Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it shouldn't be this fucking hard to get a baby to nap in a cot?

174 replies

OdeToBarney · 30/01/2023 16:30

DD is 9 months.

Has napped in her cot once or twice and only then with a lot of tears and anguish - on both sides. She sleeps in her cot at night an absolute dream.

All naps are currently co-sleeping and it's affecting my mental health. I get no break all day long. It's miserable. DH helps where he can, but he's working Monday to Friday.

I've tried again with a cot nap this afternoon and she just refuses to lay down and go to sleep. I tried from 1.45 - 3.30, took her downstairs, we played, had a drink and a clean nappy and I'm currently trying again as she is going to be a mega rat bag this evening if she doesn't sleep at all. But she just keeps standing up and cruising round the cot, before dropping on her bum, crawling around and starting all over again. She's been awake since 10.45am this morning (she had an hours contact nap at 9.45 after being up since 6.30, which is all normal).

We've had a sleep consultant who basically couldn't give us any magic answers. She just said well you have a high needs child, it's never going to be easy.

I can't go on like this. Help me please wise people of MN!

OP posts:
Original poster
OdeToBarney · 30/01/2023 20:48

@SnappyDragony oh she would definitely see that as a game and an opportunity to use me as a climbing frame! Honestly she doesn't know how to chill, she just never stops. I honestly believe this is why she sleeps so well at night. 😕

OP posts:
Original poster
OdeToBarney · 30/01/2023 20:49

Of course they did @GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing - they just love to make us out to be liars don't they 🤣 a bit like when they seem really poorly and you take them to the doctors, all of a sudden they're bouncing off the walls 🙃

OP posts:
IWasFunBeforeMum · 30/01/2023 20:49

We kept our pram in the dining room and rocked it back and forth and slept like a dream for naps.

heartbreakhotel20 · 30/01/2023 20:52

I know it's not great but my son went through a phase of needing tv to sleep could you try a tv with baby sensory or blue planet etc on maybe a distraction would get her laying down long enough to drift off ? Xx

DeliberatelyObtuse · 30/01/2023 20:52

Ds1 never napped in his cot - only ever in his pram. Great when the weather was good and I could pop him in the garden. When the weather was rubbish I put the pram in the hall and he slept well. Not ideal but better than nothing.

Ds2 only ever napped in his cot

Original poster
OdeToBarney · 30/01/2023 20:52

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing funny you should say that, DD does seem very bright (I say that painfully aware that I am like "one of those mums" and that she's so obviously a pfb!) But she also has a heart murmur and is being sent for further investigations. Really interesting. Hope your dd is OK now.

OP posts:
MrsJBaptiste · 30/01/2023 20:55

My two always napped in their cots and were the kids who could be plonked in, left playing with toys then would flop and be fast asleep in any number of positions!

But... I stopped the early morning nap very early on and went to an 11-1pm long sleep when they were younger (lunch afterwards) then it moved to 12-2pm as they got to 18 months (lunch first although there were times when I'd turn my back only to find they'd fallen asleep mid mouthful, head on the highchair tray!)

ChildcareIsBroken · 30/01/2023 21:03

No advice how to make a baby nap in a cot - mine never did and I never found a solution.
My advice is: let go and try to enjoy it. It is your break, your excuse not to do any housework. You can read, watch a film, you can nap yourself... You can even do some admin from your phone if you really want to :)

Privatemedical246 · 30/01/2023 21:07

I ended up putting bedguards on our double bed. Lying next to him to fall asleep with some cuddles (no duvet) then he would stay asleep (most times) and I snuck out the room. Put baby monitor in our room too. I always made a cup of tea and took my tablet/book for the times he kept waking every time I tried to leave. At least if he was asleep next to me I could still chill for a bit. Rather than being on me.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/01/2023 21:13

OdeToBarney · 30/01/2023 20:52

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing funny you should say that, DD does seem very bright (I say that painfully aware that I am like "one of those mums" and that she's so obviously a pfb!) But she also has a heart murmur and is being sent for further investigations. Really interesting. Hope your dd is OK now.

My Dd is absolutely fine heart wise, thank you. She had to have two operations in her first year to fix a slightly complicated heart defect, poor thing, so I can’t really blame her for not being a good sleeper.

She didn’t totally sleep through the night properly without waking anyone until she was 5 - but it was more that she’d make noises in her sleep when she’d kicked off the duvet that you could hear from another room - and didn’t stop til you went in and put back the duvet. Believe me I tried everything it keep that duvet on!

People might say it’s just us comforting ourselves but I do believe a lot of high needs, very active babies are very bright.

gettingalifttothestation · 30/01/2023 21:24

I wouldn't keep on with the cot you could give bad associations and ruin the bedtime which is more important. Mine used to nap in the buggy. A pain because you have to walk but mine would stay asleep for a while after we got back

BabyMomma2021 · 30/01/2023 21:25

My baby would only cosleep for naps too so I was having a 2 hour nap each day. At first I was annoyed that I couldn't do what I wanted but then I just went with it and caught up on sleep or read my book or did online shopping etc. then did my chores when she was awake or once in bed at night.
Could you set up the bed do you could get out once she is asleep so that she could be safely left alone? I've seen people using large play pens with a mattress inside? Or a floor bed?

Original poster
OdeToBarney · 30/01/2023 21:37

MrsJBaptiste · 30/01/2023 20:55

My two always napped in their cots and were the kids who could be plonked in, left playing with toys then would flop and be fast asleep in any number of positions!

