WIBU to have asked for a favour?

[NothingOnTopButABucketAndAMop]

My car failed it’s MOT on Tuesday, I could not afford the repairs so it’s off the road basically.
I don’t go many places anyway but I did need shopping so I messaged a friend telling her my car was off the road and could she take us shopping sometime this weekend.
Initially she said she would then a few hours later (when her husband got home if that means anything!) she messaged back saying actually she had too much on. It would have taken her an hour and a half max.
Now I’m thinking WIBU to have even asked at all??!

Just do an online shop. I wouldn't expect anyone to give up an afternoon of their weekend to take me shopping.

I always use a £1 Asda shop, get it later at night when the kids are asleep so I can put it away in peace

Tesco flexi saver slot is £1.50 or whoosh same day delivery for £2.99

Not unreasonable to ask, and not unreasonable for your friend to decline.

Oh you were cheeky to ask

You wanted her to drive 45 mins, wait 30 mins while you do your shopping, drive another 45 mins home, just to save you £5 delivery fee ?!

It's both fine for you to ask and fine for her to say no.
If delivery is a fiver this is probably similar to petrol costs to be fair.

For Tescos where I live the 10pm - 11pm slot is £2 every day of the week. We live very close to the nearest Tesco but it is still cheaper to pay that (in fact we have a delivery saver which is even cheaper) than to pay the petrol to drive there.

If you book it for really late at night, that'll drop right down. If you can't afford an extra £5 on your shop I'm assuming you weren't offering petrol money or a coffee at the cafe etc, just 35-45 minutes each way to traipse around you round the shop or sit in the car for another 45 minutes minimum and then the same in return.

I understand WHY you asked and given its a request not a demand, you're fine to ask. But expecting someone to give up several hours on a Saturday at their own expense is a big ask.

P

Delivery would cost you £5 but you will be adding £10 to her petrol that’s before you take into account her time.

If you were my mate I would much rather give you a fiver than have to use my morning or afternoon driving you round at my own expense.

I’m not surprised if her husband told her she was being a mug to agree to this. He was right.

I think Op is hoping someone will tell her how the mean husband has probably banned the wife doing it.

If he didn’t think had anything to do with the decision, is was probably because didn’t want to do it in the first place but felt she couldn’t say no and he pointed out it was a bit of a piss take. Or reminded her they have plans that would need to be changed, if taking 3 hours to help a friend was added in.

Nor convinced Op is a really good friend of this woman either. How do you drive, but now know (roughly) how long it takes to drive to your friends?

As pp have said go for the late night online shops if you choose online

That's too much when other options are available.

Her fuel to drive 20mins to your house and back and 15mins each way to the shops most likely costs more than the £5 delivery fee you are saying you can’t afford. Also, if you choose a slot that is broader in terms of time you can get them cheaper, worth a look, mine only cost £2 the other day.

I would imagine her dh might have come home and reminded her of all of the other things they need to do this weekend and how inconvenient a 2.5hr commitment is (let’s be honest about timings here including in and out of car, unloading, general chitchat) given you could easily order online. He also may have suggested that it is an unreasonable request which I agree with, sorry.

Would the round trip not cost her at least £5 in petrol?!? Would you have paid for that?

I thought you weren’t unreasonable until you mentioned that £5 was too much for delivery yet your friend had a distance to travel which you obviously weren’t intending paying petrol for. I’m glad she changed her mind. Also if you were intending asking not as a one off. Yabu

I would not have the time to do this for you over the next few days.

It’s ok to ask but it’s fine for her to say no.

What YABU about is the fact that you are now getting annoyed that’s she said she can’t do it.

Do you have any family or friends closer?
As a 20 min drive just for her to get to yours is a pain.

so can you walk to the shop or cant you? Your post is not clear

I have been in the position where haven't had the car or couldn't drive due to having an operation. I do have a husband here however how could have drove for me but the does work long hours and is sometimes away for a few days too for work. Friends have come and collected me and brought me on a day out including shopping plus mother in law will pick up bits when she is in the hops for me. However i have never asked outright for a lift to the shops etc. I do live in the country though with no shops that can walk too, and only can get delivery here from Tesco's in the past 6 months. I think your annoyance is more from the fact that your friend originally said yes and then back tracked. As people say order online , look for cheaper delivery slots ( but to me 5e is very cheap price). If a shop is within walking distance walk and get you need immediately.

Try Ocado, they always have some slots for free or cheap especially the later in the day ones.

Rude.

You can get a same day Amazon delivery free if you spend £40.00. I have got rid of my car, but try to be independent with online shopping and the occasional taxi.

You weren't unreasonable to ask, she wasn't unreasonable to say no.
Had you offered to cover her fuel costs at least?

I’ll do that for a good friend as a one off but it’s a lot to ask. That’s almost 90 minutes driving and add shopping time on a Saturday for something where there’s a lot of alternatives.
I guess I might have suggested online shopping but if friend was short on funds, I’ll find it easy and so convenient to transfer the £5 for online shopping delivery than doing the shopping trip.

So you weren’t planning on giving her any petrol money?

really???

This is seriously CF territory.