Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weird to go to a concert/holiday with 16 year old daughter?

468 replies

RedLines · 26/01/2023 09:56

I am a father of 4 and only my youngest is at home.
Divorced and have my 16 year old daughter half the time.
I have taken her to a couple of concerts - Billy Eilish etc and have just bought a couple of tickets for another concert, at her request.

My new partner of over a year is very put out by this and thinks it is wierd and unhealthy for a father to be taking his daughter to a concert.

Similarly, I have an interest in a house in Spain and last year went to Spain to the house with her for a fortnight, the other kids were busy and didn't come or there was only a couple of days overlap with my eldest daughter.

My partner thinks that it is really weird that a father goes on holiday alone with his daughter.
For context this is a house that has been in the family for 40 years and has 4 bedrooms and two bathrooms and has been a holiday destination every year for all of the family.

I am blindsided by the position taken by my partner!

Can I ask if

1.) It is unusual or wierd for a father to go to a music concert with his 16 year old daughter

2.)It is unusual or wierd for a father to go on holiday with his 16 year old daughter (she was 15 last summer)

OP posts:
keeponandonandon · 26/01/2023 12:58

Your partner has some serious issues with your poor daughter - she is implying you your relationship is inappropriate. I'm not sure how you will be able move on from that with her partner.
I am worried about what a warped mind your she has, you need to really consider your relationship with this woman as she sounds unhinged and jealous, it won't change, it will only get worse and if you're not careful you will start going along with her unreasonable demands for a quiet life.

Nottogetapenny · 26/01/2023 12:58

Not weird at all. It sound like you have a lovely father daughter relationship, enjoying shared interests and holidays
long May it last.

clipclop5 · 26/01/2023 13:00

Not weird at all. Your partner obviously has major jealousy issues! Your DD is very lucky to have such a fabulous dad, and it’s a massive compliment that she still wants to spend time with you

Teenagekicksmyass · 26/01/2023 13:01

Your partner is weird. Going to concerts is how my DH and 17 year old DD bond. They are both obsessed with music!

Rockbird · 26/01/2023 13:02

My entire music education came from my dad. He took me to my first concert in 1980 when I was 8 (for those saying it would have been weird in the dim and distant past) and took me until I left home. He travelled for work and we often went with him one by one, sharing hotel rooms etc. Your partner is the weird one for what she's insinuating.

Simulacra · 26/01/2023 13:02

YANBU. I lived with my Dad as a teenager and we did all sorts together - gigs, football matches, cinema, holidays, etc / until he met his next (fourth) wife and she “put her foot down” and said it “is creepy and weird”.

She eroded our relationship with frightening speed, booted me out when I was 18 so I didn’t get to finish my A Levels (October born) and I haven’t seen him for 6 years now.

Ignore her or better still, sack her off. She will only get worse.

Hesma · 26/01/2023 13:04

I think you sound like a lovely dad and I don’t like what you partner is insinuating. Either she’s got weird paedo vibes going on or she’s jealous of your relationship with your daughter. Either way it would be a major red flag to me!

Enjoy these precious moments you get to spend with your youngest… they’re the best memories for both of you.

PrinnyPree · 26/01/2023 13:05

Don't think I've ever seen a 100% on the voting for YANBU before, and of course YANBU, you sound like a great Dad. And very angry your partner has tried to alter a healthy lovely relationship with your daughter by suggesting it's "weird" with whatever THAT'S supposed to imply.

LizzieBrooks · 26/01/2023 13:05

Your partner is weird and sounds jealous. She’s trying to come between you and your daughter.

LotteLomax · 26/01/2023 13:06

Your girlfriend is jealous. Time to tell her adios I’m afraid. She is trying to create a wedge between you and your flesh and blood. Not on.

DanglyThings · 26/01/2023 13:06

No! It is not weird! You are not weird! You are a lovely dad and it sounds like you and your daughter have a great relationship. Hold onto that forever.

Has your new partner (who IS weird) commented on anything else you've found strange @RedLines ???

MathiasBroucek · 26/01/2023 13:08

YANBU. I agree that your partner's behaviour is odd. Whilst it could be a red flag, it's worth considering whether there is there anything in her history (or her family's) that means she looks at daddy/daughter relationships oddly

Basilthymerosemary · 26/01/2023 13:11

Dump the partner. You'll find this will escalate over time until you lose contact with daughter due to partner.

HideTheCroissants · 26/01/2023 13:13

Not weird! A friend of mine regularly takes his daughter to concerts as his wife (her mum) and her boyfriend don’t enjoy them. Before DD moved away she went to some things with me if we shared the interest and some things with DH if it was more his “thing”.

CoffeeLover90 · 26/01/2023 13:14

RedLines · 26/01/2023 10:50

She has two children herself, both boys, similar ages

Show quote history

She has boys so does she not take them on days out or on holidays because it's weird?
LTB.
Seriously, sounds like you and daughter have a great relationship so don't let anyone try and stand in the way of that.

PousseyNotMoira · 26/01/2023 13:14

Does she not go on holiday with them?!

Remona · 26/01/2023 13:14

The only weird thing here is your partner.

noimaginationforausername · 26/01/2023 13:16

Absolutely not weird at all and trust me a 16 year old would be the first one to tell you if they thought it was!

I would have loved a dad like you.

Violetribbons · 26/01/2023 13:21

Unusual for there to be an absolutely unanimous YANBU. And, of course, YANBU and sound like a lovely dad.

Blube · 26/01/2023 13:24

flippingflippers · 26/01/2023 10:01

Your partner's trying to spoil your relationship with your daughter.

She'd be told to hit the road, asap. Absolutely shocking behaviour on her part. She sounds like a jealous teenager!

This

Cheesandcrackers · 26/01/2023 13:25

You must be doing something right if your 16 year old wants to hang around with you. Dump your partner though. Plenty of non weirdos out there.

XmasElf10 · 26/01/2023 13:26

Of course it’s not odd!

Climbles · 26/01/2023 13:32

Have you misunderstood and she just thinks your DD should be spending some time with kids her own age? It’s the only spin I can think of that doesn’t make her a total dick. If she’s genuinely saying it’s inappropriate then put your DD first and dump the girlfriend. You won’t get this precious time where you are building an adult relationship with your daughter back.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 26/01/2023 13:36

I hope my husband and my Daughter (2 years old) have a relationship like this when she's older! honestly it's so nice
Im in my 30s and I speak to my dad most days on the phone - he babysits my daughter for me

We often go out to a comedy show together or for dinner on our own!

Partner sounds awful - get rid!

Maraa · 26/01/2023 13:38

Not weird AT ALL! My parents split up whilst I was doing my GCSEs. My dad took me to Egypt when I was like 16 and it was the best holiday and as an adult I now look back fondly on the time I got with just my dad. Hope you and your daughter have a great time x

Swipe left for the next trending thread