But... I stopped the early morning nap very early on and went to an 11-1pm long sleep when they were younger (lunch afterwards) then it moved to 12-2pm as they got to 18 months (lunch first although there were times when I'd turn my back only to find they'd fallen asleep mid mouthful, head on the highchair tray!)

Haha, I remember my younger brother doing this! What did you do with bottles with the nap 11-1? She currently has a bottle around 7am, breakfast 8.30, lunch 11.30, bottle 1pm, dinner 4.30, bottle 6pm.

OP posts:
Floofyduffypuddy · 30/01/2023 21:37

Agree that the last place they want to sleep on the day is on a cot! It's flat and quiet and boring.

I would tuck mine under arm and have TV on softly for me...and she might go ...and I could leave her on bed with pillow's at side...or on pushchair...

Or downstairs in a nest...

Never cot.

On sofa next to me etc.

Original poster
OdeToBarney · 30/01/2023 21:38

BabyMomma2021 · 30/01/2023 21:25

My baby would only cosleep for naps too so I was having a 2 hour nap each day. At first I was annoyed that I couldn't do what I wanted but then I just went with it and caught up on sleep or read my book or did online shopping etc. then did my chores when she was awake or once in bed at night.
Could you set up the bed do you could get out once she is asleep so that she could be safely left alone? I've seen people using large play pens with a mattress inside? Or a floor bed?

We'd need 3 King size bed guards and honestly that just seems a real faff - but I could definitely try cot mattress on the floor in her room, baby proofed of course.

OP posts:
Original poster
OdeToBarney · 30/01/2023 21:40

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/01/2023 21:13

My Dd is absolutely fine heart wise, thank you. She had to have two operations in her first year to fix a slightly complicated heart defect, poor thing, so I can’t really blame her for not being a good sleeper.

She didn’t totally sleep through the night properly without waking anyone until she was 5 - but it was more that she’d make noises in her sleep when she’d kicked off the duvet that you could hear from another room - and didn’t stop til you went in and put back the duvet. Believe me I tried everything it keep that duvet on!

People might say it’s just us comforting ourselves but I do believe a lot of high needs, very active babies are very bright.

Show quote history

I believe it too and I've heard lots of other mums/grans say the same. DM keeps telling me I'll be grateful for her forceful personality one day and I know she's right! Glad your DD is well 💗

OP posts:
Original poster
OdeToBarney · 30/01/2023 21:41

@Floofyduffypuddy if only they realised how good flat, quiet and boring is 🤣

OP posts:
Floofyduffypuddy · 30/01/2023 21:43

Indeed...I sigh with deep pleasure getting into bed! .. however I still remember being bored as a child in my cot prison 🤣

IAmTheWalrus85 · 30/01/2023 21:43

Probably unhelpful but neither of mine would nap in the cot until they were over one (despite as you say sleeping happily in it at night). After that they both started napping perfectly in the cot both at nursery and home for 2+ hours per day.

Tbh I regret how much of my maternity leaves I spent fruitlessly battling to get them to nap in the cot. With us both getting frustrated.

Have you heard of Possums sleep method? I don’t know much about it but apparently it’s about resetting your expectations of your productivity and just getting on with your day instead of battling to get your baby to nap at certain times.

Mamai90 · 30/01/2023 21:50

My daughter has never napped in her cot, she didn't sleep in it at night either. So no answers here unfortunately. I just get out of the house and let her nap in the pram. Anything that needs doing gets left until DH is home (and even then it sometimes doesnt). I just gave up, it was affecting me more to keep trying. Sorry, I know how you feel.

Original poster
OdeToBarney · 30/01/2023 21:53

I don't think I ever felt like that @Floofyduffypuddy 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
OdeToBarney · 30/01/2023 21:54

IAmTheWalrus85 · 30/01/2023 21:43

Probably unhelpful but neither of mine would nap in the cot until they were over one (despite as you say sleeping happily in it at night). After that they both started napping perfectly in the cot both at nursery and home for 2+ hours per day.

Tbh I regret how much of my maternity leaves I spent fruitlessly battling to get them to nap in the cot. With us both getting frustrated.

Have you heard of Possums sleep method? I don’t know much about it but apparently it’s about resetting your expectations of your productivity and just getting on with your day instead of battling to get your baby to nap at certain times.

I haven't heard of that but will take a look, thank you. I have a feeling I will end up the same, but I also can't go on how I am so can't win either way 😩

OP posts:
Feetupteashot · 30/01/2023 21:55

No answers. One napped if fed to sleep the other only napped with a buggy ride. Miss wandering around with them in a sling now, both loved that.

BertieBotts · 30/01/2023 22:02

Sorry, I have 3 children and I have literally never been able to put one in a cot and wave them off to sleep Confused Absolutely no idea how people do this before they're about three and you can explain the concept of bedtime, total and utter witchcraft!

Actually DS2 used to fall asleep in the carrycot, when he was newborn. But never past 3/4 months or so. And I put it down to him being in NICU - the others never did it.

I get them to nap alone by lying in bed and sneaking away - stick some pillows on the floor around and put a monitor on, they're unlikely to do much damage. Presumably at 9 months she can't open the bedroom door?

Or I feed them to sleep and then place carefully in cot - this worked beautifully for both DS2 and DS3.

lifehappens12 · 30/01/2023 22:04

For nap training I started by sorting out the first nap first. So if she still has a morning nap - work on that one first in the cot. Then be consistent - each morning nap is in the cot until she has built up a routine.

I also used to always put mine in a sleeping bag for nap (summer thin tog) to give the message it was time for sleep.

Swipe left for the next trending thread