Dd ill. She didn’t reply to my message

[Isitspringyettho]

My Dd is 4 and has been ill on and off since starting pre school, she’s also missed some pre school due to strikes etc
I recently started a job in someone’s home part time. I’ve had to cancel/rearrange the work a few times due to Dd being ill (have no parents around to help and Dh works full time) or due to strikes. She’s been understanding, until this last time when I apologised for not being able to make it due to Dd being v ill, she hasn’t replied to the message.
There is literally nothing I can do if my Dd is ill.
What would you think of this?
Aibu in thinking you just can’t work with young dc without any family around to help?

YABU, you DO have family to help…even if your DH works full time, he should be taking some of these dates off to look after his child. Of course she’s going to be annoyed, so her not replying is understandable.

When she took you on, did she know this was going to be all on you to stay at home with DD if she got poorly? Why cant DH take a day off to help, is there any reason it falls to you and not him every time?

Depends is your job a carer? Then I can understand why they are upset as they need someone reliable.

If it's something else like cleaning, gardening etc then they're being unreasonable.

It depends on how ‘recently’ you started the job and how many times you’ve been off. She probably just finds you unreliable is busy trying to find someone else to do the work.

Aibu in thinking you just can’t work with young dc without any family around to help?
Even if you don’t have extended family you so still have a husband who has a responsibility when she is ill too. Of course you’re going to find it more difficult to work if your husband thinks even while you are working DD is your responsibility and yours alone.

Are you self employed or are they your employer?

@MeMyCatsAndMyBooks If it's something else like cleaning, gardening etc then they're being unreasonable.

Why is it unreasonable though? If someone’s paying for a job to be done and has been cancelled on multiple times at the last minute within a relatively short time period they aren’t unreasonable with being unhappy with that person.

@MeMyCatsAndMyBooks I’m not a carer

What strikes? The first teachers' strike is tomorrow

Another DH with his very big and important full time job

Train or bus strikes perhaps?

We’re in a no win situation as if Dh takes the time off, his boss won’t be happy either. His job is full time, pays a lot more etc, he really can’t lose his job
I could find a babysitter, but not nice to leave Dd with a babysitter when she’s ill, it just feels impossible and I’m annoyed by how unprofessional it looks

I presume she’s in Scotland

Unreasonable for your DH not to take 50% of the days off when you're both working and Dd is sick.

How many times have you cancelled and in what time period?

@WindUpPenguin Not in U.K., strikes where I am for ages

YABU. The person you work for employed you as they needed someone to do a job.
Unfortunate as it is it's not their problem if your DD is poorly.

Are you able to work from home?

@DarkForces This is the third time in three weeks, have changed days to the weekend when Dh home and she was fine with this

Your DHs boss isn’t your employers problem though, it’s still on you. I presume you mean your annoyed at how unprofessional you look?

Your daughter has a father who should bear at least some responsibility

You’ve only recently started a job in someone’s home and have already cancelled or rearranged.

The person you’re working for probably thinks you’re taking the piss and are unreliable, hence why they’re not responding.

End of the day your daughters sickness isn’t their problem and they’re clearly annoyed.

@Crumpleton I know..it’s so hard though, this isn’t how I want it to be, I just want to work. It’s causing me such stress, Dd ill so often and the kids at school, I don’t see how it can work
I’m just wondering if the no reply means she’s not interested anymore

OP I don't mean to seem blunt but all families with 2 working parents need to deal with this from time to time. We don't have any family closer than 3 hours drive so when the kids are ill it's me or DH. DH is military so quite often it was 100% on me if he was away. I take leave, either annual leave or unpaid parental leave depending on the duration. When kids got a bit older I could (and do) work from home if I have to stay home with them and they're well enough to veg on the sofa or in bed. You need contingency plans and if your DH can take the odd day off so much the better.

You split the time off needed. I wouldn't be impressed if I employed you and you placed so little value on it. Your employer doesn't have to agree that your husband's very important man job should take president.

My DH is a surgeon, there are certain days he can't take time off (unless in an absolute emergency, then he can and does) but any day he can do his share then he does.

@VainAbigail I would hope they wouldn’t think I’m taking the piss as this is a genuine reason, she knew Dd was ill
and many kids and saw me ill too. Just feels a huge pressure and as though we’re all just pushing through illness