start dinner or whatever.
then I get to rush round like a blue arsed fly getting dinner ready, making tea for the person sat on their arse feeding the baby, re washing the pump, setting up bottles for the next day.

and I have to do this every day, without fail, no days off, or my supply drops and I can’t express.

so 10 mins of one persons time vs. Over an hour of two peoples time.

yes, it’s me that’s being selfish.

I had an amzing milk supply with my first. Still couldn't express or bottle feed my child.

As for your "attached at the hip" comment - you don't sound as if you like women very much.

@BabyOnBoard90 you know we are a type of mammal called a carry mammal. Our babies are designed to cling to their mothers. It's our biological norm.

Biologically designed? They could be kidnapped and forget about you the next day lol

Ah, that's who you are. Good to know.

All well and good, though my point stands.

You can politely disagree in regards to your experience. But your experience does not speak for all women and it is wrong of you to presume you do. It's especially wrong for you to claim your opinion is 'common' sense, when even based on this thread alone it is not the common experience.

I don't like illogical assertions. Women are great, however.

Your experience, nor the OPs experience, doesn't speak for all women

Someone that's actually studied human science, and aware of factual truths? Yes

Your assertions as to what a biological fact is, isn't one simply because you feel it is.

I never claimed it did, nor did I claim my experience was common. I shared my personal experience on expressing in response to your sweeping generalisations.

What utterly shit advice. Ignore this nonsense OP.

That's just factually incorrect but whatever

Several kidnapped kids with no recollection of their parents suggests otherwise.

Imo those who express are gluttons for punishment. It’s double the work, and for what?

just to “be kind” to those who, let’s face it, aren’t doing the day in day out drudge of baby care, and just want to pick the nice easy bit where they get to sit on the sofa, taking one of mum’s only opportunities for a sit down away from her.

I agree with this, if she's not showing interest in food yet it would be nice for your husband to be able to feed her too and it's nice he feels so strongly about wanting to be more involved (especially after threads about crap useless husbands who do nothing)
My husband loved giving ours her bottles, he always did first thing and last thing as was at work during the day but that meant i got to have a more leisurely breakfast and in the evening a shower :-)

With respect, from previous threads babyonboard90 sleep trained at 4.5 months, has suggested that other posters leave 6mos to cry it out and suggested another poster needs to give a 5mo more solids. She's also claimed on this thread that her own baby would forget her in a day. Not someone I would take advice from.