WIBU to have asked for a favour?

[NothingOnTopButABucketAndAMop]

My car failed it’s MOT on Tuesday, I could not afford the repairs so it’s off the road basically.
I don’t go many places anyway but I did need shopping so I messaged a friend telling her my car was off the road and could she take us shopping sometime this weekend.
Initially she said she would then a few hours later (when her husband got home if that means anything!) she messaged back saying actually she had too much on. It would have taken her an hour and a half max.
Now I’m thinking WIBU to have even asked at all??!

I don't think @NothingOnTopButABucketAndAMopis planning to come back and explain why they expected their friend to give up at least two hours of their time and spend a lot of money on fuel just to take them shopping.

Again, working on the assumption that if the OP can't even suck up a small delivery charge on an online shop, they weren't planning to cover their friend's fuel costs. Just expecting the friend to lose several hours of their time and spend (more than the average supermarket delivery charge!) on fuel.

If I was your friend I would've said no because I don't even go shopping myself, I do it online. Absolutely hate shopping - especially on a weekend😖

N’ah, I’m not buying this.

Assuming your car was on the road, does it run on fresh air??

OP, you know darn well you’re being a CF if you weren’t intending to offer her £5 petrol money, at the very least.

What you're asking her to do is a real PITA though, just do an online shop!

If you can't afford the repairs, are you going to be able to afford them next week? Otherwise I'd also be wary that this is going to be the first but not the last time.

"Delivery would add at least £5 to my shopping which I can’t really afford but I’ll have to do that now."

But it's OK for your friend to pay the the petrol and drive for over an hour for you to do a 30 minute shop?!!!!! YABVU! You seem very entitled.

A half hour drive is quite far away , that would cost me quite a bit in petrol for an hours round trip.
Plus you say 15 mins to Tesco , but then you would probably take an hour to do your shopping…

So really your friend is doing : 1 hour total drive to get to you and back
30 mins from your house to tesco
Waiting on you shopping for an hour
So that’s a minimum of 2.5 hours and would probably be longer …

Its an unreasonable request.
Just book a dot com order

It really depends though. Everyone is very quick to jump on OP that she was being unreasonable. OP is there some kind of back story of you spending time and money to help your friend? As others have said, I would offer a friend doing a similar favour more than £5 to cover her petrol and time. But equally I wouldn’t accept it as the friend. If you’re the kind of friend who is always asking favours and never returning them/offering to pay expenses then stop being that person.

You weren't unreasonable to ask for help but she wasn't unreasonable to say she couldn't help.

That’s a lot, tbh. I don’t have spare time in a large chunk of time like this at the weekends due to various kids clubs etc.

Just book a delivery

It's pretty funny to think you're not being unreasonable to ask someone to drive quite a long way to pick you up and then drive some more to take you shopping, on a weekend, to wait around while you shop, and then drive you back home, and then "it's only 45 minutes" drive back to their house - to save you £5!

Oh I've just read your updates about the distance and you wanting her to give up hours of her weekend to save yourself a fiver

Nah, you're not just unreasonable - you're a massive CF 🤣

Friends help each other out but you only live 15 mins from tesco so I wouldn’t have asked for a favour on this occasion

Did it not occur to you on Tuesday/Wednesday that you'd need to plan a grocery shop and find a way of doing it?

So how much petrol money would you have offering your friend?

So - 90 minutes' travel time in total plus the time you take to get your shopping?

That's an unreasonable request.

You aren't unreasonable to ask (though maybe a little given how far she has to drive). She's not unreasonable to decline. A better solution: "Hey friend, my car is off the road and I really need to get some shopping. I wondered if you'd mind taking me? I'd love to buy you lunch so we can have some time together and then pick up a few groceries after. Does that work for you?" Might cost you more than the delivery fee though.

I wouldn't ask someone to basically give up half their Saturday so I could go shopping.

I think she probably didn't think through exactly what you were asking her when she initially said yes, then realised how much of a pain it would be so had to say no instead.

If you can't afford the fiver you think a slot would cost you though, how were you going to pay for the petrol to put in your own car if it was still working?

It wouldn’t have crossed my mind to ask a favour like that. It comes across that you expected her to do this for nothing considering you are saying you can’t afford £5 delivery charge. If you’re not driving around this week surely you have saved money on petrol? Who is ‘us’ when you say you asked her to take us shopping? Do you have a partner? If so where is he at the weekend? Or the kids dad? I would personally have done an online shop or asked dad/family member to look after the kids so I could go shopping myself, either walk or get a bus to the shop then get a cab back.

whether it’s a 20-30minute drive from hers to yours it doesn’t matter, it’s not exactly round the corner, then an extra 15 mins to Tesco each way plus at least 30 minutes to shop could be more if it’s busy being a weekend. To expect this without even offering petrol money or a favour in return is certainly taking the mick in my eyes. Would you do the same for her? (Of course you will say yes but really think about it)

maybe she felt like she had to say yes when you initially asked without thinking how much of her time it would take up, I don’t really see my friends at the weekend as that is everyone’s family time.

Yabu.

I think the asking is fine but i would have expected a no as well, You should prefer to either taxi or online shop rather than interfere in your friends weekend like that. also wouldne have been hour and a half max if its 45 minutes each way just for travel thats 1.5 hrs JUST for travel

But wouldn't you have offered at least £5 in petrol money, if she'd by driving for over an hour and giving up her time for you?

also you say you cant affford the £5 for delivery BUT that measns you wouldnt have even offered her fuel?? so you expect her to drive you whilst also spending her own money whilst also her time

You going on about how it would only take so much time is very unreasonable. Also your moaning about how online shopping would cost you more money is while expecting your friend to pick up the cost of the drive and to give up her time is very unreasonable.

It depends when you shop what the delivery charge is, it can be as little as £1 for Sainsburys if you stay in and are prepared to get up early or late! I never pay £5 ever.

Half an hour before she even picks you up? She must live some distance away, so not reasonable, sensible or economically sound.

not all delivery slots are £5 - there are much cheaper slots late at night or ealry morning